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Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired


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Do you remember the first time you saw them? Can you remember the way you felt when they looked at you for the very first time and smiled? Think back to the times when you couldn’t wait to see them again.



Can you remember all the time you spent planning your limited time together and how you took pride in not only the way you looked but what you did? The sun shined a bit brighter. The moon was a bit more blue than it has ever been and the very stars in the heavens were there for you and only you to make a wish but this time you didn’t have to because it had already come true.



Love is the most natural high the mind, body and spirit can experience. Like a drug, we crave the way it makes us feel not only for the extraordinary emotion we feel but for the fact that we are loved right back. There is nothing in the world that can compare to it. Men and women have died in vain because of their forbidden love. The history books and literature throughout the globe are filled with love stories unparalleled with any work of fiction. There are no characters, only people who have felt the same thing you have including heartbreak and the feeling of emotional misery when it is not only taken away but stripped from their very lives never to see their lover again.



Poetry, music and artwork are filled with its beauty. “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” Famous epic battles have been fought in the name of love and glory. Men have sailed the seven seas to conquer those that oppose their queens and mother’s of their homeland in the name of love. Like the old expression says:


"Love conquers all…"



When you look at love in a historical aspect, it really puts not only your current situation in a different light, but it also helps you to realize that your heartache is probably the same as someone else thousand’s of centuries old though the situation and circumstances are different. Do you think the mistakes you might have made have not been made by so many throughout history? Are you an exception? With a heavy sigh, I proclaim “No at all.” Sure you are special, but you are not an exception even though you might feel so alone in your heartache that you choose to draw inward and not let anyone in.



Think of it this way, I bet there have been many that have shown up at someone’s castle or plantation under the cover of night and threw a pebble at the window to get the attention of a lover…just to say “I love you so much…I had to see you.” DO you really think your situation is new? Do you feel all alone in your quest for getting your ex back? Not even close. There have been those that love and lost and there have been those that never loved…which would you want to be?



We learn from our mistakes but the key is to remember what those mistakes were. How do we know what was a mistake or not? How do you know that by doing nothing that your ex isn’t at home praying that you show up and wrap your arms around them, look them in the eyes and say “I was a fool. I am not half the man/woman I am when I am with you.” It sounds so perfect. We see the movies. We read the books. We hear stories all over the Internet on “How to get your ex back.” The secret is only $29.95 with no money back guarantee. I love the one that says “Have you ex back in 3 days or less” for $49.99. I assume this is a book about kidnapping because let’s face it; it’s not going to happen.



All good things take time. Like I have always said, imagine your love between you and your ex like a gourmet meal. I don’t want a microwave love affair. Who really craves the instant meal that all we have to do is add hot water. I want something that blossoms and takes time to prepare so that we can both enjoy it in the future; like a fine wine.

The secrets of love have been the same for centuries and that secret is this.



"If someone doesn’t love you, no matter how hard you try to make them love you, it will almost always fail because you can't MAKE someone love you.”



To all my seasoned veterans out there, you know exactly what I am talking about. Years ago, when I wanted to catch the eye of a certain beauty, I would do anything I was good at. It could be my sense of humor or even singing her a song. When all else failed, I figured “YOU MUST TRY HARDER!!”. Oh the pain, suffering and humiliation I could have saved throughout the years. Men tend to have a competitive streak in them and when all else fails, be the exception.



To my male audience out there, can’t you remember the times you would tell yourself, “I just have to try harder and stick this out. She will come around.” Every little glance my love interest would show me I thought it was only for me. No matter if they looked at me and was thinking of someone else, I WANTED IT so BADLY to be for me. I would try so hard that finally I was so aggravated, not at them, but at myself that I usually ended up being their “Best Guy Friend”. Ahhhh those were the days. Let me tell you, there is nothing harder than loving someone in secret and them confide in you about someone they love. You sit and smile and you look into their eyes as if to scream and wave your arms yelling “HEY!! I AM RIGHT HERE!! I LOVE YOU ….CAN’T YOU SEE ME!!! I LOOOOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH!!”



There is something harder…much, much harder.

To those that have felt this after a relations hip has turned sour, I feel for you. I honestly do.



I felt this over 4 years ago. It goes something like this. How can I describe such pain? Well, let me try. Heartache is one thing but having your heart ripped from your chest and stomped on is another. Naturally after a breakup that was not that bad, one or both parties, with time, might have possible regrets about breaking up. The minutes seem like hours and the hours seem like days. The phone never rings. The more you want the time to pass, the day drags on and the nights are so much worse that I can’t begin to describe it. The walls begin to close in. The thought of yesterday’s hug, a lingering last kiss, their smell in a pillow, their clothes they left, their picture, the songs you hear are always about breaking up or things that remind you of them. I think we all can relate.



The phone finally rings a week later. You jump over the couch like a gazelle and say a mild “Hello..”. ‘Um..Hello Dave? Yeah…Hey, It’s
Oh hey, how are you? Um..I am fine. I have been thinking about you a lot. Really?; So Have I. The smile on your face begins to form because the conversation is going well…so you think. I really miss you
. I miss you too. The conversation falls silent as your heart begins to beat out of your chest. The smile and tense mood begins to loosen.



, I was wondering if you would like to…” but you are cut off to the sound of ’Dave, I wanted to tell you that I am seeing someone else and I thought you should know.’



The wind is knocked not only from your lungs but from your soul.

"Hello…? Hello…are you there….?"



“Yeah I am here…Hey um…look; The tears begin to form before you can get off the phone. “I gotta go ok?...I will talk with you soon.”



“But Dave?....I wanted to
. The phone falls silent as I fell to my knees. There are no words to describe the feelings I had but I can say this. The feeling robbed me of smiling for almost 5 months.



What do you do? What can you do? We all know that begging and pleading DO NOTHING. Showing up at their door and acting a fool doesn’t work. Getting drunk or high is just plain stupid when trying to get an ex back. You might as well say goodbye now because the only thing you will be doing is justifying why they left you in the first place. Life can be so cruel.



What WORKS?!?! This is no secret. This is not some magical formula. This is something that is so insanely easy to comprehend. It’s 100% free and requires no special skill or technique. The secret is time. The time you have while away from your ex is so important. Not to cry and have a bloody fit but you get YOU together.



Think of your life without your ex like getting a jig-saw puzzle and throwing it into the air only to be scattered into a million little pieces. All you have to do is SEPARATE YOUR pieces from theirs. ( Start with the edges..it’s easier ha ha) You are separating a couple to being once again single. I didn’t say it was THAT easy nor did I say you would like it but it is a necessary step in getting YOU back. If you don’t get you back first, there is no way you can get them back regardless of how you left. Once you can piece YOU back together you need to get adapted to your single life.



Letting go of your ex doesn’t mean letting go forever. It hurts ladies and gentlemen. It hurts like hell but it is part of the healing process. You must go thru it to become the man or woman you need to be and always wanted to be. Think of your breakup like a butterfly in its cocoon. You must transform into the person you WANT To be..NOT WHAT YOU THINK THEY WANT YOU TO BE!! HUGE DIFFERENCE. So many people out there believe that losing weight and going to the gym is going to get an ex back. Psssst….let me fill you in on something. ITS NOT!!! Sure you look better but if you were a moron when you broke up and you have not learned from your mistakes…you will be a moron who looks better. Make sense? I hope so.



Let go of the notion that they love you for your weight. It’s only a small part of the entire you. Work on your heart. If you had issues communicating with your ex, learn from it. Sit down and make a list of the thing you feel YOU need to work on. If you get your ex back in the long run, you will not only be better off, but they will notice the change in you and it will only make you look GLOWINGLY better in their eyes.





People change ONLY BECAUSE THEY WANT OR HAVE TO CHANGE..not because you want them to.



If you work on the issues you had while in the relationship and start to learn from your mistakes, the chances are you may get a phone call down the line and get that chance you have been hoping for. Don’t wait too long. Learn that life is to be enjoyed. Breaking up is hard but learning from a breakup can be so rewarding in the end. Just think, even if they don’t come back…look at the person you have become not only for them but for yourself.



Learn to love them even if they aren’t with you anymore. They will always be in your heart and just know that part of them made you want to become the person you have always wanted to be.



If that is not love…I don’t know what is.




Take care and God Bless…





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I can't tell you how much I look forward to reading your posts. Everything you say makes perfect sense. It's just getting my heart to go along with it You have been a Godsend on here for the people that have been hurting. I have been hurting one way or another for about 3 years and I am fed up with it. Please if there is anything you do, continue to provide the experience and wisdom that you hold for all of us.


Once again thank you,



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  • 10 months later...
  • 1 month later...

every time i feel sad i read ur posts


i agree with each one of them.. i can also say for the first time im using what i learned in the past with m current x


it was hard .. as soon as we broke up i went NC completely.. broke it a week and a half after but i didnt text to get him back i just missed hi so much i wanted to see if he did to.. it as weird.. plus i was drunk.. didnt end good, so i went back to NC and apologized for offending him or hurting his own pride through a text.. havent talked to him since then


i remember thinking all this that you say here at the beginning of the break up with him and remembered how a year ago i broke up with my "first" love and it was soo tough specially bc i couldnt hold to the NC, and it made me ot let go of him and move on.... this guy is different i feel like u said jsut bc im letting go doesnt mean i stopped loving him.. its more like i love u but i love myself more kind of deal.. so although i swear i miss him like crazyyyyy im glad i can control myself and put myself first and just focus on bettering my ownself (we broke up bc i bascialy didnt have a life and all i had was him bc i ws new in town and never had the chance to meet any friends) bc i mean no one can love u if u dont love urself...


i hope he comes back.. but i also hope when he does ti will be good, not bad u know, like by then we both we will be better people and timing will be better.. his amazing regardles of how we broke up i dotn know if hes the one, i jsut know that he COULD be.. (never felt like this before)... if he doesnt come back i know i will be good bc like i said i am moving on and im having the most fun i can.. so yeah NC is a win win for me... lol he might not ever wanna see me again b/c his super scared of me too


i am k with the break up, i mean regardles of me missing him.. im not in pain anymore, and yeah sometiems i do feel sad but i dont let my sadness take over me bc i know i been here before and i survived, so this wont be any exception .. i also dont think about "what is he doing" ,"is he with someone else" "does he miss me".. i try to see the actions and not assume anything... lol i also know im worth gold, and finding women likeme is very rare, soif he does have someone, good luck bc finding someone worth having takes time u cant jsut find them around the corner (exceptions do happen though).. and rebounds dont work.. also i dont worry about what his thinking bc his not bf anymore, IM SINGLE for a reason and single means all that matters is ME ME and ME no one else


anyways ur very wise and i wish everynoe could see all this and truly understand it


thank u superdave

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  • 5 years later...

My situation is very similar to yours..


Sadly I think I made too many mistakes early on before I went no contact and I don't think she even misses me


But I will still keep a small amount of hope in my heart. Real Love is worth waiting for even if it takes years. I will have to learn and move on obviously as the chances are very slim. But I will keep the embers of my love for her in my heart hidden away ready to reignite if the time ever comes.

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