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I know why it's killing me that I am single.


babybear

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I am only 20 years old. I have loads of friends, yet I feel constantly in pain that I'm alone. It's because all my friends are in love and have boyfriends. i have loads of friends - i'm at uni so i have my housemates and coursemates etc and somehow they are ALL in relationships. and that's all they ever talk about. they all relate to each other about their boyfriends and i don't have anything to say. i feel so out of place and like there is something wrong with me even though i know there isn't. i'm still so young and i want to go out and enjoy my uni time but everyone is in a damn relationship and they make me feel like there is something seriously wrong with me because i'm not seeing anybody. I feel so awful when they are like 'we need to find you a man' argh! i wish i had some single friends!

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I know this. Some of them are in awful long-distance relationships where they hardly ever see their boyfriends, yet they still make me feel like there is something wrong with me. And everytime I kiss a guy it's like "oh my god are you going to go out with him?" like there is so much pressure and I just want to be left to be. But they make me feel like there is something wrong with me for not being loved and it's kind of killing me because I have to live amongst them everyday. It's so horrible and ridiculous how EVERYONE is in a relationship! gahhhhhhhh

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to me, it's a bit sad if all a woman has to talk about is the man in her life. what about what is happening in the world? current events? politics? heck, even TV shows! school! sports! i mean, there is so much more going on in the world aside from boyfriends. i mean, think of the people in haiti. they are going through so much suffering and misery and hunger. i am sure they would love to be at university with a warm bed and food right now. enjoy what you do have. enjoy the single life! have fun! remind yourself that you are a complete person all by yourself. like the line from some book i read, i don't remember what it was but it was, "Jerry Maguire, I hate to break it to you, but you DON'T complete me!" lol. so true!!!!

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"oh my god are you going to go out with him"

 

Haha I get the exact same reaction from my friends from just going out with a girl. I can't imagine them if I actually got a kiss out of one. It is to the point I don't even tell them about my dates anymore. Way too much pressure.

 

I say you should just be social and enjoy single life! I know a relationship seems glamorous, believe me I would want nothing more than to find my first gf, but you can't beat yourself but because you don't have bf. Go out and have fun and don't worry so much! You are really young and have a bunch of time to find the right guy for you. You never know when you'll find him.

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to me, it's a bit sad if all a woman has to talk about is the man in her life. what about what is happening in the world? current events? politics? heck, even TV shows! school! sports! i mean, there is so much more going on in the world aside from boyfriends. i mean, think of the people in haiti. they are going through so much suffering and misery and hunger. i am sure they would love to be at university with a warm bed and food right now. enjoy what you do have. enjoy the single life! have fun! remind yourself that you are a complete person all by yourself. like the line from some book i read, i don't remember what it was but it was, "Jerry Maguire, I hate to break it to you, but you DON'T complete me!" lol. so true!!!!

 

Yep...and then, of course, once they all get married they cease talking endlessly about their husband and end up talking ad nauseum about their children!

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Ugh! I can relate. I used to work with two girls who talked about their BFs constantly. I also rode the bus to work with them everyday. They were so smug about it too. It was horrible. It didn't help that everyone at work was in a relationsip or married and thought something was wrong with me because I wasn't. I opted to take the train to the bus instead of riding the subway with them to get away from it. I also had a single friend at work I'd hang out with instead of them.

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I hear ya. Well most of my friends are actually not in a relationship. But a few of my friends are getting into the habit of hosting these little parties, then drink a lot and end up making out with guys who are sometimes their friends and usually regretting it. then rinse and repeat the same * * * * again.

I myself sometimes feel bad about not being in relationships/being with guys, but after being in those environments with everyone getting drunk and hooking up, it has made me realize that I am really not interested in that.

 

Sometimes I feel a little out of place because I don't really drink alcohol and in college people seem to always put meeting guys with getting drunk.

Perhaps things will be different in the 'real world" ha

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I hear ya. Well most of my friends are actually not in a relationship. But a few of my friends are getting into the habit of hosting these little parties, then drink a lot and end up making out with guys who are sometimes their friends and usually regretting it. then rinse and repeat the same * * * * again.

I myself sometimes feel bad about not being in relationships/being with guys, but after being in those environments with everyone getting drunk and hooking up, it has made me realize that I am really not interested in that.

 

Sometimes I feel a little out of place because I don't really drink alcohol and in college people seem to always put meeting guys with getting drunk.

Perhaps things will be different in the 'real world" ha

 

I don't think it is a good idea and I think many people will agree for anybody to hope or try to find 'Mr' or 'Mrs' right whilst under the heavy influence of alcohol. It depends on what people are looking for whether it is a fling or something more. Besides, IMO alcohol's overrated both taste and effect wise. I'd rather go through life and social situations experiencing my real, non drug affected emotions than to have them distorted by such things.

 

Don't feel like you're the odd one out for not drinking because you're certainly not the only one, and there isn't anything wrong with being a non-drinker either!

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