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Is it possible to Improve Your partners Techniques?..Also an embarrassing question..


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Hi everyone, I wonder if anyone can help me....

 

I recently started seeing someone new. We have been on a couple of dates and we really really REALLY hit it off. I find him very attractive and we can both talk for hours which is great.

 

However, last night we had sex for the first time. To be fair it wasnt how either of us had planned it in our heads, I think we got carried away. I wanted to wait until our next date but we bumped into eachother in a bar and I ended up staying over at his place! Both of us were a little tipsy..but I do really like him

 

I think its safe to say neither of us had planned for it to happen the way it did. We were both a bit drunk and we kinda went crazy on eachother. It wasnt terrible but I wondered if there is a way to improve your partners techniques without offending them!

 

He started off as a fabulous kisser but when things got a bit wild I felt like I was being eaten alive. I was trying to slow him down because I get far more turned on my slow and sensual sex, neck kissing and massaging and so forth.

 

Do you guys have any tips? Also, could it have been because we were drunk, maybe he was just kinda sloppy and rough. There was a sense of urgency and lots of biting and scratching (which did feel good, but I dont like that ALL the time!!!)

 

Now for the really embarrassing thing. He was talking dirty, but I was trying really hard to not to laugh at some of the things he was coming out with. Im sure he probably thinks women love that, but it was kinda embarrassing but funny. I mean I am very fond of him, and I guess sex is meant to be kinda funny right? I was so worried I was going to crack up! So as a question to the guys, could this have been a drunk thing?

 

I really like everything about this guy as a person and I want to build a relationship with him and keep on dating. We definitely have a lot of chemistry, but Im not sure we know the right way to go about it..Any Tips?

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I think you should wait and see how the next time goes before you sit him down for a talk on what you would like to be different, sounds like you had some drinks, you both got carried away and it wasn't quite what you planned..

Maybe next time invite him over, have some candles lit, wear some lingerie and tell him you're going to show him a good time...stay in control of the whole thing, don't let him do much, lie him on the bed and have your way with him-the way you like it...talk dirty the way you find it sexy, kiss the way you like...ride him at the pace you enjoy and see what "cums" of it-hehe

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Remember that he doesn't necessarily have a 'bad' technique any more than you do - what he does may be great for other women. You just need him to adopt a new technique for you - and the way to do that is to find out what works for him so you can do that and then explain what works best for you and please each other. That way, no one is bad, you are simply adjusting to each other.

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Thanks for your input guys DN you do have a very valid point, I think I worded it wrongly, afterall I dont think theres such a thing as bad technique its just a case of whatever floats your boat lol

 

So apologies for that! I guess what I mean is how can I put forward the things I like is a sexy way that wont seem too demanding or patronising. I really dont want to offend him! To be honest he told me today that he "cant believe that he wouldnt shutup" (referring to the very cheesy dirty talk) and he said he was cringing thinking about it. I hadnt said anything to him other than that he was talking dirty. He didnt know at this point that I found it cringy so I think maybe that was the alcohol talking.

 

Dont get me wrong, talking dirty can be incredibly sexy if done well I prefer it as a tool to build up with before seeing the person. I think when someone is right in front of you, actions speak louder

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I think you should wait and see how the next time goes before you sit him down for a talk on what you would like to be different, sounds like you had some drinks, you both got carried away and it wasn't quite what you planned..

 

I agree fully with the above...

 

The same thing happened to me a loooong time ago, and it was not indicative of how things were the next times at all. I was just starting to date someone & we had way, way too much to drink & we were intimate for the first time. I was acting ridiculous & I'm so embarrassed when I think back, & he, well, he actually gave me a good hard slap on the butt lol! That was sooooo not like him. We were also kissing wildly, in an almost silly way.

 

Point here, is that I dated him for 3 years and he never, ever did any of that again, nor did I repeat any of the over-exaggerated behaviors that I only did when having too much to drink. Intimacy was very different than that first night.

 

So maybe it was just that -- nerves, passion, alcohol...

 

I say, say nothing & nothing to drink the next time around. Take it from there....

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