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Keep her or cut her?


mouton

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Met her on link removed, but we have a couple of mutual friends. We talk/text every day pretty much all day. She's 22, I'm 29. She says she likes me and we've been talking for about 5 weeks. Only been on one date, last Saturday, and it went EXTREMELY well. We didn't just hit it off, we hit it out of the park. She said so. Anyway, she works 2 jobs and is trying to graduate this semester. She got out of a 6 year relationship a little over a year ago and has never really dated. I never see her and it's becoming very frustrating. When she's actually off of work, she's at home catching up on school work. ](*,) I don't know what to do b/c I really like her a lot and that never happens to me. Honestly, I'm usually a player and I never thought of ever settling down...until I met her. Could be karma biting me in the butt. But anyway, should I keep her and just be patient since she says she really likes me or let her loose and avoid the heartache?

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Only you can answer that.

 

Why can't you use your player skills to figure out how to see her more often?

 

because i actually like this one and care for her. she's not a one night stand or a hoe. I actually respect this girl. It's a whole new ballgame, one that I rarely ever play.

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See, mate, it does sound like a karmatic challenge for you. It comes down to if you want to continue as a player bedding women left and right, or if you want to actually work at something a little more serious.

 

I'm sure your player side will be telling you that there are far easier girls to be got somewhere and to leave this one alone, but if you think it is worth it - Hard to know from just one good date - then you are having to go the distance.

 

Ultimately as JD above said, it comes down to your choice, play or stay.

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See, mate, it does sound like a karmatic challenge for you. It comes down to if you want to continue as a player bedding women left and right, or if you want to actually work at something a little more serious.

 

I'm sure your player side will be telling you that there are far easier girls to be got somewhere and to leave this one alone, but if you think it is worth it - Hard to know from just one good date - then you are having to go the distance.

 

Ultimately as JD above said, it comes down to your choice, play or stay.

 

i want to stay, but I'm not a patient person and I never have been. It's hard for me. As for the player thing, I'm actually tired of that. It's pointless and just not enjoyable.

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Ok, calm down you two before you get moderated.

 

I think you need to take this as a challenge. Try to be more patient, that is something you will need in a relationship with any woman, so now is the time to do it. Take this as a learning opportunity, push your comfort zone and you might be surprised and end up with the women of your dreams all because you got past your old habits.

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1 date in 5 weeks just wouldn't cut it for me, but i'm not the most patient person and I am looking for a serious relationship. It's doesn't sound like it's going anywhere, I would cut her loose.

 

Woooooah! Hold on there just a minute.

 

It's often normal to build up a rapport via various forms of communication when internet dating, quite often because the people involved are also talking to and dating others. In my experience the clock only starts ticking once you get to the first date, so in actual fact its only been 6 days. It's quite possible that she had already agreed to go on dates with others from the website as well and hasn't yet decided what she wants to do. I'd say give it another weak or two. If she then doesn't seem that interested that would be the time to walk away.

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Quit texting all the time and she will not feel like she has you available to her 24/7. Then she will have a chance to miss you and make herself available to see you.

 

yea, that's what i started today. haven't sent her a text or anything. so far so good.

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Whose to say if you wait for her that there will be heartache? If you really like this girl, then wait for her. Try to have some patience.

 

Or go back to playing the field and feeling hollow.

 

I think it would be worth it for you to give this a bit more time before you bale. And don't just stop texting her altogether. That will just confuse her. Wouldn't that confuse you?

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I guess it might confuse her a little bit, but it's like a double edged sword. I feel hollow when I have no one, but even having her interested in me, but never seeing her makes me feel hollow. I am going to force myself to have patience and discipline!

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Is she available to see you this weekend? Some people are very busy during the week but can accommodate some dates on Sat/Sun.

 

she works all day usually fri-sun. last saturday was her first saturday off in about a month and a half. i'm just getting frustrated. i mean, i'm not used to actually liking someone and seeing potential. it's crazy and new to me!

 

quick dating history about me:

 

1st relationship: she left me after a year for the guy she was cheating on me with...and then married him.

2nd relationship: dated for a little over a year and she passed away in a car accident.

3rd relationship: dated for 7 months, she decided to become addicted to drugs and a stripper. she was a winner.

 

 

See, when I finally meet a good girl, like this one, I get nervous and I don't have patience b/c I want to keep her immediately. I know I know...I'm nuts. hah

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I used to lurk on here and just read the posts for about a year, but i finally signed up for an account. I'm friends with the OP, I'm the one that got him on here. he was banned for a few days for something that happened in this thread apparently, but to update everyone, he cut her loose on Sunday. she offered to meet him out after the super bowl and stood him up. he actually drove 2 hours from his super bowl party to meet up with her and she never showed. she eventually contacted him 3 hours later with a bad excuse like, "you came on too strong and you're too nice and sweet" or something. so there you go, just an update.

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