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Dealing with the anger and resentment


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How do I do it?, how do I get the feelings out and heal?

 

Last September my g/f and I broke up, it was her decision. I thought things were going fine then all of a sudden bam!, she dumped me with a text message and suddenly started sending long nasty emails until I finally had enough and wrote one back telling her how I felt. She was always very unhappy and P***ed off all the time, but never was hostile toward me, just very bitter and angry about life and everything and everyone around her in general.

 

Shortly after we broke up I found out that she had been cheating on me while we were dating, as if the hurt of being dumped wasn't bad enough, finding out she had been cheating compounded things.

 

Here it is, five months later and I'm still dealing with my feelings, resenting her and beating myself up over what happened. I feel like I've fallen into a deep dark pit of despair which is compounded by unresolved anger at her. What do I do to heal? I haven't had any contact whatsoever with her and don't want to, I just want the emotions out of my life so I can move on...............

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Thank you learning2relax, I like your user name, something I need to do, learn to relax and let it go. You know I feel a little better, it was kind of cathartic to get some of it out in a post. What ticks me off the most is I put my life on hold for a over a year to be in a relationship that I got S****ed over in the end. Sorry, I don't mean to rant here, but I just need to get some of it out.

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you have to forgive her. it is a process, where you will find yourself going back and forth, trying to justify your anger toward her. in the end hopefully you will come to realize that the only person you are hurting with your anger is you.

 

you feel as though they are getting away with something if you forgive them. i know all about it. but that's not true. forgiveness is for YOU. release her from your heart. your anger is doing absolutely nothing to her.

 

while you are sitting around stewing, she's out living her life. now you forgive her so you can do the same. that's where true healing can begin.

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you have to forgive her. it is a process, where you will find yourself going back and forth, trying to justify your anger toward her. in the end hopefully you will come to realize that the only person you are hurting with your anger is you.

 

you feel as though they are getting away with something if you forgive them. i know all about it. but that's not true. forgiveness is for YOU. release her from your heart. your anger is doing absolutely nothing to her.

 

while you are sitting around stewing, she's out living her life. now you forgive her so you can do the same. that's where true healing can begin.

 

Wow, after reading that and letting it sink in a little, it really rings true with me and a light bulb popped on above my head. Some of the best advice I've heard! Thank you so very much!!!

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