3rd Date Question

[NorthDallas40]

I just had a third date and would like advice on what to do next.

 

I've initiated all three dates and we've had a lot fun talking & laughing, even making out on the second date. But last night we only kissed briefly despite having as much fun as before, so I feel like she's putting on the brakes. Which is fine; I don't subscribe to the "3rd date = sex" rule. But I don't know if she's still interested and just slowing the pace, or giving me the hint that I'm being friendzoned altogether.

 

Since I've done all the inviting so far, I haven't gotten in touch since last night. And I'd like to see HER initiate the next contact, or at least the next get-together. What's the best way to let her know that I'm still interested, but I'm expecting her to make the next move?

 

(PS - If you've read my other thread at you'll know that I've got a 3rd date with another girl tonight, so I'm still in the "testing the waters" phase with both of them)

[hol234]

Ive been following your thread and really enjoying it! I would txt her letting her know you had a great time last night and ask her to let you know when she is free to go out again. If she replies saying she is busy and doesnt give you a firm date then Id forget her, unless she contacts you in a few days with a date.

[Puddincup]

A lot of women feel the guy should plan and ask for the dates at the beginning. If you had fun with her, just ask her out again. Over the next couple of dates, you can hint that it would be nice if she asked you out. Some women think the guy has all the power in regard to deciding if they will continue to date so you need to let her know that you want her to initiate too. Just remember that at the beginning, if both people like each other, both parties are insecure about what the other is thinking. If you wait for her to do something, she might also be waiting for YOU to do something and then nobody does anything. I know it's not fair that the guy does more of the asking but that's just the way our culture is. unfortunately. good luck

[Ms Darcy]

I'm not going to put this into a guy vs girl thing, but I'm going to frame it differently. You are dating multiple people, which is fine. I would say that either you should avoid sex until you want to be exclusive with her or you make it clear that you are dating others.

 

I think that it's perfectly acceptable to ask her if she would initiate more contact with you. Just note that if she's savvy, she might use that opportunity to parlay the conversation into an exclusive talk aka "I tend to intiate when I'm sure we are only dating each other." So, don't expect her to necessarily start initiating if that hasn't been the pattern; talk to her and prepare yourself for her asking you to step up your game.

[NorthDallas40]

So I may have my answer. I texted her yesterday and she texted back about 6 hours later:

 

ME: Hey Kathy aside from being a lot of fun, you looked really beautiful last night. Let me know when you'd like to get together again

 

HER: Thx! Sweet.

 

Wow, couldn't have sounded more disinterested if she tried.

 

 

 

But oddly enough, it looks like her timing was perfect. My dinner date with Carol last night was great, lasting through today, and we plan on seeing each other tomorrow. Follow that story here: