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Why do I cry when we DON'T have sex??


SaRaHmArIe8588

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My boyfriend and I have been together for quite awhile..we live together and we have great chemistry. We fight like most couples but we have such passion..passion that I've never had with anyone else before. The only problem is..when I initiate sex and get turned down. Whenever I do, most of the time, it goes over well and we have great sex but other times when I'm turned down because he's not in the mood or tired..it pisses me off. I generally turn the opposite direction in bed and cry myself to sleep or I get severely pissed at him. I don't understand why I do this. We have sex and alot of it. Since we got together, I honestly don't think we've gone more than 2 days without having sex. Most days it is more than once because we just can't keep our hands off eachother so I don't know why it bothers me when sometimes I am shot down.

 

Any ideas?

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I agree. It hurts to be rejected. Specially if you're with someone you love in a relationship. It feels like maybe they dont want you as bad when that is probably not the case.

You're causing yourself more hurt then necessary. Try to rationalize with yourself.

Instead of getting mad maybe try cuddeling. It's not fair on him that you get mad everytime he isn't in the mood. And it seems you have a busy sex life.. not less then every 2 days? I'd say that's pretty great.

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I feel you discomfort SaRaHmArIe8588.

 

I've been in your situation a lot before. I don't usually cry, but I get upset with the person for being turned down and disinterested. It doesn't get my anywhere.

 

But I haven't found the reason my gf turns me down is something so simple as I am tired or not in the mood. Every time it has been something much deeper and more emotional. With this being the guy acting this way, I can't say it is similar. I've hardly ever turned down a gf for sex. Even if I was upset with them.

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My G/F told me over the phone last night..."I'm going to be too tired for sex this weekend, is that OK?" Yeah, it's OK, you worked your butt off. Drive up here, climb into your sweats, and let me take care of you. Why all the drama?

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I've been on both sides of this. In my experience, it's usually that the woman is not in the mood more often than the man, and I was expected to accept that (which I did), although it was definitely frustrating at times. However, when I wasn't in the mood and she was, it was a BIG DEAL. I don't think she ever cried but it was always a huge guilt trip followed by insecurity on her end. Eventually I just stopped "rejecting" her when I wasn't in the mood, which meant bad sex for the most part.

 

I would recommend keeping your emotions in check, especially having sex that often, so that he doesn't feel forced to cave in when he's not in the mood.

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i really dont understand how anybody can be too tired for sex. My gf and I for 2 years have never turned each other down. Even if i don't really feel like it i still don't turn her down because it sucks to not get sex when you want it, and once u start u get into the mood anyways.

 

So yeah I would be angry too if i got turned down i dont blame you!

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My G/F told me over the phone last night..."I'm going to be too tired for sex this weekend, is that OK?" Yeah, it's OK, you worked your butt off. Drive up here, climb into your sweats, and let me take care of you. Why all the drama?

 

shes not to tired to drive up there to spend the weekend with you, but she made it a point to tell you over the phone shes too tired for sex?

 

ive neve heard of being too tired for sex either. maybe if you had been working all day and came home to someone humping your leg when all you wanted to do was relax for a bit. but if your off for the weekend and youre spending that time with your SO thats a little different. she work weekends?

 

how can you predict you're going to be too tired to do anything.

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I'm really not sure why I get upset over this. I think maybe it is because I don't like rejection. It really gets to me..

 

Its totally understandable to be upset when you're initiating sex and being rejected. Who wouldn't be upset?! The fact that you're initiating sex is great and I'm surprised your boyfriend would ever turn it down...but its something you and everyone else on the planet has to deal with.

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My G/F told me over the phone last night..."I'm going to be too tired for sex this weekend, is that OK?" Yeah, it's OK, you worked your butt off. Drive up here, climb into your sweats, and let me take care of you. Why all the drama?

 

Why is this ok? She tells you ahead of time she doesn't want to have sex? This just seems wrong to me....

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  • 2 weeks later...
when I'm turned down because he's not in the mood or tired..it pisses me off. I generally turn the opposite direction in bed and cry myself to sleep or I get severely pissed at him. I don't understand why I do this. We have sex and alot of it. Since we got together, I honestly don't think we've gone more than 2 days without having sex. Most days it is more than once because we just can't keep our hands off eachother so I don't know why it bothers me when sometimes I am shot down.

 

Any ideas?

 

Grow-up. Human beings are not genetically engineered to be ready to go on your personal schedule. Don't be surprised if this dude gets sick of your radical insecurity and leaves.

 

Do you also cry if the traffic light turns red when you want to go?

 

You better get a Costoc membership when you get older, so you can stock-up on industrial quantities of Kleenex. You will be crying even more then - it sure won't be every two days if you have a long-term relationship.

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