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I worry way too much


-Sanguine-

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I always have. Even since I was a little kid, I worried about everything. I have gotten a lot better... for the most part. I realized last night after a c onversation with my boyfriend, that I'm looking for thiings to be wrong in our relationship, or things to be worried about. And really, we have a great relationship, he treats me so well and we're happy together.

 

Still, I find myself worrying if we are okay. And yeah, trying to find something for myself to worry about.

 

Last night we had a conversation and he said it sounded like I was looking to find things wrong.

 

Why would I do that? Is it that I am content and my brain is not used to not having anything to worry about so I have to find something?

I'm going to try very hard to stop overanalyzing and make thsi stop.

Any tips?

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You need to try and just block the worrying thoughts out. I know its really hard cos I worry when I dont have something to worry about, I try to keep busy too but I think if the thoughts are there they are so as soon as you feel yourself worrying bout something try and change that train of thought.

I know how you feel, but I to feel like Ill getting better.

 

Good Luck

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I can definitely relate to this, and I've been able to help curb the worry-wart tendencies in me after some time.

 

As you probably know, there are quite a few people like us in the world. In fact, it’s the carefree types who are considered the anomalies. We take their advice but worry about whether it’s going to work. Does this advice apply to me? Will it last long? What if I end up worse than before?

 

Anxiety has been a problem for me since childhood, too, when life was only about toys, games and play-dates. It was just as easy for me to worry about fun as it was to worry about passing classes, finding a job after graduation, being good enough in my field – and yes, my relationship.

 

Now that I’m out of school, married and working for a solid company, I find it easy to worry about keeping that job, my stress level, being able to pay my mortgage, my wife finding a job after graduation … you get the point.

 

There’s likely no quick fix for eliminating your tendency to worry. If every problem in your relationship vanished with a single thought, I bet you’d find something else in life to worry about. In the unlikely event you couldn’t think of anything, you might start worrying about not being able to figure out what you’re worried about.

 

Instead of being afraid of any disruption in the status quo, try to imagine how things can change for the better. You might say it never works out that way for you; worriers tend to think other worriers aren’t rational – “She has no reason to worry because everything turns out right for her in the end, but I’m not so lucky.”

 

Attitude and decisions are more influential than luck. By all means, consider and plan for worst-case scenarios, but don’t live your life by them. As it's already been mentioned, find something to do to focus your mind on pleasurable things. Hobbies and personal goals have helped me move beyond obsessing over potential devastation. Cleaning, home improvement projects, writing, reading, listening to audio books, learning an instrument or mastering Guitar Hero – anything enjoyable that gives me a goal without a deadline.

 

It sounds like a Band-Aid for the problem, but this desire for productivity has also helped me understand life is too short to waste time thinking about how short life is.

 

In getting past your chronic worrying about the relationship, the only choice you have is to trust your boyfriend to tell you when something is wrong. It won’t do you any good to ask for constant reassurance (if he ever slipped up and wasn’t quite as reassuring as he had been the day before, what do you think you would do?). Just be a good girlfriend; if the relationship ends anyway, you’ll know your worrying was just a way to hold on to a relationship that couldn’t otherwise stand on its own.

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stephenP what a great post! made me laugh a bit though I gotta say because I partly relate.

 

I have found physical tasks really help. Cleaning, exercising, working in nature, swimming. They "ground" you. Also another thought that helps you get out of your woorying world is to say to yourself "in the great sceme of things, how much does this really matter?"

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The next time you have time on your hands, rather than focusing on all the negative aspects, why don't you start thinking about the positives? Think of the moment you first met your boyfriend, how you fell in love with him and how you feel so much more now than ever. It really doesn't pay to worry so much about something that you have no control over. Nothing in life is guaranteed, but there's one thing for sure - if you keep worrying, you will just stress yourself out. Honestly? Who needs that. There are much better things to do on your free time than stress. You are looking for problems where there is none.

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Thanks, guys

Yesterday on the way home on the bus I was thinking about stuff again and I told myself to stop it. It's so annoying. My mind just wanders because I literally have nothing else to do...

I have a very positive attitude about life, so I wish I could sit and think about all the positive things. It's kind of contradicting.. but you know what? I do, I do sit and think about when we fell in love and everything like that.. but when that passes, I move on to everything else.

 

And what you said, Stephen about needing reassurance is SO true. I don't know why I do! but I seem to need it a lot, or I question if he wants to see me. OF course he does! He has done nothing for me to think otherwise.

 

I gotta stop doing that or it'll wreck what we have.

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