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Am I wrong to not want to date this guy?


CoCo2009
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My sister keeps trying to make me go out with her brother in law. I don't want to go out with him. I have known of him since I was young and I am not interested. They keep telling me that I need to give him a chance and all this crap. He is 40 years old...okay thats not a big deal to some people but I would rather date someone closer to my age. I am not interested and they are getting really angry at me, especially my mom. She is telling me that God brings people into my life and she thinks he is the one. She says to just go out with him as a friend I DON'T WANT TO GO. She is really mad at me and I'm just so shocked right now that she thinks she can just basically tell me she prayed to bring someone into my life and if I don't go out with them I'm stupid. This guy has been in our family for like 15 years and now all of the sudden he is the one and I NEED to give him a chance. Why can't they take no for an answer?

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I agree the age difference is too big. You would have little in common.

 

Yeah the age difference bothers me but what really bothers me is that growing up he has been family in my eyes. I can't just change what I see because they want me to date him. Its so awkward. Now if I ever see him I'm probably going to feel weird because I guess since they brought me up to him he decided that he wanted to date me. I'm not some commodity they can just offer up to him. I'm really annoyed right now. They even told me to make a facebook page so that I could talk to him on facebook and since I don't have one I need to make one. Why would I do all that for him? They are really acting crazy.

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You should not be forced to go out with someone you don't want to go out with. It is sometimes the case when people want to fix up a single person they take it very personally if the single person is not interested in the potential fixup. Your mother is almost taking this as a slap in the face to her. If you are not interested then you are not interested. Far better not to go out on the date then to pretend you are interested when you are not. 12 years is a large age difference..and it makes it even more so if he has been a fixture in the family since you were young..basically when you were still a child he was a grown adult. Reminds me of Celine Dion and her husband, rene angelil. He is much older and was her manager when she was still a child...kind of creepy that they ended up marrying.

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EXACTLY! I mean he is a cool person I'm sure, nothing against him I am just not interested. I am dating someone casually right now and that has nothing to do with it, I am barely starting to date again after my break up so I'm not really into dating that much anyway. Its just weird all the way around that all of the sudden they REALLY want me to date him. They are all ganging up on me basically. My sister, her husband and my mom are all calling me telling me to go over and over. This has been going on for like 2 weeks...when will it end. I finally decided to post it on here because I needed to know if I was wrong. They are making me feel so guilty. hmmmmm

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my response would be 'if he's so great, why don't YOU date him!!!' and leave it at that. work on asserting yourself.

 

lol hahaha, I wanted to say that but I couldn't because she is married to his brother! lmao Well my sister is, maybe I will tell my mom that....then she will really flip out on me. lol!

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hey - you don't have to explain it to us! if you're not interested, you're not interested. plus, he is sort of family, even if he's not blood related. i can see why you're not interested.

 

tell them to drop the topic. if they want to couple him off, surely they have some single friends.

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Hey CoCo

 

Tell your family that you have decided that you are a lesbian!

 

Do what you want to do hun (which is the right thing!)

 

Keep smiling darling.

 

LMAO Oh lord, I should do this to see how they react...to get a rise out of them!

 

They know I'm dating someone casually but I guess they don't care. Thats family for you. lol

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That's the spirit hun - loving it!

 

You know, it is fantastic because you have been so low but you are taking charge of your life - starting to set your own boundaries - accepting that life ain't always a bed of roses, and best of all - LAUGHING about it!

 

Yay girlie - keep this up!

 

Mark

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Thanks Clabs, I know I still cover over the edge sometimes but I'm trying to control this more

 

spinstermanquee--I have no idea, my mom called me first thing in the morning with my older sister on three way and she kept going on and on about how he is so nice, and how he is so sweet, and how we are so much alike, and we would be on one accord, and he asked her to ask me out, and blah blah blah. Then my mom called me back and told me to just listen to her don't say anything and she went on and on about how God brings people into your life and there was a time when she thought she would never date a certain guy but she gave him a chance. I had to say something and she basically got mad and hung up the phone on me. She hasn't called me back sense. It hurts because I don't have anyone to talk to and they are being real a holes right now. I can't stand them.

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Huh. Well first the "my opinion" argument didn't work, then the "bring God into it" one didn't work, so she got angry and hung up on you? Wow.

 

Dating someone, or not, is a matter of preference and you can't force someone to be attracted to someone else. That is a boundary violation right there. Your mom needs to snap back into her own space.

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I am sure they have seen the turmoil you have been through with this other man you "are casually dating", and they don't want to see you hurting and stressed out. I'm not saying it's their business, and they certainly shouldn't pressure you, but I am sure they care about you, and let's face it....this other guy hasn't exactly proven himself to be Mr. Committment yet.

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Well that guy really doesn't have anything to do with and I haven't shown them any type of "turmoil" I only vent to enotalone. I just don't want to date this guy they are trying to "hook me up" with. I haven't heard from my mom since she hung up on me yesterday and we usually talk a couple times per day. Oh well. I feel like crap this morning.

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