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What to do as a girlfriend


EQD

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My boyfriend i'm extremely certain has mixed sleep apnea.. and it bothers the hell out of me.

You know how scary it is to wake up and find that your SO is no longer breathing??

I shook him last night. Usually i'll always put my hand on his chest, as soon as he picks back up i can fall asleep.

 

But really i dont like it when i think my boyfriend has died in his sleep. not cool.

 

And its either like that or its him snoring. which generally i sleep through *most* times.

 

So i brought this up sunday and he guessed it was sleep apnea, which makes me think that someone has already talked to him about it, but i feel like pressing the issue since it doesnt sound like he was diagnosed or taking treatment of course...

 

How should i go about this without seeming like i'm nagging about his health which is entirely in his realm of responsibility?

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Tell him that his organs will break down and deteriorate unless he seeks help. This condition requires either surgery, or more common, sleeping with a CPAP machine. This machine is essentially a mask which forces air through your nose so you can breath. Of course, he won't like either option, but not choosing an option isn't an option. This is like having 10 rotting teeth in your mouth but refusing to go to the dentist, but it's 100 times worse then that. These are your organs we're talking about.

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my ex's mom had apnea and had to have the machine.. it was loud ?

but... this sucks.

 

and what jettison said i believe is accurate.

not healthy at all to stop breathing randomly several times while you sleep.

sure you wake up, but you are still ceasing to work properly, and not breathing for a while. which isnt good.

 

its not just loss of sleep we are talking about...

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My dad has sleep apnea and the thing that finally got him to go to the doctor was me telling him that sleep apena increases your chances of dying from anything else that happens to you by a HUGE amount, because your body is so weakened from never getting any sleep. I would do some research and try to scare your bf with statistics, because sleep apnea is very, VERY serious.

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a while back he did have something happen to him while he was sick... he thought it was a heart attack or something so he had all sorts of tests done, and had to take blood thinners.. the doctors thought it was a heart attack but in the end they didnt really know what happened.

 

perhaps it was from the apnea?

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Try and get him to understand how much it worries you that he quits breathing. He may not have looked up options that will help. Maybe something simple at first.

 

if you two stay together for a very long time you may very well want him to stop breathing! LOL JK

 

Lost

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You definitely can die from sleep apnea, happened to my dad's friend.

 

I suffered from sleep apnea - I had to have my tonsils removed to relieve this.

 

All you can do is just voice your concern for his safety - as was previously said, his body can slowly deteriorate due to having this condition..if it hasn't already started.

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I had obstructive sleep apnea for a while, and I also sleep with my eyes partly open. My gf had a real fright the first time she spent the night, and woke up in the middle of the night to see me with my eyes open and not breathing.

 

Anyway, if you think he has complex sleep apnea (why, btw?), and he's had it for a while and it's not changing, then get him to sleep lab, where he can be monitored, diagnosed and treated properly.

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You definitely can die from sleep apnea, happened to my dad's friend.

 

I suffered from sleep apnea - I had to have my tonsils removed to relieve this.

 

All you can do is just voice your concern for his safety - as was previously said, his body can slowly deteriorate due to having this condition..if it hasn't already started.

 

It's extremely unusual for an adult death to be related to sleep apnea, and I've never heard of it happening without an underlying cardiac problem. Young children are a different matter, and much more at risk.

 

It should be treated, though, for sure, and sleep labs are designed for this more than anything else.

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I had obstructive sleep apnea for a while, and I also sleep with my eyes partly open. My gf had a real fright the first time she spent the night, and woke up in the middle of the night to see me with my eyes open and not breathing.

 

Anyway, if you think he has complex sleep apnea (why, btw?), and he's had it for a while and it's not changing, then get him to sleep lab, where he can be monitored, diagnosed and treated properly.

 

 

because he either snores loudly when he sleeps, or he stops breathing completely. or some nights he will just snore a little and then later on stop breathing. Last night he was quiet. but i woke up and he was still as death. i shook him around and he came to.. then we snuggled

 

its not something that happens now and again. its every single night and a few times per night.

 

Like i said when i wake and he's not breathing i always make sure he starts again. Its scary.

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because he either snores loudly when he sleeps, or he stops breathing completely. or some nights he will just snore a little and then later on stop breathing. Last night he was quiet. but i woke up and he was still as death. i shook him around and he came to.. then we snuggled

 

its not something that happens now and again. its every single night and a few times per night.

 

Like i said when i wake and he's not breathing i always make sure he starts again. Its scary.

 

Okay, I'm sold. Snoring related to breathing difficulties is usually obstructive sleep apnea, but if happens when he's quiet and still as well, then complex (mixed) sounds quite plausible. That's definitely a reason to get him to a lab, as that's a bit more serious.

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He had no cardiac issues - normal stress tests, echos, cardiac cath, etc. While it's rare - it can happen. Better to be safe than sorry.

 

I'm fascinated, forgive my questions; this is one of my specialist areas and I've never come accross this. What was given as the cause of death? And do you know if anything showed in the post mortem? Don't worry if you don't know or would prefer not to answer; I'm just curious to get as much info as possible before consulting some of my colleagues.

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i forget what he said about the tests.. they said that something was out of whack that made them think it was a heart attack. like.... something about how some level peaks afterwards.

they said it was positive for that.

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I'm fascinated, forgive my questions; this is one of my specialist areas and I've never come accross this. What was given as the cause of death? And do you know if anything showed in the post mortem? Don't worry if you don't know or would prefer not to answer; I'm just curious to get as much info as possible before consulting some of my colleagues.

 

OSA was given as cause of death - written and signed by the MD on his death certificate, as of anything that was found in his autopsy i'm not aware of. I know he had the autopsy AFTER his death certificate was signed. I'll have to follow up with the family because i'm curious now.

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My boyfriend has sleep apnea... he had it for years as a teenager without knowing it.

 

Because he was always so tired, his memory was affected. He has a terrible memory for anything that happened during high school. When he finally got the machine, the doctor said he was fine, but that the sleep apnea had put quite a bit of stress on his heart which is really could have done without.

 

Even if it's not necessarily life-threatening, if he has sleep apnea he will be much happier and healthier once he gets treated for it. You should encourage him to go to a sleep lab.

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i talked with him last night. he's not crazy about the idea of paying money for it. But i urged him to do some research on it. He said he would.

 

From what everyone is saying here i hope he takes it seriously enough to not mind the cost or the annoying little mask.

I have to admit it really sucks that he likely has this.

 

But its better than death.

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