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Soooo irritating!


Ammy
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I've turned over a new leaf and decided to come at internet dating from another angle - that is being proactive and seeking out guys I find interesting and emailing them. So I sent out "kisses" to gauge interest level (and surprisingly, most of them reply favourably) and then I send an email.

 

I send kisses to gauge interest and also ask for password for photos - I won't email a guy cold if I haven't seen his photo as physical attraction is important to me. Anyway this one guy replies to my kiss and says "he'd love to hear more about me" (they only allow limited standard responses)... So I send another kiss asking for his photo again.. He replied and gave me his password. I liked his photo "enough" and sent him an email, this is all in the space of a few hours... And then.... he deletes his profile!

 

Argh I wasted my money sending him an email and he deleted his profile.

 

I'm sure this isn't because of me... But now I'm wondering... I send a bit of a cheeky first email - his username was Mr Sparkle and I made a joke how it sounds like My Little Pony, and was a bit girly, but totally jokingly... and then said how my nickname is Cheeky Ammy and to not mind my sarcasm... then proceeded with a normal, nice email... Would you guys get offended if a girl was CLEARLY joking and made a cheeky comment like that in the first email? Did I overdo it?

 

I know I shouldn't stress the small stuff... but I wasted money emailing this guy... so it's more that than the "possible/kinda rejection" that is bothering me.

 

Ammy

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aw i'm sorry that it ended up being a waste (that he removed his profile) : [,

but really, i would highly doubt that your message was seen as offensive in some way. You were just being yourself and joking around a little bit. Don't worry about it.

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Big shame about the deleted profile, what luck. I definitely don't think it's because of you; just wouldn't make sense to be honest. Given how "busy" OLD is anything could have happened in the mean time.

 

Not everyone may laugh at cheeky joke, but there's definitely nothing Offensive about it. Everyone's different so all you can really do is show how you are, and that way is a part of you so why not? Doesn't sound anywhere near over-the-top either.

 

(I think you're selling yourself a bit short if you're surprised guys return the initial interest "favourably" given how you look and it's the girl who has initiated)

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Thanks guys... turns out he replied to me this evening with a really funny, cute message and said he liked me joke and wouldchange his name.. he also shared the simpsons connotation!

 

Silly me, always second guessing myself and overanalysing....

 

Take a deep breath Ammy!

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I've had that as well, it is very irritating.

 

But don't take it personally, of course I can't say with absolute certainty, but I think it's far more likely to have something entirely unconnected with you.

 

Good for you that you are being more proactive, keep it up and don't get disheartened!

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Whoops, you posted before me! But what I said still goes ... in those situations, the chances are you didn't offend them, and even if you did there's nothing you can do about it (unless it happens 10 times in a row, then you might want to rethink your approaches!)

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I wouldn't bother with the bells and whistles of "kisses" or "winks"- when I received those, I would not make it a priority to respond, and if I did I would write 'thanks for the wink, I'd be interested in learning more about you".

 

When I e-mailed men through on line dating sites I usually just wrote that I found his profile interesting and then sometimes I would pick one specific part to mention, or something that we had in common. I mostly avoided humor since these were strangers and humor gets lost pretty easily in an e-mail.

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1 3746283]Wait so just to clear this up? He didn't delete his profile after all?

 

He obviously hid it and then unhid it?! Weird I know.. but whatever, at least he replied and in fact said he liked my humour.

 

I like showing humour in my profile and emails as it's a large part of who I am - cheeky and witty - it's good for me to show who I am first up as this aspect of me CAN be intimidating (as I've been told the way I talk indicates I am smart and think for myself), so I try and be exactly who I am in my contact with men online, to avoid later disappointment!

 

As for winks and kisses - the way the australian sites work is that everyone sends a wink/kiss to gauge interest - the other person then replies with a "yes / no" - the first person then emails... I have never seen them work in any other way over here... I guess US sites must be different.. but the only people who emailed me cold wasted their money and effort as I usually wasn't intersted and this could more easily have been avoided had they sent a kiss / wink first up.

 

Ammy

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