I can't stop stalking him

[snowwflake]

My boyfriend broke up with me about 6 weeks ago, now I can't stop looking at his facebook. I know his log in password and so read messages he sends and receives, even his instant chat mesages. I know it is wrong, but I don't know how to stop. Its an addiction, every day I feel like I need to check. This is preventing me from moving on and I'm finding out things like conversations he's having with girls that really hurt me. Please tell me what to do or how i should stop. I cant tell him to change his password as then he'll know ive been spying on him. i just want to move on

[j.r.c.123]

My boyfriend broke up with me about 6 weeks ago, now I can't stop looking at his facebook. I know his log in password and so read messages he sends and receives, even his instant chat mesages. I know it is wrong, but I don't know how to stop. Its an addiction, every day I feel like I need to check. This is preventing me from moving on and I'm finding out things like conversations he's having with girls that really hurt me. Please tell me what to do or how i should stop. I cant tell him to change his password as then he'll know ive been spying on him. i just want to move on

 

you have to stop this. it's preventing you from moving on. he's allowed to do his own thing now you're apart and you have no right to be going through his fb. be careful as he may find out you're on his account if you're both logged in at the same time. you need to stop this. if he wanted you back he would have said. you need to move on and stop this.

[snowwflake]

I know I need to stop but i find it so hard not to look. How would he know if we're both logged in the same time. I'm so confused about the break up and want us to get back together so badly, but everything i find out hurts me more and makes me think there is less and less chance

[j.r.c.123]

I know I need to stop but i find it so hard not to look. How would he know if we're both logged in the same time. I'm so confused about the break up and want us to get back together so badly, but everything i find out hurts me more and makes me think there is less and less chance

 

if you were to log on whilst he was online or vice versa, there would be a notice saying 'you have signed on on another computer'. it happens with email as well. i know you want to get back with him but invading his privacy isn't the way forward. i think if you haven't spoke to him about getting back together already then you need to. it's been 6 weeks so i believe he probably won't come back to you but if it will put your mind at rest then try it. if he say he doesn't want to reunite then hopefully that will give you some closure and help you move on. logging into his fb doesn't make anything better and it's not going to help you get him back, it will make you feel worse.

 

i know you're suffering but i'm sure you can move on from this. just be strong and have faith in yourself.

[metafisics]

Why did he breakup with you? Why do you want him back?

[I_Speak_Jive]

you have to stop this. it's preventing you from moving on. he's allowed to do his own thing now you're apart and you have no right to be going through his fb. be careful as he may find out you're on his account if you're both logged in at the same time. you need to stop this. if he wanted you back he would have said. you need to move on and stop this.

 

Yeah, that's all in her post -that's why she is asking for help on how to stop.

 

Snowflake, if I were you I would simply message him and tell him to change his password because you know it. You don't need to tell him you have used it, just tell him you have it. That should be enough for him to change it and you won't have the option to stalk him like that again.

 

Next, you'll have to delete him from your friends because otherwise you'll continue to obsess over his profile.

 

Like every other addiction, making the choice to stop and taking the first steps are the hardest things to do. You will go through your withdrawals for a few days and then you'll come back stronger than ever.

[Capricorn3]

I cant tell him to change his password as then he'll know ive been spying on him. i just want to move on

Maybe that's exactly what you should do - tell him so that he can change his passwords and that way you'll be forced to move on. Invading someone's privacy is a really low thing to do. How would you feel if he (or anybody) did this to you?

[veda999]

My boyfriend broke up with me about 6 weeks ago, now I can't stop looking at his facebook. I know his log in password and so read messages he sends and receives, even his instant chat mesages. I know it is wrong, but I don't know how to stop. Its an addiction, every day I feel like I need to check. This is preventing me from moving on and I'm finding out things like conversations he's having with girls that really hurt me. Please tell me what to do or how i should stop. I cant tell him to change his password as then he'll know ive been spying on him. i just want to move on

I know how you feel, you still are attached and you just want a part of him. Have you communicated to him at all since the breakup? Why do you feel you need to "back door" your contact with him? How long did you go out with him?

[j.r.c.123]

Yeah, that's all in her post -that's why she is asking for help on how to stop.

 

Snowflake, if I were you I would simply message him and tell him to change his password because you know it. You don't need to tell him you have used it, just tell him you have it. That should be enough for him to change it and you won't have the option to stalk him like that again.

 

Next, you'll have to delete him from your friends because otherwise you'll continue to obsess over his profile.

 

Like every other addiction, making the choice to stop and taking the first steps are the hardest things to do. You will go through your withdrawals for a few days and then you'll come back stronger than ever.

 

it's pretty obvious what she has to do to stop. stop logging on to his account.

[HouseKitten]

Snowflake, if I were you I would simply message him and tell him to change his password because you know it. You don't need to tell him you have used it, just tell him you have it. .

 

I agree with this. The only way you can truly prevent yourself from looking is to take away the ability. You don't have to say you've seen anything - just say 'I know your passwords and I have to admit that I have had moments of being tempted to look at your stuff. I think it'd be better for both of us if you changed them.'

[snowwflake]

Thank you all for your advice. I will probably see him in a few weeks and tell him then "I know your passwords and I have to admit that I have had moments of being tempted to look at your stuff. I think it'd be better for both of us if you changed them", that would be best I thing. In the meantime I'm going to try so hard not to look. Going on holiday tomorrow for one week which should help.

For those wanting to know why we broke up please see this thread:

[shessofly]

if you are serious about this, i would advise NOT putting it off for a few weeks when you might see him! do it now! today! you'll be much better off when you do

[HouseKitten]

Yeah I would also suggest doing it sooner rather than later. If nothing else, if you tell him in person and he gets suspicious then it will probably be harder to lie convincingly than if you do it via technology.

 

Just text him now.

[mahipahl]

Dont tell someone you have their passwords, especially after 6 weeks. They would know you have used it already, why? because now you decide to tell them and after all this time you still remembered it. Actually in your case it probably won't mean anything but if someone is having problems with stalking seek prof. help. Otherwise it can really open a can of worms and depending on the person could get ugly for you quickly.

[JA0371]

This is disturbing.....and exactly why I don't even have a FB account.