Jump to content

Is it shallow to be turned off by a cheap guy?


sarahN

Recommended Posts

I just started dating again, and in the last two months I keep coming accross these pretty cool guys, that just happen to be broke and/or cheap. It turns me off so much when a guy won't pay for a meal, and I don't know why. Up until now all my boyfriends have kind of spoiled me, so going out to dinner and having to do the dutch thing is throwing me off.

 

Am I the only girl who feels this way?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 105
  • Created
  • Last Reply

It's natural to want to be with someone who can take care of you. But it also depends on whether or not he was being cheap, or if he really couldn't pay for the meal. Either way if you're willing to break it off because of this, this early on, then I would suggest not wasting his or your time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel the same way. My first serious bf (in college go figure) was stingy as heck when it came to taking me out. It was a problem I couldn't get over because I felt like this attitude would spill into family values as well (in terms of vacations etc.)

 

I believe that the guy should pay for the first date, always, especially if they asked you out. And if he truly cannot pay for your meal, then find a guy you can date with a real job.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a guy friend who refuses to pay for a date for a girl until he's spent some time with her and decided it's actually going somewhere. I wouldn't be the same way, but at the same time I can understand...

 

But, if it turns you off, it turns you off. You can't help that. We all like and dislike different things when we're dating, and you have every right to feel the way you do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

just depends on how cheap the person is, if he can't pay for at least HIS half of the meal there is something wrong. But as far as buying stuff that you want and he's not getting it for you... yes i think that's wrong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

most women feel that way, whether they care to admit it or not. It's just the way things are. There are rare exceptions, but it's how things have been done for hundreds of years. You take the girl out, you pay for her. If she annoys you or is as boring as watching paint dry, then you swallow your food, send her home, throw away the number, and move on to the next girl.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I went out with a man once who would bring his own food on our dates. That's not simply cheap, it's selfish.

 

...and oblivious!

 

OP: In the current economic climate that's something that you're probably likely to see a lot more of.

 

If going out with someone who's hit a rough patch due to the recession is not something you're attracted to then you'll have to weed them out from the ones who haven't.

 

You might be missing out on some good people that way, but at the end of the day you've gotta do whatever makes you happy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

If going out with someone who's hit a rough patch due to the recession is not something you're attracted to then you'll have to weed them out from the ones who haven't.

 

 

This is an exception, I'm not ignorant to the fact that people aren't struggling right now. My point... don't take me out to dinner if you can't pay! Especially for the first date. I can't get over it no matter what hardships the guy is going through.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

...and oblivious!

 

 

I am a little slow, so it took me two dates to figure out he was following some jerk-jock advice not to spend any money on his first three dates. He kept talking about all of the wonderful things he'd do for me 'in the future'. lol

 

Glad I wasn't born this morning....

 

Kinda made me wonder what sort of woman would put up with that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is an exception, I'm not ignorant to the fact that people aren't struggling right now. My point... don't take me out to dinner if you can't pay! Especially for the first date. I can't get over it no matter what hardships the guy is going through.

 

Agreed, if the guy can't afford to take you to that place, then he shoulder suggest somewhere he can afford. You can't suggest a place and then not be prepared to foot the bill. I wouldn't mind if the guy offered to pay, I would be prepared to pay for myself, but if he doesn't even offer, that is annoying!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just started dating again, and in the last two months I keep coming accross these pretty cool guys, that just happen to be broke and/or cheap. It turns me off so much when a guy won't pay for a meal, and I don't know why. Up until now all my boyfriends have kind of spoiled me, so going out to dinner and having to do the dutch thing is throwing me off.

 

Am I the only girl who feels this way?

 

I feel the same way, during the break with my boyfriend I briefly dated this guy who made a big deal out of paying on our first date. We took turns paying after that but I can't help but be turned off. Maybe I was just spoiled, just like how you feel since my boyfriend has always spoiled me when it comes to dates. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a guy begging me for weeks to take me out...

 

We went to the movies. He didn't pay for me. I never talked to him again. I wasn't expecting anything extravagant, but that was just being rude. I knew he had the money. I even debated leaving while I went to the bathroom real quick.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh, wow. That is brutal. I can't imagine how embarrassing that would be to have a date bring their food.

 

I went out with a man once who would bring his own food on our dates. That's not simply cheap, it's selfish. Turned me right off.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is the gentleman thing to offer to pay. I assume you like this guy too, the interest is mutual, if so, you can certainly pay your own way if it comes to that.

 

I have no problem paying but it turns me off when some women seem to think they are entitlement.

 

Some guys do not want to set wrong example from the get go!

If you like the guy, don't sweat it; he just might be frugal

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, it's pretty shallow, cause if you really like someone enough, they're income shouldn't matter. By asking a question like this, you come off as wanting to be spoiled without giving anything in return. Hence the reason I believe in being cheap. There's a difference between being generous and being a doormat. The difference is, the doormat doesn't know when to say no....

 

some guys are terrified to offer to pay these days...what with all us independent women demanding equal pay and all...

 

No, it's just no one wants to get used or taken advantage of.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's not shallow to be turned off by it, because you're not alone in this matter.

 

My bf doesn't always pay for me when we go out and I know it's because he has too much going on right now to do so. I don't mind this at all. Sometimes we go dutch, or other times I offer to pay or vice versa. It doesn't bother me because I know that he would offer me the world if he could, it's just not the right time especially in this economy.

 

However, if this was a first date and the guy asked me out, I would expect for him to pay. This is the first date, definitely sends a good impression. I recall on my first date with my bf, the bill came out to $30. He paid the bill and left a $20 tip (he was trying to impress me, but I made sure that he never did that again. The food was good, but the service sucked). I am not materialistic by all means, but it will be a turn off if a guy clearly has money and refuses to offer to pay for my share. If he was going through some difficulty, then that is totally understandable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

At the end of the day, men are going to be men and women are going to be women. Don't feel guilty for feeling that way. You are biologically wired to like guys with money.

 

Oh, great response. That really helps us out, just more support for the golddiggers. Just keep on feeding into the materialism of the world.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...