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why do so many people still think rape is a joke?


bluelava1

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it disgusts me to no end, a lot of it due to the fact that it's happened to me twice. i think more people take it seriously than maybe used to but still there are perturbing numbers of people who think it's a huge joke.

 

examples... the whole "you can't rape the willing" thing... WHY would you want to rape anybody? it's disgusting.

 

or i saw a "joke" online once that said something like, "a good friend will come up and give u a big hug, but a true friend will rape you in the hallway." it's mind bogglingly disgusting. grrrr

or a girl saying about a guy she was dating, "he could rape me and i wouldn't care. *giggle*" oh believe me you would.

 

why do so many people make a mockery out of it and do you think there will ever be a time when people can really understand the seriously traumatic magnitude of it?

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No idea. But nowadays, hardly anyone is phased by anything anymore. Doesn't mean we're becoming heartless... I guess we're just seeing the funnier side of life? I know, sorta messed up, but I get what you mean. Remember, they're just that, jokes. Not meant to be taken seriously into account.

 

If it bothers you, you can maybe tell the person who is telling the rape jokes that it hurts your feelings because you have first hand experience with it. Good luck!

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I don't take offense to the jokes unless they are in distaste. If it was dirrectly making fun of those who have gone though the trauma of being raped then I'd be mad. But people make jokes of worse things and it's also now used as a slang word. Yes I've been though it.. but everyone sees things diffirently. Just try to ignore it.

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People use humor to help deal with uncomfortable subject matter. This is why you will come accross jokes after big tragedies, such as Hurricane Katrina and 9/11. It helps them process it more easily.

 

I agree that it's often in poor taste and it trivializes the pain of the victims, but it's just the way it is. I suppose it's better than refusing to acknowledge that rape exists, which not uncommon in certain parts of the world and throughout history.

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I don't think anyone thinks the reality of it is funny. But some people just have a really macabre or twisted sense of humor.

 

This. I joke about things that wouldn't be funny in real life. I don't think I have joked about rape, but I am a pretty offensive person in real life.

 

I think if someone is joking about it around you, you should leave or ask them to stop. I don't think many people think rape is really funny in real life.

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It seems like there's a joke out there for just about anything / any difficult experience that someone could go through.

It is very understandable that you would feel that way.

 

I think that most people don't truly mean to make fun of something like this; it's like they detach the word from the original meaning and turn it into something very light.

 

Depression is difficult to go through, but people out there will say things like "Oh, i'm so depressed, i missed my favorite show". Things get reduced to something really light-hearted at times, and while it can help to find humor in things, i wonder if it desensitizes ppl to an extent, too. I find it worrisome.

I'm sure that most people wouldn't genuinely make fun of what you've experienced. If anyone does, stay away from them, i'd think they need serious help. = [

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I was sexually molested when I was a kid. I don't mind people joking about rape. I don't mind people joking about anything. Humor is a way to heal or at least it has been for me. Humor is looking at something in a different light, in a different way. The fact that I can laugh about rape makes me feel good.

 

Sometimes we fight the things that hurt us, sometimes we cry about the things that hurt us. Because I can't FIGHT rape not in all it's forms, because I can't spend my life crying, I laugh.

 

I think there is something healing and powerful in the act of laughing. I want to spend my life learning how to joke about the things that scare me. I am not a victim. I'm not a suriver. I'm a person who was hurt and has grown. I am a person who can look into the my darkest fears and laugh at them.

 

We grow when we can have perspective. Humor is always perspective.

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I have a pretty warped sense of humor. I can joke about some terrible things that I've gone through, but for whatever reason, when I see/hear a rape joke, I get really angry. My sister is a rape survivor. It's simply unfunny to me.

 

my thoughts exactly. i too often have warped sense of humor at times and can find humor in many difficult things i've been through. rape is anything but funny though.

 

 

I think if someone is joking about it around you, you should leave or ask them to stop. I don't think many people think rape is really funny in real life.

 

that i've tried and have gotten (from both people who know and don't know).... "c'mon have a sense of humor" even after i tell them how much of a trauma trigger it is. i did get up and proceed to leave one time recently and the joking stopped (couldn't actually leave as my ride was staying, so to really just leave the room), but not without some people distancing themselves the rest of the night. thanks though

 

it's actually when the people who know and continue the so-called jokes even after i've told them time and time again- that's what i find especially insensitive.

 

also i should emphasize that i've had other serious issues in the past that some people tend to downplay (most notably clinical depression and bulimia) and with those things not only can i very much deal with people making light out of them, but there have actually been times when, for example i was watching something on tv and there was a less-than-pc joke about eating disorders, and oddly enough i think i might have found that joke funnier than someone who hadn't been through it might have. the subject at hand crosses the line though. i think also because with such things as depression and eating disorders, though i don't talk freely about either, when someone in my presence does find out, it might vary the response i get, from 'oh ok' to over the top sympathy, but with either extreme, the person doesn't start to become tense and distant. with the subject of discussion, that happens.

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Depression is difficult to go through, but people out there will say things like "Oh, i'm so depressed, i missed my favorite show". Things get reduced to something really light-hearted at times, and while it can help to find humor in things, i wonder if it desensitizes ppl to an extent, too. I find it worrisome.

I'm sure that most people wouldn't genuinely make fun of what you've experienced. If anyone does, stay away from them, i'd think they need serious help. = [

 

right on the mark

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People who say jokes like this apparently need a lesson. It annoys the heck out of me too.Not that I would ever wish it ever happened to anyone, cause I know,but people make light of things till it happens to them. I am sorry.

 

yep thanks. exactly. and i'd never wish it on anyone either.

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I can relate to what you're feeling. I used to feel the same way.

 

I just think that some people think rape is sex, and that's why they don't take it seriously.

 

Few people could understand the damage rape causes to a human life, without having actually experienced it.

 

There are going to be people who think it's a joke, unfortunately.

 

When I was in highschool, some of my peers were singing this song. I have no idea what song they were singing, but I still remember one of the lines from the song. It was something like, "I want to be raped, it's the only way I'd ever get laid". It's a horrible line, and it has stuck with me all of these years. Unfortunately, it's another example of rape being taken lightly.

 

I know it's horrible to attempt to make a joke out of rape, but unfortunately some people will continue to find it amusing.

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why do so many people make a mockery out of it and do you think there will ever be a time when people can really understand the seriously traumatic magnitude of it?

Only ignorant people make a mockery of it, and you shouldn't worry about them. They are not worth your time. I used to work at a rape crisis center and I can tell you that some of the women that I would talk to would make me want to break down and cry over the stories that they told me about what had happened to them, but being a guy I tried to keep it together. Rape is very traumatic, and anyone who doesn't take it seriously just doesn't understand how deeply it effects the victims of it.

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Degradation is occurring on a daily basis in mass style fashion all over the globe. Realistically, rape is a small aspect of the continued degradation. There is no sure fire way to stop it. It serves like a growing cancer on earth, slow and evil. Nothing will stop the growth until the numbers sincerely against, exceed the numbers for.

If your concern is sincere, make the best of your life by continuing to help teach as many others as you can, to help fight the cancer.

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  • 1 month later...

Seven years ago I was raped with a gun to my head. After, I made rape jokes as a means of coping, like laughing about it would somehow make it less poisonous. Plus i didn't want others to think i was messed up from the experience, so i figured if i made wisecracks, they'd still feel comfortable to be around me.

 

in general i use humor as a means of comfort. but when people who have no idea what rape is like and throw the word around like it's nothing, really have no earthly idea just how quickly it turns your world upside down and changes you forever.

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