Jump to content

I feel isolated and alone because of my sexuality..


Recommended Posts

Sometimes I wish I was straight because life would be so much easier for me I believe. I just felt me being gay hinders me from happiness in life. As a child and growing up as a teenager was hard, because I realized I was different and I led a secret life. No one really knew about me being gay. I was too ashamed to really come out in fear of being ridiculed and being abandoned. Till this day at the age of 23.. I'm still struggling with coming out...

 

I've never really dated and I've had crushes but the men I crushed on always either turned out to be straight,or involved with someone else. So I feel like I will never be able to find a love interest. The type of men I like are masculine gay men and I can't ever seemed to find those type of men. It seems like in my area,they only have the out effeminate gay men. Which just adds to my isolation. I even don't feel like I fit in the gay community. I'm not into the rainbows, or the hookups it seems like many people in this lifestyle are so focused on. I've tried websites to find other gay men but I find a lot these men to be shallow,superficial and many of them seem to be messy. They have hangups and are just looking for hookups. I'm not about that at all. I wish I could make friends without someone lying to me and trying to get into my pants.

 

At the same time I'm tired of lying about who I am to friends and family but I know a lot of people are not too accepting of homosexuality so I'm just conflicted overall. I'd like to come out but at the same time, it's just too much of a hassle. Especially in my community. There's still a lot of close minded people here in atlanta and I just can't deal with people turning their backs on me or looking at me with disgust.. I don't know what I can do to not feel so isolated and alone...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dont hide who you are but dont run around with a flag over your head anouncing it to everyone. Being gay doesnt hinder you being happy there are alot of happy gay men, Im straight and I cant seem to get a girlfriend so its not that at all. Its the fact that your not sure about yourself so you hide and people then think your not intrested.

 

Just be yourself make friends and let the relationships develop from there that way they will get to know you as gay and accept it from an early stage in the friendship even if they are straight some straight people think that gay people just want to shag every man they see, so just filter out the people worth being friends with from the ones that are not by showing them who you are and just see how they react. Like I say you dont have to go and tell everyone its not like youv got cancer and everyone needs to know, just act like you want to and dont look to hard what you want will come to you eventualy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm in a similar situation. I just came out to my sister the other day(who is religious) and she was shocked at first but she's coming around to accepting me. I'm not into that kind of reckless gay lifestyle either and you never really know who is gay, I like to think of myself as a straightgay, if there is such a term, I like sports, cars, and video games but im into guys. as for meeting your type of guy, maybe you should try the gyms.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The type of men I like are masculine gay men and I can't ever seemed to find those type of men. It seems like in my area,they only have the out effeminate gay men.

 

I cringe everytime I read that. It's very simple, but I'm gonna spell it for you: You only see effeminate gay men, because they are easy to spot. Got that? "Straight acting gay men" don't stand out because...I'll give you one guess. Seriously.

 

I just can't deal with people turning their backs on me or looking at me with disgust.

Dude, their disgust says everything about their minds and hearts, and none about yours. They're the ones that should be ashamed, not you. Life being life, however, it is the way it is.

 

Get out - meet those gays you can't stand, make friends. Through them, you will meet others like you that meet them to meet others like you. You don't have to sleep with them - just gently push away their advances.

 

From memory, I believe you still live with parents? Then maybe it'd be a good idea to not come out to them before you live on your own.

 

Good luck

You say you don't want to be isolated and alone, yet you will not swallow the pill, so to speak, and make the jump?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...