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Friends but no contact


k1k1
She's Not Texting Me Like She U...
She's Not Texting Me Like She Used To

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Im just relapsing. She says she wants to be friends, but never bothers to call or contact me.

Whats up with that?

 

Been there. Back in spring my ex swore up and down that she wanted to be friends. I told her that I didn't want to bother if it was going to be a one sided friendship, but she swore it wouldn't be. As it turned out, I was the only one who would ever make contact. After realizing this after contacting her a couple of times, I gave up. I then sent a quick hello earlier this week over the internet and got no response. She could have been busy, but I would've expected some response later. It's more annoying than hurtful. In my case, I don't have ulterior motives anymore. Your ex may have someone else in their life, making them feel guilty if they talk to you or maybe they're just busy.

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Well I think the problem is that we go into the friendship all lopsided to begin with. They have refocussed their lives and we haven't really. So I think their intentions are good (I hope they are) but they are doing their own thing now and we notice it more because we're still kinda stuck in the past. I guess some exs are no good louts who play with our feelings but hopefully not too many out there. I think deep down we know if our exs were good people with good intentions or jerks who really didn't deserve us.

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The problem is that the word "friend" has about a 1000 different levels to it, and is rarely specified. Maybe she meant "acquaintances," the kind of person you see on occasion, say hello to, but don't go out of your way to talk to.

 

Bottom line is, you both have a different idea of what kind of "friends" you agreed to be, and it might be best to follow her lead on this, if she was the one who broke it off.

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I would suggest against being friends anyhow if you have a romantic interest still. It would eventually wear you down, based on what I've seen. If you can eventually think of her as any other attractive girl, then I think the possibility of friendship would be there. It sounds like she isn't comfortable with it at this point anyhow, no matter where you stand.

 

I agree with others about the degree of friendship, but I think I know what the OP means when he saids that she never makes the contact (since I have experienced that). OP, I don't know how much contact you make with her, but if it is more than once every other week, you may want to try cutting it back to see what happens (assuming you're ready for a friendship).

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i knew right off the bat it'll be one sided friendship, it hurts me but once I get into realization that it was how it going to be, i snapped and just went "Well, that's kinda stupid."

 

So I went Nc, get on with my life, got a job and everything works out! at this moment I'm satisfied with myself, and guess who reached out (indirectly) to talk about his failed conquests?

 

jeez.

 

but what i'm giving him is what exactly he said he would give me. then he got angry that i'm not being sympathetic. what. the. hell.

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