Jump to content

Ladies: When your b/f isn't sexually forward, does it make you want it more?


Double J

Recommended Posts

There's that famous saying we're all familiar with: "You always want what you can't have."

 

I think that could also apply to sex, but I wanted to get your feedback.

 

My g/f and I have been experiencing a major drought in the love-making department of late. We think it relates to the birth control pills she's taking, but that's another story altogether.

 

I don't doubt that she's picked up on my sexual frustration, and it's no surprise I have probably become a lot pushier than I was when her drive was sky high eons ago.

 

Here are some questions for the ladies (guys who can relate to my situation can chime in as well):

 

Do you feel more interested in having sex when you see that your b/f or husband is not pushing you to do it with him? In other words, when he seems "too busy" and doesn't even bring up sex for a prolonged period of time, does it make you more interested in jumping his bones?

 

Does his being sexually aloof make you want it more because you have to work harder to get it? Conversely, does his being on your tail to do it cause you to be even less interested in sex?

 

I'm trying to figure out ways to spice things up, and maybe her expectation that I always want to do it is serving as a major roadblock.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When you say her lack of interest in sex may be due to the birth control pills she's taking, you may well be right. If you are, far from being another story altogether, it's absolutely central to the situation you find yourself in.

 

Pulling away sexually is more likely to make her think you don't care about her any more than to make her keener. If her lack of interest is due to her pills, then being sexually aloof on your part will kill any sex life you have - stone dead. You're probably right about not being pushy sexually; it might help if you concentrated on tenderness and sensuality rather than 'jumping bones'!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It makes me feel rejected and unwanted. I don't like it when guys aren't into sex as much as I am. It'd be a huge turnoff and make me question the entire relationship if they constantly turned me down.

 

agreed.

 

if a guy isn't into the sex, then i'm not into the relationship. If i'm with someone, i'm into the sex.

 

so, if a guy was trying to make me 'work hard to get it" i'd just think he was being a jerk.

 

Still, it sounds like you are doing a bit of game playing here...like you are trying to think of strateies to get her to sleep with you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It makes me feel rejected and unwanted. I don't like it when guys aren't into sex as much as I am. It'd be a huge turnoff and make me question the entire relationship if they constantly turned me down.

 

I agree with that as well.

 

On another note sounds like she feels pressure right? What about taking sex out of the equasion and having a fun day at the fair for example. Or go bowling, skating, swimming in a pool. Basically change things a bit so you can bond in other ways. If the birth control pill is the only problem she could leave it and you guys can use condoms.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, she should talk to her doctor and get switched to a different kind.

 

Be aware though that some women use various things like this as an excuse to avoid sex if they are angry at you, feeling unloved, etc.

 

So you might ask her what's wrong, turn on the romance a little with her rather than just sexual advances. Do some special things for her unasked, like some house work or other things she has asked you to do but you haven't.

 

There's an old joke that says the sexiest man alive is one holding a broom and a vaccuum cleaner! Start helping her out more, and pamper her a little and you might be surprised at the response!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Birth control messed up my drive.

And for me, when he backed off it was more like "Finally!" as opposed to "I want to jump his bones.."

 

If its hormone related, and she's feeling pressured but isn't interested in sex..you backing off may actually be welcomed by her!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It makes me feel rejected and unwanted. I don't like it when guys aren't into sex as much as I am. It'd be a huge turnoff and make me question the entire relationship if they constantly turned me down.

 

I felt the same way with another guy I dated. I have to have a partner who can meet with my sexual needs or the relationship isn't going to work out. Sex is THAT important to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sexual Health | 10 Foods To Boost L...
Sexual Health | 10 Foods To Boost Low Sex Drive

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...