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What to do if girl disrespects you and flakes??


lwkniko

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So there is this girl I like at my college, and I think she might know by now that I like her. We had lunch one time then I took her out on a good date last weekend with a group, and we partied together afterwards. During these two meetings I felt like we really clicked and got to know each other. I also hung out with her a few times last year and She has never really bailed on plans with me before, which is why i'm a little confused right now. So monday on this week I called her to try to hopefully meet her again, but she didn't answer or return my phonecall. She is really busy(She is a senior in college I am a sophmore) so I didn't sweat it and called her again two days later. This time she picksups(Just like I expected, cause most girls do this) we have a nice conversation and she agrees to dinner the next day. So i'm thinkin everything is goin well, if she had no interest she wouldn't keep agreeing to get together with me, plus we have good chemistry. Then tomorrow comes around and I text her around 4pm because we didn't really schedule a time for the dinner. She texts me back saying oh damn can we reschedule because she has to attend office hours from 6-8pm. I tell her no worries and we then agree to grab a latenight meal from one of the dining halls on campus later on tonight. So I text her a few hours later asking her if she is still down for the meal. I get no response. Since we had already agreed and made plans I found this odd and I called her 30 minutes later after the text because I didn't want to wait around all night for a reply. She then doesn't answer the phone and I get her voicemail(I didn't leave a voicemail.). Plus I went on facebook later on and saw her post a link to a youtube video on her page which shows she didn't fall asleep or anything and if she can update her facebook and post links to a lovesong for everyone to see she can check her phone. Anyways, At that point I was kind of pissed because we made clear plans and she completely flaked and ditched out on me. On top of that she flaked on me after already changing the plans once herself. I feel like thats really disrespectful because you should have the decency to let someone else know if you can't make something. Even if my best friend did that to me I would be angry, thats like basic courtesy. I would expect this from a girl I had just met but I've known this girl for a while now and I feel like even if she wasn't interested she would at least tell me she can't come or doesn't want to come because she respects me. Well I guess I was wrong so what should I do? I don't think she will call back, and I don't want to call back again and act mad because that will show that I lost my cool. Why would she do this? Is this a game or is she just trying to get rid of me? Also how should I act towards her when I bump into her, should I just let this go or confront her about it?

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I'm a little confused by the last part.

 

You made plans with her for a late night meal because she had to work from 6-8pm. Then you followed up with a text and a call, neither of which she has replied to.

 

So, did you go to the dining hall to see if she turned up? Has the time you were supposed to meet actually passed (I don't know which timezone you're in)? Or are you thinking since she hasn't replied you'll just leave it?

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My advice:

 

1) Please write in paragraphs, it makes your post much easier to read and you will get more responses.

 

2) A girl flaked on you - it's pretty common, I would get used to it, but don't let it affect you too much. The ball is in her court. If she's interested at all, she'll get in touch with you with an explanation (or excuse), but for now I would assume she's not interested and pursue other girls.

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act like you dont care but at the same time be honest. dont make a big deal of it but if she talks to you or bumps into you acting all normal and not even mentioning the other night, dont act the normal way you do with her. be real short. If she does bring it up, tell her "its pretty imature to make plans and then leave the person hangin without an explanation but i guess that shows what kind of person you are. leave it at that.

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Oh sorry about the confusing part, basically it was a late night meal and the hours the dining hall is open for late night is from 10pm-2Am. I texted her around 10:35 and got no response so I called her at like 11:15pm and she still didn't pick up. Then I figured she wasn't coming. If she was going to come she would have let me know somehow that she was on her way or something or when she would come.

 

So you think I shouldn't bring it up if I bump into her? And I definitely shouldn't call her again right? and drewciouS281, don't you think if I keep everything short when I bump into her and don't act the normal way I act around her she'll know it got to me?

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so i just ran into her for a brief sec. I brang it up with a simple "what happened?" and she said oh i told u i had the office hours. Then i said what about the late night and then she said well I had to work on the problem set. She said the last part like she had told me she had a problem set, but instead of grilling her about it I said oh ok because her friends where there and I was walking in the opposite direction. What should I make of that? Should I still never offer to make plans with her again or should I give it another shot?

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so i just ran into her for a brief sec. I brang it up with a simple "what happened?" and she said oh i told u i had the office hours. Then i said what about the late night and then she said well I had to work on the problem set. She said the last part like she had told me she had a problem set, but instead of grilling her about it I said oh ok because her friends where there and I was walking in the opposite direction. What should I make of that? Should I still never offer to make plans with her again or should I give it another shot?

 

Why should you give her another chance? She's totally brushing off the fact that she flaked on you. Is that someone you want to keep chasing? There are plenty of well-mannered girls out there, no need to waste your time on one who doesn't respect you.

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so i just ran into her for a brief sec. I brang it up with a simple "what happened?" and she said oh i told u i had the office hours. Then i said what about the late night and then she said well I had to work on the problem set. She said the last part like she had told me she had a problem set, but instead of grilling her about it I said oh ok because her friends where there and I was walking in the opposite direction. What should I make of that? Should I still never offer to make plans with her again or should I give it another shot?

 

i wouldn't bother. she's stupid.

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It is disrespectful for anyone to do this. Think of it this way, if you liked a girl and she asked you to hang out with her would you forget you made plans with her or forget to contact her if something came up? I mean maybe if it was a family emergency or something. Other than that you’d remember. I’d imagine it’s the same way if a girl really likes you.

 

She’s not going to flake on you or forget to call you or something. At the least if she does she should be begging your forgiveness and asking for a second chance. Otherwise I would take it not only as a sign of complete disrespect but a definite sign that she is not interested.

 

I would say don’t contact her anymore. It’s up to her to make the next move if ever one is made.

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I think this is simple.

 

Think of her as your friend, just a friend, let's say a male buddy.

He does everything you just mentioned.

How would you feel?

 

You will still feel disrespected right?

Just act normal around her next time you see her, but no more invites for her

until she apologizes.

 

I wouldn't flake on my friends/family/ANYONE.

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