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To all the posters/readers on here! Thank you.

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This forum has really helped me through my breakup and rekindling and re-breaking up process. If it wasn't here, I probably would have continued to make all the wrong mistakes and would be in an endless cycle of chasing, chasing and more chasing.. ultimately leading to a depression. But, I'm not depressed. I'm hurting in the heart area, but it's becoming less and less painful as the days go by.


Back to the point.. The main thing I've noticed is how much hope everyone on here has given others! It also shows that there are good (and emotionally available) people in the world-- and we're in large numbers! So, with that, there is no reason to be bitter and feel like none of us can move on.


There seems to be stages that everyone on here goes through though. (I'm trying to be humorous):


1. Finding the forum by probably googling "how to get the ex back."

2. Lurk around for days, weeks, or possibly months looking for rekindling stories.

3. Posting our stories (while at an emotionally heightened state) and then receiving helpful feedback and kind words.

3. Initiating NC in hopes that the ex will miss us.

4. Complaining that NC isn't working and wondering if it ever will..

5. The ex contacts, it sets us back

6. Posting another article on what this can possibly mean.

7. Receiving more kind words and a sense of hope.

8. Re-starting NC for the right reasons after being re-burned by the ex (to work on ourselves).

9. Starting to heal and feel better, thinking about the ex less and less

10. Starting to comment on other new comers blogs who are hurting like we used to.

11. Forgetting about the past and finally taking off the rosecolored glasses.

12. Moving on and returning all the help by being one of the forum elders to help the new-comers make it through.. and being living proof that it is possible and does happen.



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Great work VeraLynn!


That's exactly the right reasons! It reminds me so much of this article that's been posted all over the web: link removed


I have it saved on my phone, and every time I start feeling down, I immediately look to it.


I think most people go through the stages, mostly through experimentation. Sadly, some people still sit in this horrible limbo where they don't live their own lives because of so much emotional attachment. It's those people I just want to give a big hug. =(

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