Jump to content



Recommended Posts

Ok guys, i hope you can get you head around this because i cant.But before i go any further let me tell you a little about myself first.I'm 27 and VERY shy,the shyest of shy. I keep asking myself why im so shy but evry time i ask myself why,i come up with a different answear.I've been shy all my life but it never really bothered me up until i met this girl at work.I fell for her in a BIG way so i thought i would try to talk to her and try to get to know her but thats when i realised just how shy i am.Every time i tryed to say HI i froze and nothing would come out.This went on for weaks and months,it was so frustrateing and anoying.Again i kept asking myself why im so shy.So i decided to just tell one of her friends about how i liked her.After weaks of looking at each other accross a crowded factory i was told that she was interested and would go out on a date if i asked her but it's not the asking her out thats the problem it's the date itself,will i be funny enough,interesting enough and so on.I just couldn'd do it.This went on for 3 years until in the end i'd left it too long and she ended up meeting some guy.I was devastated and was very angry with myself for taking too long to ask her out,i heted myself for being shy.So anyway i knew i had to forget about her and move on but i stil catch her gazeing at me all the time.She's now been dateing this guy for 2 and half yrs,lives with him and has just got engaged but still she keeps looking at me and she also go's out of her way to come over to were i am sat to do what not as if she wants to be around me as if she wants me to talk to her.She pays me compoments,touches me, gazes at me,talks about me.All the signs are there.Idont want any of you guys to tell me to forget obout her or tell me to just go for it and confront her about this.Just tell me why you think she is doing this.The most obviouse reason i think is that she likes me but i want to know if there any other reasons...........thanks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I believe that it's VERY safe to say that she does have interest in you. Her being with her boyfriend doesn't really need to mean that she doesn't have interest in you. Love can change and shifts. She also could have found out that her current b/f is dull and boring, too. I can't tell, because I am not aware of the situation.


The real question here is: what are you gonna do about it? It might be a good idea to start talking to her. If you would like to have some tips and tricks there, I would like to invite you to our articles about conversational tips and tricks, there's plenty of ideas there what to talk about and how to start conversation.


When you start to talk to her. Take a very deep breath through your nose first and let the air go very slowly through your mouth. That will put you at ease some. While talking to her, stop thinking in terms of dating her or having a relationship with her. This is called "thinking too much in the future". Start to think of the present and focus on what you have and do now, which is just talking.

Link to comment
Share on other sites



This is hard. It's not that you don't have a chance with her - much to the contrary, she's giving you every sign she wants you - it's that you need to act fast. Somehow, you're going to HAVE to beat your shyness.


You and she were exchanging glances for three years, and you never made a move. She knows you're shy. It's quite possible that she finds it attractive! I know I like girls who are a little shy around me. You're right, though; the level of shyness you exhibit is crippling. It must be incredibly frustrating. You have to beat it somehow.


Get in a position where you can talk to her, and just shoot from the hip. Say you like her haircut, her voice, whatever. If a garble comes out, just laugh nervously, say you're so shy, and try again. Honestly, girls know how hard it is to make the approach, and they . The first conversation will be really, really hard, even if it lasts all of two sentences. But from then on, you'll find it gets easier and easier.


Here's another idea: Go on a "practice date" with a female friend, or even a male friend! Just make sure she doesn't find out about it, or else she'll think you're taken, or maybe gay!


Finally, you can always seek therapy. It would be a good idea, considering the scope of your problem. Otherwise, you're going to have to do one of two things:


A. Get to the root issue(s) behind your shyness by yourself, through introspection and talking with friends about how they perceive you.




B. Continue being shy and just plow on through it by sheer determination and animal magnetism (you big stud!)


Subscribing to B would be my personal choice. Like you, I used to be very shy and reserved. I also had the tendency to sit on my a$$ and think about my problems. On my desk next to me is a mountain of scratch paper with half-finished outlines for self-improvement plans I've never started. Lately, though, I've accepted the fact that for all my tangled thoughts, hard work is the only way to get what you want. Miracles don't come from God. They come from human perseverance and raw determination in the face of unimaginable adversity. It's your job to make a miracle happen in your own life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One other thing.A couple of weaks ago it was my birthday and she asked me if i went out(to the local night club).I told her i did but i was disappointed because i was expecting all my mates to come out but they couldn't because they were working the next day and that i will be going out next saterday to celebrate properly instead.That saterday i was at the bar and when i turned to go sit down she was there with her friends looking right at me and then give me a big smile .It ended up being a good night because she aproched me and we got chatting and then her friends would come and talk to me too.And also i noteced her talking to her friends about me,saying good things about me i hope.But the following saterday i went to this club and again she was there with her friends but this time she was with her boyfriend.I noteced her friends looking over at me all the time but when i'd walk past Mandy,(this girl i like)just to give her a friendly smile and a hello,she wouldn't even look at me.....AARGHHhhhh....lol........whats going on???????????

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...