Suppossed to meet last night, but she changed the day.

[czjnkn]

So, if you read my last thread, my ex who I've barely spoken to in the last 3.5 months agreed about a week ago to meetup with me last night. This stemmed from some txt messages I wrote while out of town. These texts were the first in at least 2 months that indicated that I miss her and still have feelings. I was a bit drunk when I sent them and said I wanted to see her when I got back into town.

 

At first she asked me if I thought it was a good idea because she knew it was hard for me to talk to her and she didn't want me to get hurt. This made me think that reconciliation was out of the question. Regradless, I still agreed to meet up but i figured nothing will come out of it, but I want to try to feel her out. She had previously the last couple weeks beforehand called me and was jealous about a girl I had been hanging out with. I assumed this might be because she might want to get back and that's probably why i ended up texting her.

 

So I text her yesterday to make sure she's still up for meeting tonight. She wanted to meet at 9 PM after a bowling league she recently joined is over. I wasn't that happy with the time because I figure she picked that time so we could only see each other for a short time, but didn't say anything. She ended up texting me back and asked if I would rather hang out friday so we could meet earlier in the night as she has been going to bed early lately. I agreed and told her to have fun bowling.

 

So my mind has been thinking a bit about why she might've changed the day and time. Might she want to see me longer? She is giving up her Friday night to hang out with me, did some plans she had fall through?

 

I just have the idea that this meeting is going to go nowhere. I feel like I'm going to find out she's been seeing someone or is still going to say she can't be with me and wants to be friends. I've been preparing myself to hear that and I'm ready for it. I just feel like I need to take this chance.

 

I've kept my messages to her very short and cut the conversation early everytime I talk to her to avoid looking overly excited to talk to her. Anyway I should go into this?

[minou]

There's no harm in going to find out where her mind is right now. Good luck.

[JBaker]

I don't think you should read too much into this. Most of us here, myself included, try to read into every single little thing about our contact with our exes. I don't think it is very helpful.

 

Also, don't bring up the relationship during the meeting. It sounds to me like you want to bring it up. Only talk about it if she brings it up.

[bungalo]

I agree with JBaker...word for word...Right now you're going to disect every word she says...but if you have the strength...do not bring up the rel/ship...it will likely just cause her more feelings of guilt and may ultimately make her feel pressured. When I met with my ex, I was determined to keep things upbeat and light...but she kept crying..(mostly about her unhappiness with her job) and I dropped the "L" bomb...I don't want to blather on about my trainwreck....but try...realllly try to be positive..and if you aren't at your best...forgive yourself...next time..if there is one..you'll be stronger and better equipped to handle the emotional intensity....good luck

[czjnkn]

Well all I'm sating is I don't want things to happen like they did before. We were apart about a month and I decided that I had made good progress at bettering myself and we had dinner. I acted cool about everything and never brought up the relationship. She hugged me numerous times and even stopped at my house using having to go to the bathroom as an excuse.

 

The next time I told her I wanted to talk she came over and was already a bit angry, probably just from work. When she asked what I wanted to talk about i froze. I finally told her I just wanted to hang out more. She immeditealy said "just as friends?" and I said well i don't know...umm...and she said she can't be with me and she can't talk about this again.

 

I don't want that to happen again, but at the same time, I don't want to lead her on thinking I've totally accepted just being friends. I'm not sure how to do that.

[Lastchallenge]

Try to be exciting, stay cool and show some change. If u start to talk about the past that's just gonna kill it for both of u

[czjnkn]

I'm just a little scared that staying cool and everything is going to make her feel as if I've accepted being friends though.

 

I have this thought in my mind that she's probably only meeting me because she wants to be friendly and at the same time i'm only meeting her to find out how she's feeling about things and feel out the situation. I keep having this disasterous idea that we're both going to get hurt from it and i don't want that.