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Am I That Insignificant?


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I have liked my best guy friend, Garrett, for over a year now, and what used to be a small crush seems to now be strong enough to be considered love. I thought he felt the same way, because he would always make excuses to hold me, or to be in a small space with me where we had to be very close, and because in general it seemed as if he was flirting when he spoke with me.

 

Today was Garrett's birthday, and I had previously hinted that I was going to do something for him. I spent an hour at the grocery finding the proper ingredients for cupcakes, and finding the perfect card, and then spent three hours baking and decorating said cupcakes. When I'd finished, I called his cell phone, and asked if he was at home. He wasn't, and told me he was at his brother's hockey. He told me he'd call when he got home, and I told him I had a surprise for him.

 

Almost three hours later, I hadn't heard from him. I know how long hockey takes. My brothers are in hockey, and I know that it doesnt take that long. So I called to check in, make sure he hadn't forgotten and to see if he was home. His brother answered. Garrett wasn't home.

 

I feel like a complete idiot now. This is because he either went out with friends and didn't bother to invite me, or he forgot to call in the short time he was home, which makes me feel so insignificant that he would forget the surprise I had for him.

 

Does this mean he doesn't like me after all?

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He's taking you for granted?

Something important came-up and he couldn't call?

He's forgetful and he forgot?

 

Doesn't sound like he dislikes you, too big of a conclusion to jump to! He'll have to explain what the deal is, and, that will tell you a lot. No reason to get upset when he may have had a good reason (hopefully!).

 

The home-made cupcakes were a beautiful, thoughful idea!!

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I had previously hinted that I was going to do something for him.

 

He told me he'd call when he got home, and I told him I had a surprise for him.

 

You hinted that you were going to do something for him. But did you make it clear that you had plans for tonight specifically, and did you make sure he was actually free?

 

Also, telling him you have a "surprise" for him doesn't necessarily tell him you went to all that trouble. "Surprise" could be as simple as a CD from his favorite band. You can't blame him for not knowing about the effort you put into the surprise, seeing as he had no idea what it really was.

 

I totally understand why you'd be upset, but the problem with keeping something a secret from someone--even a good one, even a surprise--is that they can't predict what you're doing or planning, and he probably already had something else in mind tonight because of that. I wouldn't conclude he doesn't like you because of that. I'd just conclude that he's not a mindreader.

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Thank you so much everyone for your helpful insights.

 

I guess I was just feeling a little disappointed that he didn't call, and you are all absolutely correct, I shouldn't jump to conclusions.

 

I'll just bring him his card and cupcakes tomorrow and hopefully he'll explain why he wasnt able to call.

 

Cheers!

Demi

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