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Why is my taste in men so crappy?


baguette
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All of the men who i've dated for at least a few weeks were just not that great. Not on paper and although some were pretty nice/interesting in some ways...they were not even that great overall. What attracted me to them? to think of it actually i was never extremely interested in ay of them at least not in the beginning. i've turned down more "suitable" guys, or more good looking guys because i was never able to picture myself being "with" them. i've usually just dated these alright guys, while seriously dating/making relationships wiith the guys who weren't as good.

 

i don't think it's all about a matter of attraction or having that spark..i just have no idea why i chose them instead of the better guys! By the way this is not a nice guy vs bad boy thread.

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Maybe it's your opinion of yourself. You turn down good guys because you don't think you'll make it with them. You feel like the not-so-good guys are safer because you were never really that serious about them. If they break up with you, who cares? They sucked to begin with anyway.

 

Also, could it be because you have the desire to fix/take care of a guy?

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Maybe it's your opinion of yourself. You turn down good guys because you don't think you'll make it with them. You feel like the not-so-good guys are safer because you were never really that serious about them. If they break up with you, who cares? They sucked to begin with anyway.

 

Also, could it be because you have the desire to fix/take care of a guy?

 

well no I have been serious as well. I don't think i've really had a trend in trying to fix/take care of them.

 

I just never had a real interest in the better catches.

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are you even looking for a relationship? maybe deep down you dont really want to be with anyone at the moment, and this is your subconcious way of telling yourself that

 

it's not just the moment, this has been a trend ever since i've started dating. i like being in a relationship.

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I think it's a basic human need to be loved, and sometimes it's just not enough for it all to come from yourself. For some people that extra love comes from their church (if they're religious), for others it comes from a spouse/significant other, and for others somewhere entirely different. I think you need to love yourself enough that you won't be consumed by a relationship. So being a slight project person is basically having love as the final ingredient in the cake, and being a non-project person is kind of like having love as the icing on the cake. Or something like that.

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I think it's a basic human need to be loved, and sometimes it's just not enough for it all to come from yourself. For some people that extra love comes from their church (if they're religious), for others it comes from a spouse/significant other, and for others somewhere entirely different. I think you need to love yourself enough that you won't be consumed by a relationship. So being a slight project person is basically having love as the final ingredient in the cake, and being a non-project person is kind of like having love as the icing on the cake. Or something like that.

 

i don't think you're speaking to the right person..it's not really about loving myself because i feel i do. it's just that when it comes down to it i find myself attracted to the guys who are not good on paper instead of the guys who are.

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I think it's a basic human need to be loved, and sometimes it's just not enough for it all to come from yourself. For some people that extra love comes from their church (if they're religious), for others it comes from a spouse/significant other, and for others somewhere entirely different. I think you need to love yourself enough that you won't be consumed by a relationship. So being a slight project person is basically having love as the final ingredient in the cake, and being a non-project person is kind of like having love as the icing on the cake. Or something like that.

 

I agree with this and I've grown distasteful of cake without icing.

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i don't think you're speaking to the right person..it's not really about loving myself because i feel i do. it's just that when it comes down to it i find myself attracted to the guys who are not good on paper instead of the guys who are.

 

I was addressing the topic of "project people" started by waveseer in this thread. Probably should have used the quote option.

 

Anyway, what do you mean by guys who are "good on paper" versus "not good on paper"? Maybe if you define that you'd be closer to an answer.

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I was addressing the topic of "project people" started by waveseer in this thread. Probably should have used the quote option.

 

Anyway, what do you mean by guys who are "good on paper" versus "not good on paper"? Maybe if you define that you'd be closer to an answer.

 

good on paper would be if he had a good job, was educated or is in school, matches with me physically, is not a bum, gets along with my friends, etc. a "good catch"

 

not good on paper would be a guy who does not have the above. i mean i didn't date convicts or crazy abusive guys....but people have always told me that i "can do better". there have been "better" guys but i've never accepted them.

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I don't know I have been the same way. But I think it's because I'm afraid of rejection. The guys I like never seem to like me back, but then I'll have a string of so so's who are in love with me and so I'll go with one of them because I like feeling cared about.

 

Solution? I don't know let me know if you find one!

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I don't know I have been the same way. But I think it's because I'm afraid of rejection. The guys I like never seem to like me back, but then I'll have a string of so so's who are in love with me and so I'll go with one of them because I like feeling cared about.

 

Solution? I don't know let me know if you find one!

 

Ya i think that's part of it.

i have had good catches ask me out, have maybe gone on a few "dates" (nothing physical ever happened with any of them) as well, but did not find myself attracted to them enough. they were physically attractive but noone i could see myself dating.

 

then the other group of guys...some i weren't even really attracted to...i easily could see me dating them.

 

i don't want to sound conceited because i am far from it but maybe i thought to myself that i was a little better than those guys, so i felt more comfortable in that dynamic. not that i'm jealous of guys being better than me (or on the same level), or that i need attention...i just never enjoyed it..please tell me why.

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