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Wow I just did something stupid....soooo stupid


CoCo2009

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Well my ex broke up with my in early March. I fell apart...I have been building myself up...well at least I thought I have. I have been dating but my emotions are all messed up so I don't how I feel about anything anymore. I logged onto Myspace and looked up my ex. I see him and he has a girlfriend now I think, she is on his page and stuff..she lives in his area. I feel so bad right now. I guess I'm not over him. I feel horrible inside. I feel like crap. I thought I knew who i was, I thought I was better but I'm not.

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This is the second big step in breaking up, you get over the initial pain hurt and it comes back when they find someone new. It was a big set back to me too. But think about it, your dating too, your moving on, you have a nice guy and you deserved a lot more than your ex, you were miserable with him. You have a cool new life.

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I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. I know it's hard but you've definitely came a long way. A few setbacks does not equal failure. Just realize that it's not healthy for you and try to stay away from now on. You know for a fact that he has clearly moved on, now you should do the same. You don't need anymore validation than that. It's all about you now, and what you plan to do from this point forward.

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I don't have a cool new guy or a cool new life. its all the same really...

 

No, but you have grown so much stronger since the break up. You never thought you would make it on your own, and I think you did great. You managed to be independent and took steps on getting your life back together. I think you've come a long way and it's only getting better from this point forward. Stop being so negative on yourself and realize that you are so much stronger than you pertain to be.

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you might not have the "new life" or the "new girl/guy" ...but ya know what you have and will have? the new YOU - the new and improved - smarter- stronger you!

 

you know what he will have?

 

the same old schmo - the same issues, problems, relationships, yada yada.

 

you'll see- maybe right now it doesn't feel like things are going your way ..but they are- its just all under the surface... and you can't see it yet- but when you do ... you'll feel amazing.

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I've had similar setbacks, and it hurts like crazy, but I find that it doesn't last as long as it did when we first split. The farther out I get (2 months now), the shorter the lows are. It is a major blow when they move on, but look, you don't really know what's going on. I wouldn't read anything into it---certainly not anything like you were terrible and he's happier with someone else---even if you got their wedding invitation in the mail, you wouldn't know that. However, it's going to help you a lot to stop checking on him, via Myspace, mutual friends, whatever. The less you know, the happier you'll be.

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CoCo, same thing happened to me. Thought I was doing great after several months and then on the phone with him (as friends) last week, just had a complete meltdown. Maybe it is normal to have two lowpoints before we move on. I figure that when we are really really down, then there is no place to go but up. I know, silly but hey I'll take platitudes at this point.

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How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt You...
How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt You OR Yourself!!

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