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I'm not crazy, just maybe I'm not as tough as you guys..


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Some of you are strong. You get over things quickly, you meet people at the drop of a hat and may or may not have the time and resources for counseling if you need it. None of those things apply to me.

 

Considering the fact that he cut ties quickly and coldly and during the most difficult time in my life, I think I've done pretty well. On here I've been called stalkerish, obsessed, told to move on, get over it, stop dwelling, etc. I have sent one 1 mail in the 1 month we stopped speaking, and it was a nice one, basically telling him I saw him on link removed, said I was sorry things didn't work out between us, wished him “peace and happiness” and never contacted him again. Not my brightest move, but I don't think that makes me crazy. And even though he is renting space in my head, HE doesn't know that.

 

I got dumped while battling a life-threatening illness and I think I've done quite well given my circumstances. So try to be a little patient with me, as I don't have any real family, and only 1 close friend. So it helps for me to be here.

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i hope you find support on this site. it sounds like you're coping very well with the situation. i think as time goes by, the less you will think of him. your ex sounds despicable for dumping while you were very ill. that is very low. personally, if i was you, i wouldn't even want to think of someone who is that uncaring.

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you are a very brave person and keep saying that to yourself. and im sure from your illness you now believe that life is too short and dont waste time thinking about him, there are so many people out there who can and will give more to you than he ever did. its funny love is blind, when u fall in love with someone, it blocks out all their flaws and you just convince yourself that no one can love you like he did but its not true, so not true!

 

People are immature when it comes to being with someone who is going through a life changing experience but i believe if they cant even support you through that and now he has even gone further to cut all communication with you, let him be and open your eyes to all the other people who will stand by you through thick and thin.

 

I know its tough and love makes us hold onto them but we have to let that person go because he clearly has and he is not worthy of your thoughts, just keep reminding yourself what he did when you feel nostalgic about him just keep saying to yourself " he left me when i needed him most"

 

you are way too nice and special to settle for that type of person.

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You are going through a very difficult time in your life with your health and the break-up. Either one in isolation would rock the world of anyone, let alone both combined.

 

I absolutely think you are entitled to feel however you feel! Keep coming here for support and reaching out. There are people who care here

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You are going through a very difficult time in your life with your health and the break-up. Either one in isolation would rock the world of anyone, let alone both combined.

 

I absolutely think you are entitled to feel however you feel! Keep coming here for support and reaching out. There are people who care here

That's how I feel, too. I think I'm doing pretty well, just the fact I've still managed to work full-time through all this, through treatments, no support from family, etc.

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I am probably pretty well-known here as the tough-love posterchild, but, sometimes, I forget that not everyone has the benefits/drawbacks of my condition. In a sense, I don't think most people are hardwired to be as pragmatic and sensible as I can be.

 

I'm glad to see you owning the fact that you're being strong. You should. You should be proud of that.

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That's how I feel, too. I think I'm doing pretty well, just the fact I've still managed to work full-time through all this, through treatments, no support from family, etc.

 

That is HUGE (being able to work and having little support)! Give yourself that credit and be kind to yourself. We all heal at different rates and go through different emotions depending on the circumstances of the break-up and all the other life stressors that are going on simultaneously.

 

You are doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances so be kind and patient with yourself. Don't compare your grief/loss/anger/sadness with others because your situation is very different than others'.

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I am probably pretty well-known here as the tough-love posterchild, but, sometimes, I forget that not everyone has the benefits/drawbacks of my condition. In a sense, I don't think most people are hardwired to be as pragmatic and sensible as I can be.

 

I'm glad to see you owning the fact that you're being strong. You should. You should be proud of that.

 

Hex, you ARE the tough-love poster child, we need you here!

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That is HUGE (being able to work and having little support)! Give yourself that credit and be kind to yourself. We all heal at different rates and go through different emotions depending on the circumstances of the break-up and all the other life stressors that are going on simultaneously.

 

You are doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances so be kind and patient with yourself. Don't compare your grief/loss/anger/sadness with others because your situation is very different than others'.

 

Yes, at first I really beat myself up - but looking back, I think i've done better than many would have.

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Yes, at first I really beat myself up - but looking back, I think i've done better than many would have.

 

hopefully you will stop thinking about him. he is insensitive and doesn't deserve being thought about when he was quick enough to abandon you when you could have died.

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hopefully you will stop thinking about him. he is insensitive and doesn't deserve being thought about when he was quick enough to abandon you when you could have died.

I don't know if it's "abandon" since we werent' in a relationship at the time, just "friends", but he def could have handling things differently, that's for sure! At least continued contact with me to see if I was okay..like you said, I literally could have died.

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I don't know if it's "abandon" since we werent' in a relationship at the time, just "friends", but he def could have handling things differently, that's for sure! At least continued contact with me to see if I was okay..like you said, I literally could have died.

 

if you were only friends at the time, then i definitely think he should have made the effort to at least come and see you and ask after you. if he can't even be a good friend, then he's definitely not worth thinking about. he sounds like an awful person and he abandoned you when you needed a friend the most.

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Misskitty, you are way to hard on yourself sometimes.

 

It's only been a month and you're dealing with the cut ties pretty well. You are still hurt and angry and confused by it ending but anyone would be.

 

You need to keep looking out for number 1 and try to focus on being happier again. Treat this like any other breakup. Because, it feels like a breakup to you. It doesn't matter what his reasons were or what his thoughts were. You are dying to know that, I know, I've been there. But, he gave up his chance to explain a long time ago and you shouldn't concern yourself with it.

 

Each day, the pain will fade a little more and you'll go more minutes between thinking about it. Hopefully soon the day will come when you realize you haven't thought about it for a long time.

 

Get through this hard time and keep your head up. ENA and I am here for you.

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I don't think anyone on here thinks you are a stalker or a nutcase. I certainly don't.

 

The only thing about your story that some people might be confused about is whether or not you did, in fact, have a relationship with your "ex". The way I see it you can only be dumped by someone you were in a relationship with. It's still not clear to me if your "ex" ever considered himself to be in a relationship. If he didn't then perhaps that's why it seems some people are being harsh on you.

 

You need to remember that all of us who post in this section of ENA are also in a great deal of pain. But for most of us that pain comes from the ending of a very close LTR that was akin to marriage. Whilst I have total sympathy for you, I think that others might feel resentment that you are pining over someone that you possibly never had in the first place, whereas others are suffering the loss of a LTR, engagement or marriage, which are a far deeper and more intertwined kind of relationship than what you had.

 

I'm sorry if I sound a bit harsh.

 

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that maybe the reason you are behaving the way you are over this man is because you have been through a time of particular vunerability, and when you need support you were looking for it from anyone you considered could remotely provide it. That is totally understandable. I would do the same in your shoes.

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I understand. I would never presume what I am feeling over this man to be equal to someone coming out of a LTR or marriage.

 

I also agree that this has been a very vulnerable time and had I not been going though my illness, I might have been over him in a fraction of the time. I don't really know.

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we can only control our actions and behaviour.........wondering and questioning why other people don't act or behave the way we expect or want them to act is a huge waste of time and energy. The only outcome will be us going around in circles.

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  • 2 weeks later...
we can only control our actions and behaviour.........wondering and questioning why other people don't act or behave the way we expect or want them to act is a huge waste of time and energy. The only outcome will be us going around in circles.

I agree with this. We could tell them how we feel, or how they hurt us, etc. We assume they would care - in reality, they might feel absolutely nothing if they were to learn of this.

 

We create our own closure.

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Some of you are strong. You get over things quickly, you meet people at the drop of a hat and may or may not have the time and resources for counseling if you need it. None of those things apply to me.

 

I have to disagree with you on this MissKitty, I think you've been nothing but strong in dealing with the break up.

 

You sent an e-mail to your ex, which might or might not be a mistake. Goodness, if I told you all the things I did when my ex broke up with me I think you'll whack me in the head.

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I have to disagree with you on this MissKitty, I think you've been nothing but strong in dealing with the break up.

 

You sent an e-mail to your ex, which might or might not be a mistake. Goodness, if I told you all the things I did when my ex broke up with me I think you'll whack me in the head.

Thank you..

Yeah, I guess I could have done a lot worse.

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