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My ex calling me when she's drunk...(insight?)


Diagonal

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Hey people,

 

As an update - Things are going well with me and my ex, using LC.

 

I honestly feel I'm getting closer and closer to getting her back each time I see or have contact with her, but I guess we'll see...that could all fall apart.

 

Anyway, over the last few weeks she's called or text me when she's been drunk. Now I've been asleep, so missed the calls, but sometimes she'll make like 2-3 calls back to back, or text me to say hey at like 3am.

 

Now, I think generally she is taking things slowly with me and being really good at hiding her feelings about me, to see if I have actually changed etc. (I know that sounds presumptuous, but I know what she's like and I do think she's doing that).

 

So what do people think about Ex's drunk dialling? Do you think the alcohol is maybe dropping her guard a little or is it nothing and I'm looking into this too much?

 

Any insight would be awesome.

 

Thanks guys,

D.

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That's what I was thinking, or more likely hoping.

 

I mean I spoke to her today and she was like 'I was just returning your call' (I called her last night to arrange going out today), but you don't return a call at 2.45am with two back-to-back missed calls do you?

 

Well I'm meeting her in a few hours. As I said I called her before, it was very jokey, upbeat and flirty - so that gives me hope plus she told me that this guy was coming onto her last night at this club and she slapped him and kicked him as she wasn't interested! She was very insistant about telling me, which also seems promising, adding to the other week when she told me she's not interested in anyone else.

 

It's hard to take things slowly, but I'll do my best!

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She is missing you but it may not mean she wants to get back together, Im not saying she doesn't for sure, just be careful here. I think you are being wise to question this and it is probably best that you missed the calls. I think time is needed here and you are going at a good pace. Let her make the contact and be sure to make her aware (be subtle) of your change in your life and your attitude towards relationships and above all her, what you have realised and learnt.

 

Her calling is a little unfair although she is doing it through love, remember this also. You both need to respect each other now, that is what LC and NC is about. She should be respecting you, this includes 3 am and other small hours.

 

Can I just add, I rang my ex drunk after breaking up and that was because I missed him and love him. Alcohol does weaken those guards we put up, he didn't rise to it straight away, if he did I would have been ashamed I think, then a week later he texted to say "hey, you ok? we can meet if you like?" -this was good for me and we were in a similar situ to you and we met. But that was us and every relationship is different.

 

Take your time here and keep an open mind at this stage. Good Luck you, it seems there is love there and I wish you every happiness.

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yes we did but it takes a lot of barrier breaking and trusting, I did test him but I had to be sure so get ready for that erratic and indecisive behaviour. One word of advice re getting back together is that it is just as hard if not harder than staring fresh with someone new. So I would make sure you totally wipe the slate clean both of you and really think about this and make sure its for the right reasons.

 

It hopefully will be stronger than ever before and can I suggest maybe moving out of your brothers or some gesture to promote how sincere you are? But like I said before, take small steps, time is the key right now and patience.

 

I am assuming you are meeting her now, so fingers crossed and keep your cool...its your relationship too.

 

All the best hon

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