Jump to content

Please share your typical relationship week as regards space and alone time...


mca1975

Recommended Posts

Hi all, just wanted some feedback on people's typical relationship week as regards space etc.

 

I have always had big trouble in this area setting the correct boundaries and don't really know what I'm doing. I am actually just learning how to have a life within a relationship and I must say its making me feel happier and it's actually helping our relationship. I am also feeling less guilt over it!

 

My boyfriend does not see his friends as much as I do, my circle of friends is wider. I enjoy alone time a lot, a bit more than he does. He can get quite bored easily if he is not entertained, lol, but I actually love the silence of being left alone at times, but not for too long

 

Last week, I started off by going to stay with a close friend of mine and stayed over the night. Me and my BF are currently living at his parents, which is kinda difficult for me and I wanted a night away. He did not have a problem with this. Then I visited my cousin for a few hours a couple of days later, and didnt invite my BF. I also went out the weekend just gone for a few drinks to a party, but I went with my sister and friends, as my BF didnt really fancy it. Then last night I went out for a bite to eat with my friend! I actually feel really good for once about doing my own thing, which enables me to miss my boyfriend a little bit for once!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think its the other way round in my relationship. Iam always happy seeing my bf most nights where I know he likes his own space to do what he wants, he doesnt go out much tho. Its me that goes out with friends etc and he always encourages me to go out, as he thinks its good for us both to have our own lives too. Some weeks we see lots of each other some weeks not so much, just depends what we have going on work and socially. But i do think if you dont see each other for abit you get the change to miss each other.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think my BF is quite happy to spend all of his spare time with me, but I cannot spend all my time with someone, even friends will get on my nerves if I spend too much time with them, so I think a little break to be alone or to see someone else is very good for us.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, I have told him. I felt so guilty at first and he did look kinda upset, though he said I imagined it, but I have managed to drum into him that I just need my space in order to live a happy life, always been the same....

 

onwards and upwards!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Before we got married and lived together, I can't say that I felt I needed "space" but there were times I was happy just to have him in the same room or same apartment while we each worked on independent things (or maybe one person worked, the other watched TV, whatever). But, we both had pretty frequent social or business plans with others and for a good part of our relationship we were long distance so maybe this is not the best example.

 

We've been married almost 10 months, typical week involves us being apart during the day from about 9am to about 7pm 4-5 days a week, and the other days either being together all day or a good part of it. I don't feel I need space from him, because I don't feel we are together that much even though we're married! He sometimes has plans in the evening without me and sometimes travels for work so that also cuts into our time. I don't go out in the evenings much anymore alone because I take care of our baby boy (well I could if he were home to take care of him, but so far that's happened rarely; I prefer to be here for the evening routine.)

 

We also have friends over once in awhile so that is a different kind of togetherness.

 

He's easy to be around (I am less so, lol) - and I like our routine of "parallel play" because it's nice to be here with him even if we're doing our own thing.

 

I should add that before we had the baby we rarely went out on a weekend night without the other person because those were our "date nights".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I only get to see my guy once a week, during weekends. during the weekdays, we basically have all the freedom to o as we wish, but we're both preoccupied with work that's why we really don't get to go out except for weekends too. i think this set up helps us too, because we become fonder of each other. we miss each other badly. now, whenever he's out with his friends or i am with mine doesn't seem to be an issue between us.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree Batya, I like the parallel play (as you call it) very much where we are both in the same room and doing our own thing, I really like that.

 

I have just always had a problem being away from my SO's, I have always felt kinda desperate and needy and worried, so I am accepting that in this relationship, I don't need to be about spending time away.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...