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The Definition of Creepiness - what is it?


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It is strange to hear women refer to a guy as creepy. It seems as if there is no guy who is unanimously creepy. There are guys who hit on girls young enough to be their daughters in crude ways(one aspect of creepiness) and yet the same guys have had lots of success with women. So despite their creepiness, many women have obviously seen some merit in them. So what is creepy then?

 

Then obviously we have the jock type of characters who get the cream of the crop among the girls. Some of these guys are also very crude in their tactics. But it works.

 

So what is it? How come such pathetic guys get women when the others are not so lucky? Isn't it weird?

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So what is it? How come such pathetic guys get women when the others are not so lucky? Isn't it weird?

 

 

No it is not strange in the slightest. In fact I would be surprised if that wasn't the case. Any guy who continually hit on girls outside of his league will undoubtedly get more girls than other guys who are actually in that higher league, especially if said guys are willing to accept failure and continue to hit on other girls. Having the ability to try new things, go against the grain of society, and playing the numbers game will logically lead to success above others who are not willing to do the same.

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No it is not strange in the slightest. In fact I would be surprised if that wasn't the case. Any guy who continually hit on girls outside of his league will undoubtedly get more girls than other guys who are actually in that higher league, especially if said guys are willing to accept failure and continue to hit on other girls. Having the ability to try new things, go against the grain of society, and playing the numbers game will logically lead to success above others who are not willing to do the same.

 

Remember I said "in crude ways". That is what makes it creepy.

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List of things that I define as creepy-

 

- Men who have hit on me when it's completely inappropriate (e.g. boss, teacher, landlord)

- Attraction to children or animals.

- Weird sex fetishes

- Spends too much time in strip clubs or seedy pubs/bars

- Men who stand around staring at me or follow me around without saying anything

- Flashers & rapists

- Men who want to wear my clothing & underwear

- Religious fanatics

- A sinister sounding laugh

 

But my definition of creepy could be someone else's definition of amazing.

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I think that a main component to creepiness is an unwillingness or inability to detect (subtle) cues from others, indicating that you are violating their personal boundaries.

 

Some people don't care, and some people doesn't have the social skills to interpretate the relationship between their behaviour and other peoples reactions to them.

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Creepy is continously hitting on you when they know your not interested, groping you, making gross comments etc.

 

And yet these guys aren't exactly virgins. Most of these guys have had good experience with women. I mean, LOL, the virgins won't have the guts to pursue a woman like that anyway. So obviously their "creepiness" was attractive to some women too. So the definition isn't consistent. It varies from one woman to the other, I guess.

 

- Men who have hit on me when it's completely inappropriate (e.g. boss, teacher, landlord)

- Attraction to children or animals.

- Weird sex fetishes

- Spends too much time in strip clubs or seedy pubs/bars

- Men who stand around staring at me or follow me around without saying anything

- Flashers & rapists

- Men who want to wear my clothing & underwear

- Religious fanatics

- A sinister sounding laugh

 

Wow some of these points are strange. Crossdressers are not exactly weird. A sinister sounding laugh? Haha I do admit the creepiness definition varies from person to person. To each his own.

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When older guys hit on young girls, it can be perceived as 'creepy' because it is too close to the incest taboo. They see an older guy and think he's old enough to be their father, and it weirds them out.

 

And honestly, the only older guys i've seen be successful with younger women are ones who have lots of money/power. The young girls who do accept them are after the money/social position more than them, so they get a girl, but most likely a girl who either is after his money/power, or a girl who has daddy issues. There are cases of true love between older and younger people, but most of large age gaps are not directly related to 'love'.

 

You also enter 'creepy' territory with a woman when you start engaging in what might seem as threatening behavior. So excessive staring, strong sexual references when you don't know the guy that well, all evoke feelings of fear of attack or rape. It's an innate sense a woman has to try to stay safe. So if you are perceived as a stranger, and too aggressive when out of context (i.e., they don't know you well, or the relationship is marked by large age gap, or inappropriate situtation) then you might fall into the creepy category.

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Wow some of these points are strange. Crossdressers are not exactly weird. A sinister sounding laugh? Haha I do admit the creepiness definition varies from person to person. To each his own.

 

I don't have a problem with crossdressers in general. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert is one of my fav. movies. But if I came home to find my boyfriend wearing my dresses and underwear, I would be mighty creeped out.

 

Mild social awkwardness is not much of an issue for me. It's when you get to the extreme levels that it becomes creepy. Like Timebandit said, not picking up on certain cues. If it's clear that I'm not interested, then I don't want to be pursued any further. Some people don't understand that and think it's "playing hard to get." And yes, inappropriate groping would be a big one too. Like the ones that try to touch your boobs or butt in very crowded places *shudder*

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Sometimes I think creepy is thrown around too much. All those examples that dragon lady gave were good ones, but what if he's just not attractive to her? Is he then a creep?

 

Like it's been said, a guy that she finds attractive hits on her, and she finds it flattering. A guy that she finds unattractive hits on her, and she calls him a creep.

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Sometimes I think creepy is thrown around too much. All those examples that dragon lady gave were good ones, but what if he's just not attractive to her? Is he then a creep?

 

Like it's been said, a guy that she finds attractive hits on her, and she finds it flattering. A guy that she finds unattractive hits on her, and she calls him a creep.

 

Appearance doesn't really factor in for me, unless he's old or he looks like he lives in a cardboard box. Most of the creeps I've come accross have been decent to good looking. It's more about the behavior than anything else.

 

Although, I agree that the word is thrown around too readily. It's unfair to the normal guys who just may not be all that good looking.

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Appearance doesn't really factor in for me, unless he's old or he looks like he lives in a cardboard box. Most of the creeps I've come accross have been decent to good looking. It's more about the behavior than anything else.

 

Although, I agree that the word is thrown around too readily. It's unfair to the normal guys who just may not be all that good looking.

 

Exactly! And no, old doesn't count - if you're trying to hit on someone 30-40+ years younger than you - even if there are girls that like that sort of thing - you should be expected to be called a creep.

 

Some guys just need a fashion makeover. When I look at websites like peopleofwalmart, I think "God, how many people just need someone to point them in the right direction?" I know I'm not that bad off, but I am fashionably clueless sometimes. I didn't even know sweaters were out of fashion until someone told me, I had been wearing them to college.

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It's interesting how the word "creepy" is automatically attached to men, as if women are incapable of being "creepy". This smells like good old victim-thinking to me.

 

Oh, it happens to women, too, except they're usually called 'weird' or 'a freak.'

 

I posted in another thread about an example I had with this. There was a girl who was crushing on a guy I know from a class I'm taking, and he didn't find her attractive, so she automatically was 'weird.'

 

Regardless, being called 'creepy,' 'weird,' or 'a freak' shouldn't happen. Whatever happened to just being flattered that someone was interested in you, instead of attacking the person who showed interest?

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There's a world of difference between a creepy guy and a respectful guy. A creepy guy is often much older, drunk/on drugs, and completely disrespectful to the women he comments on. He leers at you openly, sometimes even drooling, and usually makes very sexualized and inappropriate comments. Basically, he's treating you as an object.

 

A guy who approaches you, makes conversation, looks you in the eye (instead of gawking at your boobs), and tries to get to know you as a person will not be confused with a creep.

 

If you don't want to be seen as a creep? Just be respectful. Remember that women are people too, not objects that exist solely for your amusement and pleasure. It's really not that complicated.

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Certainly, there are different definitions and examples of "creepy". I think the one in question here is this:

 

A man who expresses romantic/sexual interest in a woman that doesn't return that romantic/sexual interest is being creepy.

 

I've been thinking about this a bit more and I'd like to get others' opinions. I wonder if the creepiness doesn't come specifically from the expression of interest, but rather an implied expectation the woman must respond to that expression of interest. I wonder if creepiness is related to neediness. If the man doesn't intend or expect the woman to continue interacting with him, is he still creepy? For example, suppose a man approached a woman and gave her a sincere, genuine and thoughtful compliment, then simply wished her well and went on his way. Suppose she didn't find him attractive. Since he wasn't expecting anything from her and didn't make her continue the interaction, is he still creepy? Weird, maybe, but creepy?

 

Any thoughts?

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Certainly, there are different definitions and examples of "creepy". I think the one in question here is this:

 

A man who expresses romantic/sexual interest in a woman that doesn't return that romantic/sexual interest is being creepy.

 

I've had men express an interest in me, who I am not interested in, but I dont view them all as having been creepy guys.

 

It's how he will express that interest, that will either be seen as 'creepy, or not. If he expresses it through 'staring' and the woman has noticed his 'staring'.....it will be seen as 'creepy'. By staring I mean constant staring...not glancing occasionally.

 

But people have different views of creepy....and I guess whatever makes one feel uncomfortable, would be labelled as creepy.

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I've had men express an interest in me, who I am not interested in, but I dont view them all as having been creepy guys.

 

It's how he will express that interest, that will either be seen as 'creepy, or not. If he expresses it through 'staring' and the woman has noticed his 'staring'.....it will be seen as 'creepy'. By staring I mean constant staring...not glancing occasionally.

 

But people have different views of creepy....and I guess whatever makes one feel uncomfortable, would be labelled as creepy.

Yes, creepy is very much tied to discomfort. It seems that many women feel uncomfortable with a man they are not attracted to expressing interest in them. You have a more specific criterion - staring.

 

I'm still wondering if the discomfort associated with creepiness is really a discomfort with neediness.

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I'm still wondering if the discomfort associated with creepiness is really a discomfort with neediness.

 

I think it is more than that; I think it also includes someone not being aware (or not caring about) that they are violating someones personal boundary.

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I think most women will agree. Staring is creepy. I'm not talking about a guy just checking you out...but one who will stare long after being caught doing it. Stalkerish behavior is creepy. If a guy likes me, and seems to know where I am all the time...I question why.

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I think most women will agree. Staring is creepy. I'm not talking about a guy just checking you out...but one who will stare long after being caught doing it. Stalkerish behavior is creepy. If a guy likes me, and seems to know where I am all the time...I question why.

 

What if it was a really good looking guy doing the staring? Would you still find it creepy?

 

There seems to be a double standard. Good looking (to that girl) = they're flattered. Unattractive (to that girl) = creepy.

 

Is this accurate?

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