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Is it fair to leave him?

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I'm (just about) in an 8 year relationship. For the last couple of years me and the bf have had very little sex but I fool around a little in the dunes (beach) here once every couple of months as I knew he did too - well thought he did too.


He's recently confessed that he does almost every week. He's also told me that for the second year of our relationship, when we lived in London, he went to the sauna almost every week and did everything there you could imagine, sometimes staying long enough to be with 3 different people in an afternoon. (Always using a condom and we have both recently tested negative).


We left London and since then he's just had the dunes really but has also been to the saunas here on occasion, dark rooms, in the street outside bars at closing and once in the loo whilst he was out with me! He lied to get me to pick him up the last time he went to the sauna.


We went on holiday to Madrid 2 weeks ago and on day 2 he went to the sauna thinking he could get away with it but didn't, hence the confession.


Basically, I hate him at the moment but I know he loves me and he says he wants to change (don't believe him too much on that one though) and wants to work things out with me so we can stay together. On the one hand, I believe he loves me and I still love him, I fooled around a little too though doing nothing as intimate as he has been.


After 8 years it's hard to say goodbye but after all the lies and cheating and the fact I know now why we didn't/don't have enough sex, I want nothing else to do with him, move out and start again. Am I wrong to do that?

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Bottom line - do both yourselves a favor and put an end to this relationship. You two are only hurting each other by dragging out this mess. To be quite blunt, neither one of you can love each other in the way you claim if both of you have been cheating... regardless if it was one time or a hundred, as well as whether it was in the dunes or sauna. It's best if you make a clean break and move on with your life.


Hope this helps. Good luck.

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