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Completely unexpected - or am I reading it wrong?


atticus

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I'm going to try and keep this short as I know long worded questions turn people off.

 

I've been getting close to a friend i went to high school with recently. I hadn't seen her for 3 years and we've been talking a lot since November and started talking and seeing each other regularly over the past couple months.

 

She lives in Victoria and I live in Vancouver, for those of you that don't know - it's about 3 hours away, nonetheless we see each other and hang out every weekend or so.

 

When she comes over, we sleep in the same bed, cuddle and flirt. I'm a pretty flirtatious guy so I never really looked into it. Recently she started calling me more often, before she goes to bed etc.

 

Today my room mate talked to me saying "oh are you going over to vic? jenny mentioned it, she also said some other random stuff"

 

apparently she was chatting to my roomie and said "oh, has jack (me) mentioned anything to you about me?" to which he replied "no, we don't really discuss those things." so she said "he asked if we wanted to have dinner. I hope he's not thinking anything and I hope I'm not leading him on"

 

I think she's awesome and she's sweet. I never had the intentions of looking for a relationship with her, but I'm not turned off by the idea either.

 

How should I react to this? In my opinion she either meant what she said - and I could go by that and distance myself a little. Or she asked to see if I mentioned anything about her, maybe because she's interested?

 

By instinct I'd definitely go with the first option - but I've had my fair share of experience with mindgames so I'm not sure what to think

 

any thoughts?

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Can you continue to have a friendship with her, knowing that she probably doesn't want anything more?

 

If you're perfectly happy then I see no reason to change anything. Why even mention it? I doubt she wanted it repeated back to you, so it will probably cause some friction between you, and if you're happy to keep things as friends then no need to rock the boat.

 

I can see why she'd be worried - perhaps you just need to reinforce around her that you value her as a friend, not as a romantic partner. But beware - be honest with yourself about your feelings. If she gets a boyfriend then surely all this cuddling in bed would have to stop - are you okay with that?

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