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Met a girl at a bar


k1k1

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Well tonight was a surprise. I had a friend's party at a bar, and this girl (random) kept on eyeing us. So I picked up the courage to say hi.

Iv never met anyone like this at a bar ever before

 

Now I managed to hold conversation and basically be myself. Im not really sure there was much flirting involved, but we had at least a good half hour talk.

 

In the end I asked for her number as she had to leave. She seemed like one of those snob types though, who visits bars alot and parties. Then again, I could be wrong

 

I would like to pursue this further though and see where it leads me.

When do I call back? I have thought about leaving it 2 days or so, then if it goes well, suggesting dinner

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So it wasn't flirting? Did she hesitate when you asked for her number? I'd give it 2 or 3 days and give her a call.

 

I wouldn't be so quick to judge her because you think she goes to bars and parties frequently. This doesn't make her a snob...after all weren't YOU at a bar party?

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No, she didnt hesitate when she gave me her number

 

It appears I was right. She had apparently given her number to "lots of people that night".

I called her and had a brief conversation. Perhaps 10mins at most.

Should I pursue or give up? The phone conversation didnt seem like it was going anywhere.

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What kind of conversation where you having on the phone? When I call girls usually I just remind them who I am and ask when they are free to set up a date. Even 10 minutes sounds too long in my opinion. Save the conversation for the date.

 

Who cares if she gave her number to "lots of people that night"? That is irrelevant. I would have told her, "and I got lots of numbers that night, but you're the one I'm calling. When are you free?"

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I would call again and just ask for a date. Be direct and just ignore all those deflects like she gave her number to "lots of guys that night". In my opinion save any conversation for the date and if she tries to move the subject away from that, don't let her.

 

If she starts asking you questions about other stuff, just teasingly tell her you'll let her know over dinner.

 

I completely take control of the conversation, although I have to do that at my job so I'm kind of used to it.

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I have decided to give this another go.

 

Being direct is what I had in mind. I will probably try this time via a message. Still need to figure out a way to put it. "When are you free, for dinner?"

 

Should I leave the ball in her court?

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I was just thinking of messaging the following:

 

"Hey R, its me. So do I count the other night as a rejection? If not, let me know if you'd like to go out for dinner sometime"

 

wait, did you send her the first message asking her for dinner and she didn't reply? if so, i wouldnt bother messaging again.

 

If you haven't messaged her, call her!!! It shows confidence. also, i wouldnt say about the 'i take it the other night was a rejection' as well because again it shows less confidence.

 

only my opinion though!

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No, the first time I called. I asked her if she wanted to go out tonight. It was quite awkward and she said that she had to go soon after. She did however ask me what I wAs doing this weekend though

 

bear in mind this was 3 days ago

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i fi were you i would just ask her when shes free to go on a date, at least you will know either way. you don't really have much to loose.

 

Agreed. Next time just ask when she's free in the next couple weeks and you'll do something then.

 

A) it shows you're not needy

B) you're not bending over backward to rearrange your own schedule to meet hers

C) it filters out the ones that just give out the number for attention because that huge open window of "then next couple weeks" invokes some sort of commitment on her part to let you know when she's free. nobody is busy that much and she's certain to have a window. If she really wanted to see you she'll let you know when.

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Have confidence, push for date. If you were a cool guy at the bar, then a lame dude on the phone, why would she want to go out with you, shes living in the moment.

 

If it comes off wrong or she doesnt respond well, let it go! Reframe it in 3-4 days if you get blown off again, shes not interested, go meet someone new.

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So what do I say when I call?

 

The last time I called she "had to go". Really puts my ego down, hence why I wanted to SMS.

 

"Hey R, hows your week been?"

...

and get straight into it.

"Let's meet up sometime. What about dinner, next week"

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"what are you up to this weekend?" is too general and misleading. It gives off the vibe of being nice about it but really not interested. Basically, she is giving HERSELF time to think out the situation...which in most cases are not a good sign. If a girl has to THINK twice about it, I don't like it.

 

Last time she said "I have to go."... Well, did she OFFER to call you back sometime OR did she INVITE you to call her back?

 

If she said neither, than forget it. Don't think about it. Move on...but if she CALLS YOU back, you better answer it. That will be your ticket, and you will have play aggresively to get on the top of her list.

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So what do I say when I call?

 

The last time I called she "had to go". Really puts my ego down, hence why I wanted to SMS.

 

"Hey R, hows your week been?"

...

and get straight into it.

"Let's meet up sometime. What about dinner, next week"

 

If she says she has to go again, immediately ask her when the best time to call back is. If she says I don't know, never contact her again, if she gives you a specific time, then call then.

 

If I was you, and I literally just called a girl for a first date earlier today (who I met at a club), I would say:

 

"Hey, how are you, this is _____"

 

"Hey I'm good."

 

"I'm free this Saturday, I was thinking dinner (whatever you want to do)"

 

"I'm not free this Saturday."

 

"When are you free?"

 

"Maybe next week."

 

"Alright, I don't have work next Friday, we can do it then."

 

"I work next Friday."

 

"Wow, you're busy a lot, are you ever free?"

 

------------

 

Be really pushy. Just set dates like that, a lot of people will feel obligated to go if you just assume they are going. I worked in credit card collections for 3 years lol, this is how you get people to do stuff. Don't give them a chance to think, just keep throwing things at them, people can only make up excuses so fast, pretty soon they have to give you the truth.

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Be really pushy. Just set dates like that, a lot of people will feel obligated to go if you just assume they are going.

 

 

It puts her in an awkward situation and puts you in the drivers seat.

 

Lol, you guys are crazy! What’s next, when you go to a bar you’ll bring a bright light to shine in her eyes to confuse her, and maybe she’ll be tricked into going out with you?

 

I wouldn’t think you would want a girl to feel “obligated” or “awkward” when you ask her out- these are the girls who will flake on you- cancel or just blow you off- because they don’t really want to go out with you in the first place!

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