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ANY help is much appreciated...I want her back.


swifty335
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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So my g/f of two years broke up with me 3 months ago. I love her with all of my heart and I just want to spend my life with her. She means everything to me and she felt the same about me. We are perfect together. I know most of you on this site probably know how I feel, so I won't go any further into detail about our relationship....

 

Now that I have had time to reflect, I see why she left me. I treated her like she didn't matter; put down her beliefs, manipulated situations to make it seem like her fault, talked about other girls with her, complained about gifts that she got me, she loves ambition and is a firm believer that you need time for yourself as well as your love and I made it seem like I wanted her all to myself and would get jealous and suspicious of her for no reason...etc. etc.

 

But anyways, when we broke up, she said she just needs space to concentrate on school and to just have some fun with friends. She said she doesn't want a relationship with ANYONE right now, and that guys have asked her out but she has turned them down. At first, emotions were running high; I was coming on WAY too strong and too fast in trying to get her back. I showed up at places I knew she would be, called/emailed her confessing my love for her...all the right things to make her never want me back. After writing her a letter about 3 weeks ago, she called me saying that I deserve a second chance, but that she still needs some time to herself.

 

Since then, I've been going NC; we haven't talked at all in about a month. I have started couselling to deal with my heartbreak. I've been working on the problems in myself that caused her to leave me, and I have been doing things to get my mind off of her for a while. The pain has begun to subside and I am moving forward in life.

 

The bottom line is, whether you agree with me or not...I NEED one more chance with her. I love her more than I could ever explain and she IS "the one" for me.

 

Please...any help as to what the best way to go about getting her back into my arms will be an AMAZING help to me. I gotta have this girl; or at least one more try because I know what's right and what's wrong now and I have found the true me. I KNOW she will be even happier this time.

 

HELP ME PLEASE!!

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Most effective way to get a girl to come back is to find another girl. I've been broken up with twice, and on both occasions I was seeing another girl within a couple weeks. When the ex found out, in both cases, they started blowing my phone up wanting "to talk about things". We talked, but I wasn't doing it to make them jealous(though I was thrilled at that result, lol) or make them come back so I just told them I was happy where I was at.

 

Anyway, I say you just get a new girl and if your ex comes back, great. If not, you've got a new girl.

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Most effective way to get a girl to come back is to find another girl. I've been broken up with twice, and on both occasions I was seeing another girl within a couple weeks. When the ex found out, in both cases, they started blowing my phone up wanting "to talk about things". We talked, but I wasn't doing it to make them jealous(though I was thrilled at that result, lol) or make them come back so I just told them I was happy where I was at.

 

Anyway, I say you just get a new girl and if your ex comes back, great. If not, you've got a new girl.

I don't know with her though it could go both ways. You seem to have been over your EXs when they called, I'm not...she's the one I want to spend my life with. If she called me and wanted to get back together I start crying tears of happiness lol.

 

And I never see her so there's really no way for her to know unless I try to like shove it in her face pretty much.

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Well if you feel your ready for a possible negative outcome, eventually you'll have to contact her or vice versa. I'd keep it extremely light and short the first couple of times, 10-15min coffee to talk about school/work; think of it as getting to know her again on these mini-dates and you can also see her reaction to things, eventually over some time (key) you can move a little forward at a time and perhaps she will feel the same.

Hope you find happiness.

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I feel for you, but there's no way we can help you get her back. She made the decision and trying to change her mind will only push her further away.

 

Venting here and reading other's stories can help you cope, but I recommend No Contact at least for a while.

 

Sounds like you have an addiciton to her, which is not healthy. You need to work on yourself and become the person YOU want to be before you think about relationships (I speak from experience, so I'm not trying to preach).

 

I also recommend you read the book Uncoupling. I am reading it now...it sheds light on what the dumper was thinknig...and from your situation, sounds like you already know: she became turned off by your neediness...so the only way to solve the problem is to become less needy.

 

PM me if you want to vent.

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Well if you feel your ready for a possible negative outcome, eventually you'll have to contact her or vice versa. I'd keep it extremely light and short the first couple of times, 10-15min coffee to talk about school/work; think of it as getting to know her again on these mini-dates and you can also see her reaction to things, eventually over some time (key) you can move a little forward at a time and perhaps she will feel the same.

Hope you find happiness.

Thanks Mike, that's good advice it's just going to be really hard to take it slow like that when I still love her more than anything. But I guess I'm going to have to if I want another chance because she's even said she wants to take it slow and get to know each other all over again.

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Thank you for offering to help me like this...I'm going through such a hard time right now I'm just lost..

 

But as far as venting goes theres not much for me to say; I've vented ALOT in the past 3 months. Like last week I was ok; I was in good moods and feeling optimistic about things...and here I am the past few days crying my eyes out just missing her so bad. I've been going out with my friends and I'm even kind of seeing another girl, but I'm not letting it get serious because I don't want to string her along; after all I love my EX...I really don't think I have an addiction to her, maybe in a sense, but I've thought about that. I can live without her but it's just that I don't want to, I want her by my side through thick and thin. I just have to get another chance you might not agree but try and understand...I've been confused and thought I loved someone many times before, but this is real..what I feel for her is undeniable.

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