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Your partner flirting with others!!!


brahman

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I guess this is revelation time for me again.

 

I was thinking about one of my old ex's and how I got so mad this one time when she was laughing and running around with another guy(I was young they were playing a sort of tag pushing each other in the pool). Well I was think about that moment and how mad I was and trying to figure out what about it made me so jealous. I think I got it though. It's the idea that it is what we use to do together, the moments that lead us to be together and the moments we shared while we were together. The moments that lead us to making out and dry humping each other while her parents were in the other room. From the outside it looks as though the only difference between what they were doing and we were doing was the physically sexual moments. It takes away from the special moments you have built in your head, the romantic idea you thought was yours and yours alone.

 

Now when I say stuff like this I make it very much about me, because in her mind she could not be flirting at all, she could just be hanging out having a great time with friends and her boyfriend in the background, completely innocent. But still, I believe this is how my emotions came to be. I believe now that every relationship(serious ones at least) should have something only the two of you share(besides sex) like secret communication, or meals, walks in the park, playful stuff, just something only the two of you are allowed to enjoy and when others try to join in they are pushed away, the others must find some other way to socialize with you or your partner.

 

Well I'm done, let me know what you think, bring out your own personal experiences.

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Well, call me weird, but

my (ex)bf and I found this very nice looking restaurant by accident, and we planned on going there the next month, but he ended up going there with his buddies first, and that pissed me off.

 

I agree there are certain things only the two of you should share.

It's like sharing your secrets with your SO, and your SO decides to share that

with some random someone. It's kinda heart breaking.

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Well, call me weird, but

my (ex)bf and I found this very nice looking restaurant by accident, and we planned on going there the next month, but he ended up going there with his buddies first, and that pissed me off.

 

Wow we have something in common. I told my bf last year that i wanted to go to this specific cafe out in the city. We never got the chance and this summer, while i was overseas on holiday, he went with one of this (girl) friends and his other mate. This really pissed me off. And the worst thing is that he tried to conceal it from me. jflajfdkldjfkd

 

However, there are other examples which make me uncomfortable. Maybe I'm just a jealous being after all.

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Well, call me weird, but

my (ex)bf and I found this very nice looking restaurant by accident, and we planned on going there the next month, but he ended up going there with his buddies first, and that pissed me off.

 

Oh wow, that happened to me as well. There were literally 2 movies that were coming out that I was so excited to go see, and one of my ex's(were together at time), she went on a week vacation without me and watched both of them.

 

She was so pissed when I refused to watch them for the first time with her.

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I think it's very selfish to be mad a partner because they went to a cafe/restaurant/movie without you when you would've also liked to go..

 

I am guilty of feeling jealous/mad about this before as well..maybe going to a movie they knew you wanted to see with them isn't so nice but you need to consider the circumstances...if all of my girls wanted to go and see x movie this weekend I wouldn't say no just because my bf has told me he wants to see it too and just not go with them and stay home

 

If they offer to see it again with you, why would you still get mad?

 

I'm not sure I get it..

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I don't care if my boyfriend flirts with other people. He's only human afterall and it has nothing to do with me as a person if he does.

 

how i would LOVE to feel that way! can you elaborate please? as a guy do you think its part of their nature?and it doesn't necessarily mean anything?

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how i would LOVE to feel that way! can you elaborate please? as a guy do you think its part of their nature?and it doesn't necessarily mean anything?

 

I think everyone likes to flirt, and it's natural. It's something that most people stifle because they either want to be respectful to their partner, or they know their partner would get angry/hurt/insecure, when there's no reason to.

 

People seem to not ever trust it when someone is with them. They worry they're too fat, too skinny, too smart, too dumb, too _________. But what people seem not to get is that someone is actively choosing to be with you, over being alone or with someone else.

 

That is a huge compliment and I respond to it in kind by simply accepting it. Not questioning it. Not qualifying it. Not taking my partner to task for any insecurity/jealousy issues I have myself.

 

Those are the issues of the individual. You shouldn't change someone else because it's easier than working on yourself.

 

Besides, it's just flirting. People do better when they know their partner trusts them and they're allowed to have some breathing room. That's how there's room to grow in life, and love.

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I've had a similar experience. My boyfriend at work was complaining about how his mug is too small etc. So I went looking everywhere for a large mug for days. I found it and gave it as a present to him. He used it for a while until last Christmas when his new coworker (who seems to be promiscuous from things I have heard about her) gave him a mug that has a plug in that heats it. Since then he switched to using her gift (even though the mug is small). That made me feel not mad, but sad. I didn't say anything, but it is noted.

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I've had a similar experience. My boyfriend at work was complaining about how his mug is too small etc. So I went looking everywhere for a large mug for days. I found it and gave it as a present to him. He used it for a while until last Christmas when his new coworker (who seems to be promiscuous from things I have heard about her) gave him a mug that has a plug in that heats it. Since then he switched to using her gift (even though the mug is small). That made me feel not mad, but sad. I didn't say anything, but it is noted.

 

aw dont be sad! its just a "mug"..boys like toys..he probabaly thought ooo a plug lol and got excited..thats all

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haha purplej ... well it's partly true

 

Well what I wanted to say..

One of my girlfriends left me cause I never got jealous even if she flirted with someone in front of me. I just knew she loves me but she wanted me to be jealous at least a bit .. weird isn't it ?

 

My next one left me cause I was jealous, at least sometimes I pretended to be .. I thought I have to be or else it takes the same end. Of course she didn't believe me when I said i just played this lol

 

Lesson learned: Be yourself..

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I think it's very selfish to be mad a partner because they went to a cafe/restaurant/movie without you when you would've also liked to go...

 

I don't think it's selfish, and how you feel inside is something you can't control.

Whether you express it is up to you, and if you call that selfish, then that's just a difference between me and you.

In my opinion, he is the one who was being inconsiderate and being selfish(in my case) because he knew how much I was looking forward to it. He could've called the day he went there? hello?

 

My point is I think there's a thin line between what's acceptable and what's not depending on your personality.

 

I read somewhere on this website that her bf thought it was OK that his female friend sleeps in his bed with him.

Some people are ok with their Sos flirting with other people, some aren't.

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I will admit something that I realize is really foolish. I kinda get jealous about my boyfriend's interests. I know that sounds silly, but it's like I envy the focus and passion he is spending on airplanes, church youth group, choir, etc. Also, when he pets my cat with such gentleness and devotion, I kinda wish he was doing that to me. I guess I just like attention. I guess we all do.

 

One thing I've noticed, though, is that my boyfriend gets a little jealous if I talk to other guys at church. There is one guy I have known for years and has recently been coming to church (interestingly, my boyfriend has known him for years too, as he was in both our circles). This guy is not someone I would be attracted to and my boyfriend knows it, but he'll walk away from me whenever I talk to the guy. I notice that my boyfriend makes a point to sit far away from other women our age. It makes me wonder why.

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