Is there something more there than just friendship?

[nutterthananut]

Well, I'm only in the ninth grade, but this is something that a lot of my friends have different opinions on. I have this friend (let's call him X) that I have been friends with since sixth grade. He is my best guy friend, also. Now, he's not a real outgoing person, and he definitly doesn't have a lot of friends. I'm not putting X down or anything, but it's the truth. Now I'm the type of person who can get along with most anybody, but only have like 20 close friends. We both get along with each other very well. Now, I shall explain my situation!

I guess you could say it all started this year. At the beginning of the school year, things were pretty much normal (as normal as it could be for X and I). We would look at each other in Science class and just connect. We'd smile or something like that. Well, a few months into the school year, I occasionally would catch him just staring at me. It would take a minute or so for me to get him back to Earth, but it was very weird. Well, we used to have Band class together, and when we had free-time, I would go through his back pack while he was talking to me. He didn't mind, it was pretty normal for us (I wasn't looking for anything or snooping, just trying to find out what he was good at. I found out he was an excellant artist!). Well, one time I found a notebook and it had a note to me and it just said little stuff like "what's up" and "did you hear about...?". But, at the end, X wrote in the note "the drawing on the back of this paper is supposed to be you." It was very good! She was very pretty, for a cartoon. That didn't really strike a large note with me, but it kind of got me thinking about X and I.

Well, that was only the beginning. We started writing notes back and forth to each other and everything, even though we saw each other between almost every class! Being a girl, I would write "Love from" at the end of my notes, kind of like Hermione Granger (one of my nicknames. His was Ron.). Well, that was just a small part of our friendship. When the last dance came up in January, X and I planned to meet there as friends. As all the slow songs played, we would stand there like weirdos while the rest of our friends paired off with each other. Well, he didn't ONCE ask a girl to dance, even though his other girl friends were there. BUT!!! when his favorite song came on, "Drops of Jupiter", he kind of grabbed me and said "let's dance!" I was just excited to be dancing with such a great friend! We even talked normally while dancing. When the song was over, I got him to dance in large groups with our mutual girlfriends (even when he said at the beginning of the dance that he wasn't going to.). That was a great night.

Well, lately X and I have been writing notes back and forth again, and we are fake dating. We don't go anywhere, but it's funny! We just act like friends. At the end of our notes, we put "Luv ya lots!" and he puts a real emphasis on lots. It makes me feel so special! He also compliments me on my melodic voice because he heard me sing one time, and he believes in me. See, now you can probably see my delimma. My other guy friends say X is just a friend, but some of them say that he may be interested. My girl friends say that he may be in deep love with me, but I say whatever to that. I don't believe in love at this age. I will, but not quite yet! What I really need to know is if he likes me for more than a friend, or is this normal friend behavior? It doesn't matter to me either way, because we'll still stay friends, but I'd sure like to know! Please help me. It's not a dire need, I would just like to know! Thanks!

[Dazed Confused]

I would have a hard time believing that he doesn't have feelings for you. Admitting that might be difficult for him, especially if he believes that you only consider him to be a friend. If he admits how he really feels and you don't feel the same, he knows that things might not ever be the same. If you have have feelings for him, I say go with your instincts and tell him. Just remember that good friends don't always make good girlfriends/boyfriends.

 

This reminds me of the movie Pretty in Pink with Molly Ringwald. You should go rent that and watch it with your friend.

 

Best of luck to you!

[jujigatame]

He may or may not have feelings for you. Either way, you don't believe in love at your age anyway, right? So why feel any pressure to find out? Trust me, the desire to find love will hit you one day. If you feel like you want to get closer to him, you'll do it when the time is right. Until then, enjoy the friendship! Honestly, relationships are overrated - especially during high school. If you have a close friend of the opposite sex, that's great. Enjoy it!

[TheMailMan]

I would say the "X" sounds like the kind of person who wouldnt try to go for some other girl on his own... It sounds like he needs a girl to kind of come get him first... I would say that he is crushing on you... and it sounds like you two are clicking really well... HAVE FUN!!!

[cookies]

i agree with all of the above. Sounds as if he may like u to me, and viceversa. If the friendship is going well, and feelings are beginning to develop,...just let things continue to grow as they are. Sooner or later, he will become comfortable enough with himself enough to let u know how much he cares, if he grows to love you. Sounds like ur off to a really great start...but i must agree,...the development of such bond between friends always plays an important part...

 

relax and enjoy urself with him...

 

but trust me, i know that feeling to well. I always find it difficult to know if someone likes me, if they dont "tell" me...especially if i´m attracted to him and want a deeper level of friendship...but with guys that i dont find attractive...they go out of the way to call and almost push themselves on me by hinting around that they are "the ONE for me"...until i become frustrated and feel pressured...

 

 

ill never understand that...

 

 

 

 

cookies