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confused and close to the end


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I dated the same guy exclusively for 2 years. We had a normal dating relationship. We had times where we would argue, but there was never a problem that wasn't solved in a matter of minutes. He would have done anything for me, and proved it time and time again. He was protective, but not over protective. I tried my best to love him as much as I could.

A few months ago, I got scared about marriage and the future, and I broke things off with him. I spent everyday apart from him thinking about him and deciding whether or not I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I decided that I did. I realized how much I loved him. I was ready to get married and start a life with him.

I left to go on a vacation to see my mom a few weeks after we got back together. He was supposed to join me, but couldn't because of conflicts at work. Before I left, he cried in my arms, afraid I wouldn't come home from vacation. We both spent every moment away from each other wishing we were spending time together. I had a dream, and that is when everything changed. I dreamed that he broke up with me. I told him about the dream, and he then proceeded to tell me that he really did.

Three weeks later, I am sitting here trying to figure out what happened because he's now dating someone else. I am depressed beyond belief to myself and to everyone around me. I can't concentrate, eat, or sleep. I have no clue what to do. He said, that he still loves me and he is dating her to find out if we were really meant to be. But, I can't believe that he still loves me when he is intimate with another person. What do I do? What happens next? I can't get by anymore alone, but I certainly cannot move on. Please, someone help me. I am nearing the end of my rope and I am ready to fall.

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Remember that this man was attracted to you in the first place. Use this confidence to boost your self - esteem. Yes, you can tell him how you feel but remember that a man is not attracted to a depressed and needy woman - so hide your hurting side for now. He may be intimate with another woman - but when men are hurting they easily look for a physical relationship. That relationship in no way means that he has strong emotional feelings for this other person. Show him what he is missing -- you. Show him your best side (the side he fell in love with) while still remaining open to getting back together with him. Also, be genuinely able to forgive and move on -- don't secretly harbor your resentment towards this other person.

Whatever you do - don't give up (on yourself). He has a long way to go with this new person -- you still hold a lot of fond memories to him --- and he may return to that.

Don't blame yourself for taking a breather and thinking about marriage -- it can be scary!! In a sense he is doing the same thing..... he thinks that is only fair (he is just doing it another way.)

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