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Want to become a better person! Any advice?


RoxyGril

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In past threads that I have posted about my issues with my mom. But, for what she has caused so much frustration and anger in my life. I've never been really able to express my feelings or opinions to her or really anyone because my dad was in my life enough as he should have been. So, I have been with my bf for 3yrs now and I have someone who cares a lot about me and loves me as well. I have trouble opening up expressing my feelings with him. I have trouble because what my mom has done to cause damage in my life it takes me longer to express what I feel. It takes me awhile because I feel as if I maybe attacked with negative responses. She has caused me to have a hard time trusting people.

 

It's not that I don't trust my bf it's what my mom has done to me. I know I am with a good person who hates to see what my mom has done and to see me go through difficulties that I have and I am experiencing with her.

 

I want to change to be able to open up and not feel that I have to keep my feelings and worries to myself. I want to become a better person and to be able to express my feelings to the person that I love the most (my bf). I have been working on my relationship with my dad and step-mom who I am able to trust and know that I do have other people that I can trust. I want to be able to trust people.

 

The thing is where to start? My mom has done so much damage...How do I separate myself from her? I don't see her very often (maybe 2 times a month and I only call her when I need to...which isn't to often) and I usually let her call me.

 

Any advice??????????

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When you are with someone you love and trust, like your boyfriend, and you have some worry or feeling come up, just tell him. You have been conditioned to feel negatively about expressing your feelings to people. All you need to do is remind yourself that this is your loving boyfriend and not your mother! Also, tell him to get the emotions out of you. I dated a girl that wasn't comfortable sharing sometimes and I really had to convince her I was not going to act crazy if she told me. Once you start expressing yourself to him, it should start to become more natural.

 

Also, if you hear that voice saying not to share the information with anyone, just say no and tell him anyway. One thing I did to get over shyness was to pretend that I wasn't shy, and after awhile I wasn't. It's like playing a part in a play. I don't know if it'd work for you, but maybe pretend that you are able to tell your boyfriend everything. Tell yourself that you can do it, and then, after awhile, you'll be able too. I don't know if any of that is helpful, but good luck!

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