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Anxious


Ihavetissues
Afraid meaning | Afraid in a Senten...
Afraid meaning | Afraid in a Sentence | Most common words in English #shorts

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This morning I woke up feeling really anxious and worried with a horrible feeling in my belly, about a whole load of things. I get things from time to time its actually getting less and less but sometimes I cant shake this feeling......

 

I worry that my boyfriend doesnt really want to be with me

I feel jealous, that his chatting to other girls and that he is meeting up with a "girl" friend tom

I feel worked up that I have to go to a family event with my boyfriend tonight and my parents don't like him

I don't have a job, but have a interview next week

Iam staying at home every day

About moving in my boyfriend

Feel un loved and lonely

 

And most of these are such stupid things to be worked up about cos I know my boyfriend wants to be with me and loves me etc but this is how I get sometimes and I hate this feeling......

 

](*,)

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I get like this too, and have tried doing something that (although it might feel a little silly, rationalising with yourself) works for me.

 

Write all those fears down. In full, don't leave anything out (the truer you are to how you're actually feeling, the more irrational they generally turn out) - and read over them.

You've said that you realise that they're fiction, not fact - so after reading through them, think over the real situation. Write down next to them all the reasons why they're not something to worry about, or why they're irrational fears, or what's actually happening.

If he was really going to meet some girl he was cheating on you with - ...why would he tell you?

 

I've done this regarding jealousy before, I got really worried that my boyfriend was spending the time he was going out seeing another girl, and then sat myself down, and rationalised - he was going out to lectures that I knew he wasn't missing, and getting back in on time (so the only time he could have been cheating on me was on the bus or in twenty minute trips to buy food...not much of a relationship!), he wasn't distancing himself or acting strangely, he was making plans with me on his days off, and when I really thought about it, there were no signs at all that he was meeting someone else - it was just me being paranoid.

 

However, if you find something you're actually sensibly worried about - sit down and talk to him about it. Such as moving in together - if you're worried about it, talk to him - he cares about you, and he'll be able to understand if he knows that you get anxious!

Also, if there are ways to fix other problems, be proactive. If you're feeling lonely, and he's not around - contact some friends, ring up someone for a chat? Or settle down to do something you prefer doing alone - like reading, or have a long bath or something.

But, no - it's not strange to worry about things. But it's also not an unsolvable problem!

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Thanks so very much for that, Thats what I needed to hear and your so right. Its nice to know people out there are going through the same things, even if its not a nice thing to go through, if you get what I mean

 

So are things good for you at the moment, is that working for you?

Cos I know Iam going to defo try it!

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It works for me when I feel myself getting nervous about something, definitely - and I've got it down to a fine art!

Generally I've found that the situation I think is the most likely is the one that's happening, and it's comforting to know that, because nervousness can make me very uncertain of my judgement - so being reassured that my judgement is pretty sound most of the time is comforting.

 

I hope it works for you - and good luck with your interview!

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The trouble I have is that i just let it get out of control in my head and cant stop thinking bout things in my head, like really obsessing bout it till then I normal share it with my bf and he just gets annoyed that he has to reassure me again and again, I know Iam pushing him to his limits at times.

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Well, obviously - he already knows that you don't have anything to worry about! And by the time it reaches him, you've thought it all over, and come up with all the possible situations, and it's been bothering you all day until it gets to him and then it's a bigger problem.

If you try the rationalising thing, then even if there's still a problem - you'll be able to separate which bits are the things that are really still worth worrying about, and bring it to him in a calmer and less panicked way.

When you do need to talk things over with him, do it over a cup of tea or something - just sit down on the sofa and talk it out calmly. Unless it's a worry about that specific moment in time, you don't need to hurry it, it'll stress him out far less in the form of a relaxed conversation, and you're more likely to get problems solved together without driving one another away.

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