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roommate USED to be my friend :(


lycopodium

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Last year I agreed to rent a 2BR apartment with someone I knew and who I thought was a friend. This is the second semester I've been living with her and it's getting to me. The problem is that this person and I are in the same major, so I see her in all of my classes and sit by her too b/c I don't have anyone else to sit by who I feel comfortable around. I used to hang out with her and some other people who we both knew through our major and classes we were in. For the last year my roommate and this circle of people have been doing things outside of class and not inviting me. It REALLY sucks because they will come over to the apartment before a party to get ready and then it's even more obvious that I'm not included. When I'm around them they talk about the cool things they did at all the things I wasn't included in. I feel really crappy whenever I'm around them because I feel like I am somehow deficient and not good enough for them. I really feel like I am done with these people and I really don't want anything to do with them.

 

Other than not being included in what they do, I am getting annoyed by my roommate. Any time I want to talk to her about something she feels the need to tell me what she thinks I SHOULD do. I'm tired of her telling me what to do. I feel angry when she assumes she knows what's best for me and I feel insulted when she criticizes me. We have opposite personalities. I am shy and she's extremely outgoing. I procrastinate on my homework assignments and she has to do everything early. I like to sleep in and she gets up at 5:30am. I let dishes accumulate a little and she has to do them as they get dirty. I'm not religious and she is very religious. I really don't like my major, but it's too late to change it. She loves her major choice. I like to argue and use logic and she gets emotional quickly without thinking things through.

 

So, the problem is that even though I want nothing to do with these people I have to see them ALL THE TIME. I am having an EXTREMELY hard time acting civil around these people. I cannot fully avoid them and I really don't want to be rude. Other then not including me in things, they haven't been mean to me. I have a REALLY hard time making friends and now when I thought I had found people to be friends with it turns out I was wrong. It really hurts me that things turned out this way. I guess I need to move on, but it's really hard.

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I am so sorry to hear about this, when is your lease up? can you move? can you talk to any of these "friend" and see if its possible that is all has to do with ONE person that doesn't like you so they are all followers and do the same? trust me if they can't include you, then they are NOT your friends. I know its hard, but almost seems the best thing would be for your to move out.

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I graduate the same time that my roommate does (December 2010). She said that she wants to stay here until then. The lease is up in May I think, so we'd have to sign another one before then. I pay half of the rent and I would feel bad moving out and leaving her with double the rent payment. I guess she could find someone to take my room, but there's no guarantee. I don't think she knows I have problems with her and if I moved I'm afraid she'd get angry with me. I can't avoid her b/c we have almost all the same classes!

 

Besides feeling bad about moving out, it's really hard to find somewhere decent to live here that I can afford. I guess it might be possible, but from past experience it is really hard.

 

As far as the one friend thing goes, there is one girl (I'll call her M) that I really don't like. My roommate is like BFF with M now.

 

Part of the problem is that their circle of friends is very involved with a certain club at our school that I used to be part of and quit. My roommate is the VP and M is the Pres of the club. We're all in the same major. They are all really into their areas of study. I don't think I picked the right major and I'm not happy, but I have 1 semester left and I just want to get it over with. So, I have a hard time thinking of anything to say around them. I'm not comfortable with them and we don't seem to have as much in common now that I'm not in the club and now that I'm unsure about my major.

 

So yeah, I guess I could try to move out after this semester. For now I guess I just feel really hurt and it's SO hard to be around them in all of my classes. I don't want to get hung up on this. I think if I had my own separate life I wouldn't be so bothered by this so much. As it is I don't really do anything other than go to class. I don't have people to hang out with. I feel like I'm still trying to find out who I am and what I like, which is what I think most people did in high school.

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