I txt'd him, He called me, Im in pain all over again

[mattguy]

After seeing some pics on facebook i txtd him saying " its hurting me that youre ignoring me like this... i deserve better"

 

the next day he called me , said he was out of town and he was sorry.

 

we talked for 10 mins, we were laughing about things, catching up. it was the first time we had a good conversation since the breakup almost a month ago. He didnt argue when I told him I know he misses me. We decided to be friends.

 

a few hours later he txt'd saying it wasnt a good idea

I said it was and lets at least try

he said ok

I told him about joining a new gym

... no txt back. that was on monday.

 

i feel like im back at square one and I just wanna talk to him so much again! i cant call him or something the ball is in his court and I want to show him ive changed and arent as needy as i was before.

 

arg w.t.f. do i do now ?

 

NC is killing me, i miss my best friend. how can he live so easily while Im so dead and broken. Is he just putting on a good front

[HouseKitten]

After seeing some pics on facebook i txtd him saying " its hurting me that youre ignoring me like this... i deserve better"...

 

....I want to show him ive changed and arent as needy as i was before.

 

 

The thing is, have you changed? What you've described in your post says no, unless you were far, far worse before this. You still look to him for love and attention. If he broke up with you because he said you were needy, texting him about how much you're hurt is not going to do you any favours.

 

If you want to show him you're not needy, stop contacting him. It's not NC if you only contact him when you really want to. Be hard on yourself and don't call him, don't text, don't email. It's difficult now, but there are going to be one of two results:

 

1. You manage to pull yourself together, you stop acting so needy, he sees this and is impressed, you end up back in communication and possibly together, or

 

2. You manage to pull yourself together, you stop acting so needy, you start to make a life for yourself that doesn't involve him and even if he never comes back it doesn't matter because you've moved on.

 

Texting him about how hurt you are will only push him further away. No one likes to hear about how bad they made someone else feel.

[mattguy]

I know you are right, sometimes i feel like im SO ok with things, and other times i cant breath . I think seeing his pics on facebook reminded me of how in love i am with him .

 

Its so desperate but if he came back to me things would be so much better, ive learned from all the wrongs and the mistakes ive made in the relationship. i want it all back! i know he still cares about me but hes stronger than me.

 

plus hes going away on valentines with my other ex who he was seeing before me. so i think part of him is afraid of talking to me and feeling guilty on his trip.

[pumpkinmoon]

It will be obvious to him you haven't changed because you forced him into staying friends. You saw some pictures on facebook and it made you text him so it looks to him like you are just as needy as you were before. This is why you shouldn't be looking him up on facebook.

[mattguy]

It will be obvious to him you haven't changed because you forced him into staying friends. You saw some pictures on facebook and it made you text him so it looks to him like you are just as needy as you were before. This is why you shouldn't be looking him up on facebook.

 

I knowwww he blocked me on facbook but i was looking thru a friends album and there were pics of him from that night i guess. i dont think im AS needy, but im doing my best.

[vertigoxo]

Oh honey I hope you're okay!

 

For the future, DON'T GO TO HIS FACEBOOK EVER AGAIN! It's going to hurt you. Delete his phone number, IMS, emails, etc. Anything you can get your hands on that has a link to him... Delete it.

 

You'll have to establish hardcore NC from here. He broke up with you because you were needy? Okay, I'm up for that challenge; Don't contact him until he contacts you, and ignore him for a day or so and then text back casually. Say you were busy and was out on a date with someone else.

 

Good luck!

[pumpkinmoon]

Oh honey I hope you're okay!

 

For the future, DON'T GO TO HIS FACEBOOK EVER AGAIN! It's going to hurt you. Delete his phone number, IMS, emails, etc. Anything you can get your hands on that has a link to him... Delete it.

 

You'll have to establish hardcore NC from here. He broke up with you because you were needy? Okay, I'm up for that challenge; Don't contact him until he contacts you, and ignore him for a day or so and then text back casually. Say you were busy and was out on a date with someone else.

 

Good luck!

 

Good advice but there is one little thing I would change, if he contacts you, don't answer him at all. It seems he doesn't want anything from you right now, even friendship. Even if you were to be friends you are not in the right place to cope with it right now.

[JohnTheMan]

i have read some of your posts. i feel exactly what you feel. I would have sacraficed myself for my ex. done anything. recently i finally got my closure from her.

 

reading your story it seems like you could really use the NC. it will help. it will also tell you what his intentions are. I have made a pact with myself. after my ex denied seeing me, i asked her not to contact me anymore. i will no longer look at her facebook, her friends facebook, our pictures or anything else that reminds me of her. i will do whatever it takes to distract myself from thinking about her.

 

I feel like you may be able to use the same thing. Give 110% effort. give yourself a total 30 days of nothing but you. challenge yourself.

 

I feel for you. I know exactly how painful this is. Good luck