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It feels like ive been shot....


CB4RH

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The feelings i have right now, i can honestly say compare to that of a death. Its only been two weeks, but hearing about "my baby" out there hooking up already after like i said 2 weeks of being broken up, is totally and utterly tearing me up. (she cheated on me, then left me the next day)

 

Our relationship almost made it to three years, she was my bestfriend and first love. I never ever want to do this * * * * again, these feelings are totally consuming.

 

I feel hatred, anger, sadness, remorse, love.... so many emotions rolled up witha dash of teenage hormones makes for one @$#^%# up time.

 

I havent gone more than a few days without talking to her for the last 4 years, now im expected to man up and never speak to her again?? I just cant handle this, it feels like all the strength i have tried to muster is slipping with every new day.

 

She is getting her wisdom teeth out today. I know because i was supposed to be there. Holding her hand. I cant stand the thought of her in pain, even though she is causing me so much.

 

I have so much emotion bottled up, i can feel it like im a god damn pressurised bottle. I want to get it out, but it just wont leave.

 

I feel like such a fool, falling for this girl, giving myself to her fully. Only to find out i had no idea who the $%# she really was.

 

Will i ever trust a woman again? Coz right now i wish they didnt exist. When she seemed to be to good to be true, she was.

 

I told myself as a child when i saw my parents relationship crash and burn, that i would treat the person i chose to be mine like she was the only other person on this planet. Like she was royalty, with respect like the man i am supposed to be.

 

Now i have been betrayed, lied to, humiliated to an extreme degree. The mornings are the worst, when i dream of her. Its like this cycle starts all over again every morning. I draw strength from my friends that i consider brothers, but then i go to sleep and wake up only to feel like its just happened again.

 

Im sorry for the long, sooky post. i just felt like getting this * * * * out.

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Well if she cheated on you then broke up with you the next day, that did show how she was and that she didn't really care about you in the way you did for her. I know it hurts now and you do have every right to feel that way since she was your first love, however you are young still. All you can do is learn from this, and know to not give your all until you know that the person feels the exact same way. Some girls like her take advantage of guys who give there all. It's a sad reality since men do it back to us, but women are the same, in some cases.

 

You will be able to trust again, but it will take time. Pain like this will take time. Just take things a day at a time, try to do things that will take your mind off of her.

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Everyone seems to have given you good advise. I am in a very similar situation to you, as you know, you posted in my thread.

 

I feel a little odd trying to give advise especially since I am only 2 weeks in, and only 4 days so far of NC. It was 7 years for me and the thought of her being out of my life tears me up and just makes my life feel hopeless.

 

I cant speak to the future because I havent gotten there yet, but I can tell you everything everyone has told me, and I can tell you what has helped me so far.

 

First, the feelings of love and loss are going to be there and probably for a while, nothing you can do about it. Everyone will also tell you that there are people out there that wont hurt you, again I havent gotten to that point yet, but just try to remember that she hurt you. When push came to shove she did something incredibly selfish and it hurt you. Focus on that, and focus on how that made you feel, then try to channel that into how you would feel if you didnt have that in your life. I know that sounds like it wont help, but remember that no matter what happens in the future, if she is in your life, that hurt will probably never go away. And honestly, do you really want that in your life? Im guessing no.

 

Secondly, do exactly what you have started doing. Talk to people. Talk to as many people as you can. Just be careful not to push anyone away. I am very lucky because I have a few really good friends and they are completely willing to listen. Talk to your family, be willing to admit details you might not otherwise be willing to admit. Just find someone you know you can trust and confide in them. Spend as much time with other people as you can. I have basically been with my friends nonstop for the past two weeks, and honestly it helps. Also if possible, try to remove yourself from situations or things that you used to do with her. As much as possible try not to think about the good things and focus on the hurt. The hurt will be easier to get past than the good. I know its going to be difficult and feel next to impossible, but give it a little time and things will begin to start looking up.

 

It sucks and I feel for you man, just hang in there, im certainly trying to hang in there too.

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