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just when i think things are going to be good


lifeispainx

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well, tonight we go to that concert. she and i have pretty much zero physical contact. she gives me the weakest kiss, and only after i initiate it. i dont get it. maybe im just naive and get my hopes up when i shouldnt, i did the right things, i went nc, then she did all the contacting, then i went very very lc for a little bit. i've started acting like the guy she met, but it just seems like im going backwards with her and i dont know what to do!!!

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its quite the process, a long road to recovery. There do seem to be some positives I mean, a week ago did she kiss you? but at-least now you know to go back to what you were doing to move forward, just take it day by day again and move forward becoming the man you want to be and focus on you, she can decide whether she wants that man or not. Dont rack your brain over this, you've come a long way.

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its quite the process, a long road to recovery. There do seem to be some positives I mean, a week ago did she kiss you? but at-least now you know to go back to what you were doing to move forward, just take it day by day again and move forward becoming the man you want to be and focus on you, she can decide whether she wants that man or not. Dont rack your brain over this, you've come a long way.
ok ill give you a quick summary. she broke up with me for various reasons. after a week of NC she contacted me. i was very reluctant to talk to her but i did and kept it very short. she was making plans with me, we were having sex still, every time i saw her it was a big hug/kiss from her. i started pulling back a little more, ignoring her some days because i was frustrated with the situation, so i figured i need to take time for myself. then the last time i saw her, it was the same thing, weak kiss, hug. so, at that point i got back into the mindset i was when she met me, and decided "if we're gonna have a chance i need to bet he guy she first met". at dinner tonight she tells me how her friend introduced her to a guy to see if she'd like him. im thinking to myself "wait a minute, did you just tell me not even 3 weeks ago you cant date anyone right now?" but whatever. i laughed at the story and didnt get hung up on. so we come back to my house, she sleeps over. she was so far on the other side of the bed that there was literally not even an inch between her and the end of the bed. im way more upset about this then i should be but i just felt like i was slapped in the face. im on the verge of just telling her i cant talk to her right now because i have very real feelings for her and its just going to mess up any friendship at this point. im so confused now everything was going pretty good, she was making regular contact with ME for 3 weeks straight.
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A psychologist will tell you that communication is 90% non verbal and 10% verbal.

 

Have a look at her body language when she's with you. Is she turned towards you? Does she mirror your actions (i.e. lifting her drink up at the same time as you?) Is she giving you open eye contact? Is her hug wholesome or weak? Is she smiling and flirting? Or just being day to day friendly?

 

Take the verbal communication out of the equation. What are her non verbals telling you? Is she comfortable with you? You say that she slept miles away from you in the bed - what is that telling you, without her having to say a word?

 

People to initiate a split do not necessarily want to hurt the other person. They can still care about the person but not want to spend the rest of their life with them, but because they care (and sometimes to avoid confrontation), they will say things to soften the blow. Ignore the words, watch what she does, her body language, her behaviour, her eye contact. What is she telling you?

 

My interpretation of her behaviour is that she is not ready for physical contact with you. I'd back off and go l/c n/c for a while. But that's just my opinion.

 

Susie

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i dont understand the part about her not being ready. we've had sex several times since we broke up, and kept physical contact going. she's always made me feel like she still had feelings but just wasnt ready to be in a relationship. i dont understand what is going on and why she seems to be pulling back like that.

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She's Not Texting Me Like She U...
She's Not Texting Me Like She Used To

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