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Saying NO...


Dashottcalla

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Ok, I've heard that in relationships, more particularly when it comes to men, that if you appease or cater to your SO's every wish that they will lose interest and start to lose respect for you.

 

I wanted to know if this was true and if there are any positives in saying "NO" more often in a relationship.

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You answered your own question - they keep interest and respect for you? I think it's true. I mean, don't get in a habit of saying no to everything. If your girlfriend is on fire and asks you to get the extinguisher, I'd hope you say yes.

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You say no when you don't want to do something, or have a need not to do it, and that want or need outweighs the want or need that your partner has for you to do it. That requires having the self-confidence to judge that balance correctly and neither be over-obliging or uncooperative. This relates to interaction with everyone in your life not just an SO.

 

But to artificially say 'no' in order to play some sort of relationship game is unwise and will lead down a mostly destructive path.

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I believe its true. I think from teh start i have tried to do everything I can for my partner. They way he treats me now, he may as well spit on me.

 

I would always go out of my way, once he was apprechiative of what I was doing now he just expects it

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I think the best bet is to be honest:

 

If you want to do something for someone or wouldn't mind doing something for them...say yes.

 

If you don't want to do something or really just don't feel like it...say no.

 

Don't change your perspective on something SOLELY to appease another person.

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