It was good as it last it

[nordland]

I am trying to figure out a way for me to start NC. It really hard this time around. After the break up I went straight to my parents house and been there for almost a month. After trying to contact him for a while without getting an answer, I stopped contacting him for almost a month. Then he writes me and I gave in and started getting in contact again, thinking that leaving a door open for him will make a huge difference. But the only difference that was made was that by me talking to him gave me some sense of wanting to live my life again, getting better and be happy again, yet the hope that we will ever be back again is fading and honestly it´s killing me inside.

 

I can not accept the fact that there is no us anymore, that I am on my own now after years of having his by my side. I need to stop talking to him, I think this will be good for me. Getting back each evening alone, in front of this computer does not really do it for me. I click the wrong buttons each time, his email. Like right now, an hour ago I wrote I wrote him and I know he got my message but he would not write back. This makes me want to lot stronger and be capable to not be as needy anymore and leave him alone and give myself the change to gain his respect again by being confident. Yes, that went down the love drain when I stared dating him...I fell hard for him and he became my world. And not he is not.

 

I guess I need some advice on how to get motivated to start NC. Anyone?

[HopefulDrew]

I guess I need some advice on how to get motivated to start NC. Anyone?

 

You answered your own question:

 

Like right now, an hour ago I wrote I wrote him and I know he got my message but he would not write back. This makes me want to lot stronger and be capable to not be as needy anymore and leave him alone and give myself the change to gain his respect again by being confident.

 

The motivation is right there. It hurts because he isn't doing what you want him to do. The only way to avoid that hurt is to not provoke it.

 

You want to be strong and confident. That is an excellent start. You've told us, now share it with some other people (family members or close friends). Research how to do it and write up a plan. And go for it.

 

Don't worry about gaining his respect. You need to gain your respect. That is much easier said than done. And if my experience is any indicator, you will think you have reached that point, then started to do something stupid and realize you still have work to do.

 

The journey begins for you now.