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First date planning...again


DaXMan

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It's been awhile since I've had a first date. Unfortunately, that's not because I've been in any sort of long-term relationship. Overall, I'm just not that experienced. I have asked for some help when I was set to go on two coffee dates, and the advice was great - next coffee date I go on, I'll be a pro. The bad news was that they both flaked or stood me up, so it never happened. However, I feel this girl will be different and I'm looking forward to the opportunity. Unlike the other instances, this won't be a coffee date. Instead, it'll be a lunch date. Just as casual, but a bit different. As I mentioned, I'm not too experienced. How do I compensate? Good planning and being prepared. That's where I need some help.

 

Here at school, I have some free space in the middle of my day twice a week in between classes. Since I don't have a huge spot of time, maybe an hour or 1:15, I suggested we go to our school's student union to meet up for lunch. I've only met her once - a few weeks ago, in fact - but we kept in touch a little through online means (Facebook mainly). Though we only met once, we clicked very well and things seemed effortless when it came to developing rapport. When I asked her out, she seemed eager about it, much more so that the girls who flaked in the past; she came off as genuine.

 

That's the general background. Now for the list of short questions (in the order they'd come up in):

-Any reason to send some "cocky+funny" text a couple of days before (what would I even say?) I'm not sure if making a date 5 days in advance and then waiting for the day works...or maybe it does.

-There are going to be lines, the place gets crowded at lunch time. Anything to make the lines amusing?

-Any foods I should stay away from? Choices: Pizza, Panda Express, Sandwich, quesadilla, cheesesteak place. I already know I'm drinking water - not soda - because the soda is carbonated and I'll start trying to hold in burps.

-Good topics to talk about? I know some already, but all the suggestions will surely help.

- It's a very casual first date...is this a "go for the kiss" sort of event, or save that for the first REAL date? I know after a coffee date you're probably not going for the kiss right away.

 

Additionally, provided there's time and it's a nice day, we can walk around a little as well. If there's anything I forgot or another plan you have in mind, let me know.

 

Any tips or pointers you have would really be appreciated.

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I think you're thinking about it too much.

 

My current (and first) lovely girlfriend and I met not even a month ago at a music jam session I frequent. We chit-chatted a for a bit, and I got her number before I left. The next day I tracked her down on Facebook, and she seemed excited that I found her. A couple days later, I called her up and asked her out for pizza later in the week. We flirted every day via texting until the date. After the pizza date, which went well, we went over to the jam session (it's a recurring thing, and is in walking distance from the pizza place) and extended the date until 2:00am.

 

At the end of the night, she asked me in a teasing/flirtatious way if I was going to walk her home (I was unsure at this point whether or not she liked me or not), like, "Well, aren't you going to walk me home?" with a grin on her face. The invitation to walk her to her house (which is not far from the venue we were at) was a big clue that she may have liked me. On her doorstep, we hugged and that turned into a long, intimate kiss.

 

Since then, we have gone out a number of times... maybe 7 dates since we first met not even a month ago. The relationship is unfolding naturally. She is beautiful, genuine, sincere, et cetera. The first date conversation was light, focused on personal interests, nothing heavy. It's about getting the vibe from each other. We only started talking about serious topics a couple days ago.

 

Basically, my point is that if she wants to get to know you, everything else is secondary (from my little bit of experience). If she likes YOU, then her concern shouldn't be on where you go, but the fact that she is going to spend some time with you. First dates shouldn't be expensive. I spent $10 between the two of us on the pizza/first date. I wouldn't want to spend more than that on someone I hardly knew, especially being a broke college student.

 

Most importantly, she and I have been ourselves since we said hello. If you are happy with yourself and are yourself around her, then you will learn everything you need to learn by communicating to each other and growing through experience. It also helps to have some female friends that are open to giving you dating advice.

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There is no foolproof answer, though. Everyone is different. A date is just spending some time together, just you and her. Planning too much is going overboard. The most recent planned thing my girl and I did was a sleep over at her house last night. Other than that, it's been on a "Call me and let me know when you want to get together."

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There is no foolproof answer, though. Everyone is different. A date is just spending some time together, just you and her. Planning too much is going overboard. The most recent planned thing my girl and I did was a sleep over at her house last night. Other than that, it's been on a "Call me and let me know when you want to get together."

 

You're right in that too much planning is a problem. In my case, I'm just hoping it goes smoothly lol. I don't have a lot of experience and don't want to make some obvious rookie mistake that will turn her off completely.

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You're right in that too much planning is a problem. In my case, I'm just hoping it goes smoothly lol. I don't have a lot of experience and don't want to make some obvious rookie mistake that will turn her off completely.

 

What do you mean by "rookie mistake"?

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