Jump to content

First time post. Long post. Losing my soulmate


travis9999

Recommended Posts

Where to start. I guess our background could help. I just recently got out of a 5 year relationship. We dated for a very long time from 18-23. We are both very close, almost dependent and addicted to each other. We loved each other very much. She really thought I was her prince charming. I know realize that I love her very much. I was considering proposing this coming Christmas. But, me being a 23 year old male only acted immaturely and pushed her away. Now, looking back I know that I possibly blew the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have been dealing with my own issues for the past couple months, which definitely effected our relationship. Also, our relationship was recently placed under a lot of stress. My ex just recently graduated from college (I'm still in school), got a job, and bought a house. She has always been very driven and ambitious and always gets what she wants. That is one of the reasons I love her so much. We moved in together, which now I see that it probably wasn't the best idea. But I felt it was the next step to make at the time with our relationship. We had been in the house for about a month, when she came home, sat next to me and said "I'm not happy". So of course I jump up say "that's okay" and started packing my things. She was devastated. We broke up and of course I acted like a * * * * * * * . Calling her, writing 1000 word long text, all the normal mistakes the dumpee usually makes. But I had this sense of urgency to tell her how I felt, all the things I should have been saying all along. But all of her responses were cold, distant, or none at all. We agreed to meet and talk in person this past Wednesday. She text me saying her phone wasn't working (how could she text then?) so she couldn't come. I didn't say anything I just told her maybe we could talk another time. She replied and said she would call Saturday, Saturday comes no call. So I go out with my friends and I run into her (same Saturday). We didn't talk, I left almost immediately. Later that night, I find out through a mutual friend that she is dating a coworker. But when I saw her, I could see in her eyes that she missed me and that maybe she wasn't happy. I really want to call her, which I know is probably a bad idea. But I feel so desperate for contact, I feel pathetic. I want to practice NC, I want nothing more than for her to be happy. But, I want to be the person that makes her happy, I know I can. I just haven't. I want her back, for the right reasons. I just don't know how to tell or show her. Also I don't know how to handle being alone. What is my next move?

This post is all over the place but its hard to put 5 years of love, emotions, and history in one writing. Sorry for typos and grammar, I'm kind of a mess right now. Anymore questions or feedback would be greatly appreciated. Please help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Like in the movie "swinger" said, you can't say anything to bring her back now. Anything you do now will push her away. Give her a chance to miss you. When she doesn't have any contact with you the bad will fade in her mind. Doesn't mean she will come back but NC is the best thing you can do now.

 

Anything you say or do now is seen as a strategy to get her back, and needy, which isn't an attractive feature.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If she's dating someone, I don't know if there is much you can do about it. It sounds like you've already told her how you feel about her and put the ball in her court, and she is acting a little immaturely. She should really just face up to you and be honest about how she feels and what she is doing, but then, you two are only 23 and that isn't so abnormal.

 

Her new guy may be exciting for her right now, but that doesn't mean he'll have 5 years of staying power like you did. It isn't unlikely that that won't fall apart on her and if you are taking care of yourself, looking good, and in a healthy place mentally, she may try to come back to you. I hate to give the generic advice, but I'd say just take care of yourself and give her space and time to figure things out.

 

It is painful to wait to see what will happen with her new guy, but you could do that, or you could try going out on dates yourself; up to you. Or just take a break from dating so you can heal.

 

I'm really sorry you're going through this. All is not lost, though I'm sure it feels like it. You are still very young and gained quite a bit of valuable experience with this relationship. You'll be happy again someday; just try to take it easy now and respect her decision.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch T...
Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch This!

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...