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MY fiance been going out with this guy alot. Should I worry?


SadMan
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Hi guys,

 

Its been a while since I was here on ENA. My GF of 5 years (Fiance for 1 year) decided to go back to her home country to find her career a year ago. It was tough for me to let her go but this is something that she wanted. So then we got into international LDR.

 

During this year of LDR, we talk on the phone almost once a week, I went to our home country to visit her and she came to US and visited me a few months ago.

She will come in Jan for a business trip and I plan to visit her in Feb for Valentines day. We also planned to get marry in 2011.

 

A couple of months ago, I start noticing when she hangs out with her friends, that guy is there. She goes for lunch with him, goes to dinner with him, sees shows with him.

I notice this because she post her activities on Facebook for me to see.

But if she post her weekly activities, I can see that guy hanging with her for at least a few days a week either with a group of friends or by themselves.

 

Am I worry? or am I Jealous?

 

Should I say something?

 

Should I worry?

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Just bring it up casually, ask what she was doing and "ohhh whos that"...kinda cheesey but it doesn't come accross as jealous and it's a simple question, if she says just a friend, ask her how she knows him, theres a bunch of little ways you can get information without making it seem like an interrogation. You have the right to ask, and I guess jealousy or concern would be normal if your fiance is living in another country.

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Sorry to put it so bluntly but, seems like the beginning of the end. You talk almost once a week and you're planning on getting married? This relationship sounds like it has been doomed for some time. Best of luck, but I say cut your losses now, or move back.

 

I thought long distance calling is rather expensive than local calling. I'm sure the OP and his fiance can't help it.

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i think it's in bad taste and bad form and a bad habit to spend so much time with a member of the opposite sex, especially when you're in a relationship, and even more so when you're engaged. It sends the wrong message to your fiance, and it sends the wrong message to the guy you're spending time with.

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There is skype that allows you to call from PC to PC for free as much as you want. Every day all day long and if you want with a web cam.. So in 21. century excpensive calls are not an excuse. But lack of will is. I also think it's the beginning of the end. Or it is the end. LDR relationship are hard and how close to you want to be with someone if you talk only once a week and live in another country? She's gone.. move on or move to her country.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Sounds a little fishy to me from what you have told us. I would just casually ask her who this guy is that she seems to spending a lot of time with. Facebook can also make things out to be different for what it actually is in real life and can sometimes make people worry for no apparent reason. I would still look into this as it seems to me your 'gut' feeling on this isn't telling you good news.

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How can somebody plan to get married and at the same time having that behaviour?? Something is not right... You have the right to feel annoyed amd hurt...

But I am not sure what can you do, as for what you are saying it seems that she is doing her life without you...

It feels like you are chasing something gone...

Hope I am wrong...

Good luck!

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