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Just confused.. man


a_lifters_life

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I dont know, lately I've just been thinking about my rel with my g/f of 1 yr and 8 months... we have good times, then we have bad times. It just seems like a rocky rollercoaster anymore.

 

Just the way she acts, treats me. Like for instance, lately I havent been able to get up with a snap of a finger (figurately), what does she do? Screams at me.

 

Lately, I've had a friend or two who are girl's (completely platonic), who my g/f freaks out about also. I'm one of those good guys, one of the ones who would NEVER in a million years cheat. BUT YET, she still thinks I'm gonna cheat or the girl is going to convince me to get with her.

 

Alll in all, I guess I feel hurt, disrepected and it just doesn't seem healthy.

 

Over the past year and 8 months there's times when I know I should have just ended it, but I didnt. Because, I truly with all my heart feel for this girl and without a doubt am in-love with her.

 

It's just tough.. sorry for long post... respond with anything.

 

Thanks ENAers

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"Over the past year and 8 months there's times when I know I should have just ended it"

 

Could you give some examples of these times?

 

To me, it sounds like a fairly normal, long-term relationship. You two are very separate people, trying to work together to make a relationship work well. There are bound to be conflicts.

 

Jealousy is also very common. I get uncomfortable about girls being interested in my boyfriend, and he knows I am the jealous type. I just do everything I can to try and keep that part of me in check.

 

Perhaps there just isn't enough compromise in your relationship..?

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"Over the past year and 8 months there's times when I know I should have just ended it"

 

Could you give some examples of these times?

 

Perhaps there just isn't enough compromise in your relationship..?

 

Just huge fights of issues with how her family used to treat us. It's been a longg rollercoaster.

 

Compromise how?

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Fights are really difficult, but you got through them in one piece which is a lot more than can be said for many couples. It should not be underestimated.

 

I mean compromise in that it seems she might be unwilling to change or even acknowledge some behaviors of hers that bother you. Like the jealousy and the "finger-snapping" thing.

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Fights are really difficult, but you got through them in one piece which is a lot more than can be said for many couples. It should not be underestimated.

 

I mean compromise in that it seems she might be unwilling to change or even acknowledge some behaviors of hers that bother you. Like the jealousy and the "finger-snapping" thing.

 

How do you compromise on finger snapping? Your either up or down, you can control that like a light switch lol.

 

Fights are good, I feel, until they've begin to make you lose your sanity - then their bad.

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I don't think you can ever get everything you want in an SO so you take the good with the bad. She is jealous of these girls which is more about her own issues rather than about you. YOU know you would never cheat but she doesn't. I would just cool it with the other girls unless you refuse to give in on that point. I am sure she has good points too or you wouldn't be with her this long. In tough times you have to remember her good points. If there are none or only a few, then maybe it would be best to end it but only you know that for sure.

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Its just her insecurities, coming through..again. This is her problem to deal with. And really, how can she deal with it? Her jealousy is trust based. Trust is such a huge compoement of a relationship, wihtout it..or very little..the cracks will show, and you will become exhaust trying to be the best you can be and more, and yet still won't ever be good enough because the problem is with herself, not you.

 

Her insecurity, paired up with a new long distance component, is making it worse. Having strength, security and trust, are essential for a successful healthy relationship. It doesn't feel healthy because you are missing key components, and always have from the start.

 

Its just a matter of how much you are willoing to exhaust yourself to be perfect constnatly for a girl who won't ever be content with your efforts because she has no trust.

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