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Is this a friendship to keep?


aussielis

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hi

ive been friends with a girl for over 3 years. we met on the party scene, she has always been a bit unreliable. i broke up with guy and she was meant to be at home looking out for me this particular night instead she stayed out and brough some guy back to my house.

i let it go, we moved in together, i got a boyfriend, she felt left out and didnt have many friends but was going out clubbing heaps, out all weekend on the d////s. then started making all these party friends.

i introduced her to a friend, immediately they were best friends, i was meant to go to this girls b'day but had family stuff happening and i lied about it and got caught out by my flatmate, she told the girl i was lying. this caused major issue's and im not friends with the b'day girl anymore (her choice) i did apologise and try and explain.

i have now moved interstate with my boyfriend, i looked out for my flatmate and paid her 5 weeks rent left her with furniture etc. i have only heard from twice in 7 months, she even forgot my b'day. so one night i had been drinking and i rang and i gave it to her on the phone. she tried to apologise.

i ignored her then one night she and her mother called me and called me a 'silly tart'. hello, she is 32 years old i was fuming and i phoned her back and she kept ignoring me, i was drunk and i called her a s////t i shouldnt have i know but everything had built up.

we didnt talk for ages, then one night i rang her and apologised and everything was fine. that was 6 weeks ago and i ring her or email and she is just blank or ignores my emails and talks like im a pain the ar////...

its been bothering me so i rang today and said, i feel you dont care as you never call me or ask about my life (its about hers) she told me that there is nothing wrong with her not calling and that she doesnt really want to be a close friend of mine anymore...what do i do?

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It sounds like you two are not getting along anymore, you have moved out, but haven't left her behind you. It sounds like she is done being friends, so just move on. You have a boyfriend now, so be his friend more and her friend less. I am a guy, so I probably don't understand, but if my friend betrays me, ignores me, or whatever, I just stop being friends with them. It's no big deal. I know girls are more emotionally connected to their friends. It may be hard, but just find some new friends and forget about her.

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but what have i done wrong? all i ever did was expect her to be a friend? she doesnt think there is anything wrong not calling someone?

she hasnt even heard from that girl she betrayed me over for 3 months hmmm knew it.

she now tells me she wants to be friends but what do i do?

she also thinks that i interrogate her by email i.e. asking how her weekend was and what did she get up to etc? what the... doesnt this show that im showing an interest in her life....?she wouldnt even know if i was working or not...

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she told me that there is nothing wrong with her not calling and that she doesnt really want to be a close friend of mine anymore..what do i do?

This is easy - cut her loose and never look back. She told you she doesn't want you as a friend anymore so don't bother even trying anymore. It seems she lost interest a long time ago.

 

Sometimes things are just not worth it. This is one of them. Cut her loose and move on to other people who appreciate your friendship.

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she said she doesnt want to be my 'close' friend cos of how ive treated her i.e. calling her a name of the phone when i upset cos of her lack friendship' ive done nothing wrong but just expect a normal friendship....

I get the impression she doesn't want a normal friendship either as she doesn't sound very interested at all (imo). I would move on, but that's just me.

 

i have only heard from twice in 7 months, she even forgot my b'day. one night she and her mother called me and called me a 'silly tart'.

 

she is just blank or ignores my emails and talks like im a pain the ar////...

 

^^ Why would you even want her as a friend? She doesn't seem very "friendly" at all.

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i dunno, im going through a very hard relationship....i need my friends and i guess she isn't being there...

im pretty vunerable at the moment but i thought that's when friends are there for you? isn't it?

instead she does the opposite?

i ask her about her social life on the weekends mainly cos i wish i had a social life cos i dont at the moment... they go out to all hours so i ask what they got up to and when they got home as i know they out for days and it makes me life about their stamino, instead she think im interrogating???what do you think?

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..i need my friends and i guess she isn't being there...

im pretty vunerable at the moment but i thought that's when friends are there for you? isn't it?

instead she does the opposite?

She does the opposite and isn't there for you in your time of need because she's not a true and genuine friend.

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LET IT GO ...it seems to me she was really never your friend .You have put more into the friendship since you became friends sometimes party friends are just what they have always been just party people and nothing that is of value means anything because it is all about the party lifestyle.one day she will need you and you will look back and say its not worth it.but i understand. you are like me a friendship means alot to you and i even more when we apologize and they reject you .it will be okay trust me stop trying to figure out what went wrong its not worth it.

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she called me last night. she was out, she said she was ringing me so 'i felt loved' and she would be sure to ring me later if anything exciting was to happen that night, it was in a smart way.

she doesnt get she thinks i want her to call to find out gossip?

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she called me last night. she was out, she said she was ringing me so 'i felt loved' and she would be sure to ring me later if anything exciting was to happen that night, it was in a smart way.

she doesnt get she thinks i want her to call to find out gossip?

 

 

 

I don't know - but if you have to ask this question, it seems to me that your relationship with her is at a stage where you feel "cautious" or like you're walking on egg shells. Thats not very good at all - just goes to show the unspoken distance there is between you both.

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