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Pouring Out My Heart to Strangers.................


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I know this is my first post on this fourm so please be kind =}

 

I apologize for the length on this and the detail but I want the person whom replys to this to know the full story.

 

I am a 28 year old guy with a 9 year old son. My sons mother an me have been split for over 5 years now and that releationship is long dead but we deal with each other for our son.I still live with my parents my son has my old room and I live in the basement. I live here because I cannot afford to live somewhere else and I can have some stability for my son here. My sons school is through my home address and not his mothers because she lives in the city. A year ago I met a girl with two daughters of her own. It was so nice to find someone that would understand that I have to think about someone else also other than her 120 percent. When I met her I was unemployed from my Local Electrical union. I also smoke cigs and weed. She knew from day one that I smoked. Out of respect I never blatenly smoked in front of her or bring weed anywhere around her prescence. For the first few months things were fine but everyday hearing about the smell of smoke and the hummin and hawin was growin thin for her and me. I went back to work for a couple months working over an hour away from where I live after 4 months and two speeding ticets later I totalled my car driving home from work. I was out of work a month because I messed up my knee. Then went back to work for another month and got laid off again. During the time when I was working my girlfriend and me worked on a relationship together. She is still married but is separated with her girls father. But they live 10 minutes from each other and have a good relationship still. I felt like I was gettin closer to her and I think the same was for her but my issues were holding her back. When I met her she was living in a condo and after 5 months she decided to buy a house. After she moves into the house she gave me a set of keys. It took a couple of months before we mixed and mingles our kids together because we didnt want to have to add stress to our kids lives. After she gets into the house she starts talking about growing and moving in...... Now if I move in I will not be able to change my sons address to where she lives because my sons mother will not allow it even though it would be a better school district for him and the place we would be moving to would be closer to my sons mother. So I feel like im held back to here for that. But I would LOVE to be at my girlfriends house. Now my girlfriend is pushing the growing and moving in thing and I am still unemployed with no sign of relief..... I could go out of town to work but I would be leaving my son and my relationship with my girlfriend would be even more strained. This girl that I am dating like to go out places and go out to eat In the past year we have taken two trips to niagra falls and stayed at the hilton gone skating alot movies and we just went on a cruise ( Which Was The End Of Our Relationship) And I am just spending more cash than I am bringin in. So I have Stess hittin me from all angles My kid, movin in and talkin up half the bills at her house, the crap about smokin, sittin around wastin away smokin weed wating for the dam union hall to call me for a job.... So i bottle all the stress and dont tell her im sinking like a lead weight and go on like everything is fine.... On the cruise we fought like no other and i pissed away the vacation and when we got off the plane at home we split. I think our relationship was doomed from the start and I was blind to think it would have worked. I know if I stopped smoking she would be happy with me because she tells me that It mostly upsets her that I choose to do that over her and i have money to waste on that and dont have any to move in there and help. I know that is true but I dunno if it is right to even be in that position of moving in at this time. All I ask her for is a little time but she wants it all now. And even if i did stop the smokin the added money wouldnt be enough to pull my weight there. So From all the analizing of my life I think that I am screwed and I have to let her go and it is killing me. I care for her very much and on the cruise I said alot of things I wish I could take back but I cannot. The only thing I can see is we need to split and I need to change my ways. But I do not want to loose her in my life. It will kill me if she meets another and that person would take on all she wants and she is happy. I would love no other for it to be me that would make her dreams true. I am absolutly runnin circles in my mind

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It sounds like you need to get control over your own life before you can add yet another stress factor (i.e. a girlfriend) to the mix. You need to be secure in terms of a steady job, a steady income, and a steady sense of heading in life. You may or may not get this woman back. That's something you'll have to figure out for yourself. But I strongly advise getting yourself into a position you can fight from, because right now you have no base to work off of.

 

Learn to be a happily independent, self-sufficient man. Then, and only then, will you be able to get the most from love.

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Hi 808,

 

Welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for sharing your comments, remarks and questions.

 

I would like to show you a success story. I am 30 years old, going on to 31 and I have always thought to set up my life as in career and all first, before I get myself hooked up. This happened after having a girlfriend for some time, who broke up with me, because I didn't spend enough time with her.

 

I can tell you this: I am settled now ... even financially and ... I am BACK!! Stronger than ever. Why? Because now I can focus myself entirely on dating, without having any stress over job or finances. Try it!! It works

 

Good luck!!

 

~ SwingFox ~

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