Pain is too much for me. Cant handle it

[No1]

Might have heard my story or not. X asked to let her go to work on herself and raise her son, she moves way to her parents, says, cant do a long distance thing or have the energy.

that was almost 6 weeks ago.

She says now has found her soulmate, she loves him, she is devoted to him, says forever yours, and is planning to move away with him this summer. And Oh he lives in my home town and she is doing the long distance thing.

I poured, gave, gifted, every single ounce of love I had to this woman. 2.5 years of thinking of her every day. 14months of being together.

I know I must turn my back, walk away and I know I tried my best. But how do you stop and turn your back and let them go?

The pain is too much to take, I feel like I am on a cross, nailed to it (again) so I can absorb her pain while she falls for another man. I am good one minute then wham! god slaps me with his back hand. And how could she find someone in only 6 weeks? I cant even imagine saying I love you to another girl.

[ichiban]

Dang. 6 weeks is a bit unusual. Perhaps this was in the works for a while?

[coolchick64]

Oh good heavens. I'm so sorry! That's horrible.

 

I agree with Ichiban. Six weeks and the other guy's her soulmate?! She's deluding herself. She also should've exercised a little more self-control when she talked to you. No one needs to hear that stuff. But don't take that part of it seriously. She's temporarily insane.

 

The part to take seriously is that she's moved on and that's painful enough. I went through something like that and it hurts like nothing else. It's just gonna feel like crap for a while. It won't feel this bad for long, though. For me, it took about 4 weeks to climb out of the well. So, No. 1, focus on March. Do whatever it takes to get there and know you'll be feeling better then.

 

I'm sending you big (((cyberhugs)))

[No1]

I dont think it was in the works. She cant be alone, she is insecure, she told me "you have to learn to be alone" but yet she has never gone more than a month without a boyfriend since she was 15..she is 27 now. Every guy but me has cheated on her and she needs to be told she is pretty and she is really hot.. ha ha.

my friend said its a "new love" and thats always exciting. Discovering someone new and having them tell you blah blah blah.. you get the point.

But that does not help me now. I am going to need you guys. I just cant take this pain anymore, I am really physically in shock, my hands, arms, legs, body is shaking. I cry on the floor begging god to stop this pain.

[Mauxly]

I just cant take this pain anymore, I am really physically in shock, my hands, arms, legs, body is shaking. I cry on the floor begging god to stop this pain.

 

Ugh, I know how you feel! I was right there in October. My advice? Feel the pain, let it flow through you, let it all out. Don't try to stuff it, medicate it, or rationalize it away. It is natural, and you aren't crazy or weak. Know this.

And also know that you will eventually be OK. You will suffer, and will come out the other end a better person.

 

Remember, just because she left you does not mean there is anything wrong with you. Some people just aren't at a place where they understand that true love isn't about that chemical high they get in the beginning. When that fades they look elsewhere. It has NOTHING to do with your worth.

 

I agree with the other posters that she's not in her right mind at all right now, so nothing she says or does is based in reality. Try (as hard as it is) not to let her words or actions effect your own self esteem.

 

Take good care of YOU right now. Go NC, suffer and move past it. It's rough, but it is the risk we all take when falling in love.

[learning2relax]

No1,

 

Hang in there. 6 weeks is no amount of time to find someone and define them as a "soulmate." She hasn't known him long enough (if it has only been 6 weeks or less) to apply that label. She may come to find out that he is very different as she sees him now. In the beginning of the relationship, people only display their best attributes. In time she will get to know the real him and be able to make a better determination and/or realize that she was fooled or very wrong. You have to ask yourself, if she is able to jump into having feelings like that so quickly about someone so new, is she being true to herself or looking for comfort for her own pain and loneliness?